Author Mysterio Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 I almost think that some men will lead women on and not admit they have a special lady in their lives. Where as women have no problem being upfront with their status. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I almost think that some men will lead women on and not admit they have a special lady in their lives. Where as women have no problem being upfront with their status. Best not to generalise - some men will be very upfront about their marital status and will not stop talking about their wife and their kids, some women will deliberately hide it away too. It is an individual thing and there will be many individual reasons as to why a person will shout it from the roof tops or will make a secret of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 (edited) It just happens naturally anyway , l dunno what you'd have to "state" as you put it. Can't believe the stuff l read like - will we be a realationship, will we be exclusive , l mean what is all that shyt . do people really talk like that. Two people just know it if all the right feelings and stuff is there, you just do. It's a given, it's in your face. Believe me when you really find that, you'll just laugh at all the bs. As for moving straight into something new ,l just dunno how anyone does that.let alone people walking straight out of 20yr marriages and straight into someone else. That l will never get. Hell the last thing l wanted to do after 19yrs was jump back into another frypan. No thanks ya. Edited November 11, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Hell the last thing l wanted to do after 19yrs was jump back into another frypan. No thanks ya. Mine was 28 years, 33 counting the pre-marital dating and 'living in sin' And I felt exactly the same way ..... until I ran into some (apparently) happily-married old friends at a social gathering and got 'wacked between the eyes with a 2x4'. When you're 'wounded' it's so easy to forget that good relationships are possible AND, at least for some people, a source or great happiness and fulfillment. Everyone is different. It took me several months and the aforementioned wack but I'm 'back on the bicycle'. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 One of the first things I discovered when I started digging into how my "nice guy" qualities messed up everything for me was that I was getting to know women before deciding to ask them out when I should have asked them out first and then gotten to know them. Even though that seems totally strange to me - I view friendship and romantic interest as being on the same continuous spectrum - it's just a fact that so many women view them as completely separate tracks, much in the way that so many men can separate sex and love. My advice for those of us with "nice guy" tendencies is that if in doubt, it is better to err on the cold-calling side rather than the "friendship" side. However, from what I've seen on LS and in other places, it sounds like actual cold-calling is a very low-probability venture. I think you somehow have to break out of the "complete stranger" role while avoiding really deep get-to-know-all-your-hopes-and-dreams type conversations. Probably a very tricky operation without lots and lots of practice. Link to post Share on other sites
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