niki99 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Hello all, new here and new to bieng on my own. Let me explain. Four months ago, I found out my husband was sleeping with his childhoods best friends wife, for possibly a year. The husband called me a work mid day to tell me he read all her texts,and relayed confirmation of a loving affair. I felt something was off with my husband, but wasn't certain. I didn't think it was with his best buds wife,ever. So I put up a hell of a reaction of anger, fueled completely by hurt. I kicked him out, let him come back ×3. Till finally he decided not to come back. we talked, he said he wasn't seeing her anymore, so we thought to try and take things slow...keep in mind, I deeply loved this man, new I could forgive, the infidelity with time. weeks went on, we lived apart. Till she called me to ask if we where still seeing each other. Crap again hit the fan. I changed my phone number, but he called my work constantly, so I had to call him, to hear he wasn't seeing her anymore. I fell for it over and over, for months. Then in October, he planned a trip for our wedding anniversary in Cuba. I went, but at the airport she, sent me a text, how she got my number? I don't know. Anyway her text says, did he tell you the news???? We are boarding the plane, I sent a reply back, what news, she says ask him. So, on a guess I ask if she is pregnant, again sh says ask him, so I did, he says no, she is saying that to ruin our trip, he says why would I be going to cuba with you, if I didn't want to work us out. Needless to say the trip was a total bust!!! I could not get past what she said. So the day we came back, I packed just my clothes and moved into my girlfriends home. He has not be living with me for months, but I hated bieng at the house where the memories where to consuming. He went and took everything! We fought long and hard, mean words kept coming. Then we cooled off, talked 10 times a day met up kissed.... then 1 day after we slept together, he tells me,we can't talk for a while he needs to sort the demons in his head. Blocks me completely. Has not called me,emailed nothing. But I'm in limbo, hurt like nothing before, trying to figure out the next steps....its really hard when you love someone even though he betrayed the trust. We are married, no kids. Advise please. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) I'm sorry, I'm sure this has been really difficult for you... But, when I read your story, I feel like I want to say why would you ever consider staying with this man? Your husband sounds like a Prince - he takes "cheating" to a whole new level... he has a mean streak. What he has done is callous and he seems to show no remorse. I would be out of there so fast, he wouldn't even see me go... Edited November 7, 2017 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 How awful for you. If you really want this to work I think you need to do 2 things: get marriage counseling & talk to a lawyer about getting a cease & desist order against the OW If your STBXH won't go to counseling, then you need to start taking steps to protect yourself as best as possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 So, he was cheating on her with you, cheating on you with her, and she may be pregnant. Hon, get a lawyer and file for the divorce. Let his mistress have him with your compliments. They deserve each other. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JimmyNYC Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Hi I read your story. Unfortunately you only have one option. Leave him and never get back together. Ever. I know it will be hard for you since you love him. But he will continue this pattern. You deserve better. Do you really want to be married to someone that cheats on you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author niki99 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 This is all too familiar' date=' except I stayed, he continued to cheat, we had two sons together and eventually divorced...after 15 years. The cheating lasted the entire marriage. I know what you're going through and the hurt and betrayal run deep. If you haven't been to marriage counseling please go. Invite him along, after all, he did say he needs to sort out the demons in his head...he can't do that on his own. If he refuses to go then still go on your own...you can't sort this out on your own, either. In time you will know what direction your marriage is going. I am so sorry you are going through this...but I know with help you can experience healing, whether your marriage survives or not.[/quote'] Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind , chatting more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author niki99 Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 So, he was cheating on her with you, cheating on you with her, and she may be pregnant. Hon, get a lawyer and file for the divorce. Let his mistress have him with your compliments. They deserve each other. Yes , they do deserve each other, two cheaters. Link to post Share on other sites
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