Author amazonrambo Posted November 10, 2017 Author Share Posted November 10, 2017 Noticed on Instagram she posted a picture of her and a couple of friends tagged in a bar in town, maybe the money thing was an excuse unless they've bought her drinks (just like I paid for her on our previous date) until she gets paid. I deactivated myself on Facebook just to avoid snooping and working myself up over it. I think the fact that the texting itself has died down is enough for me to move on but I'm a tryer so I'll give things one last shot after the weekend. Currently texting a different girl in the meantime, but I've noticed my ex girlfriend from a couple of months ago is on this new girl's friends list Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Currently texting a different girl in the meantime, but I've noticed my ex girlfriend from a couple of months ago is on this new girl's friends list Thats weird. Does she know your ex? Or is your ex spiteful enough to ruin things for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 10, 2017 Author Share Posted November 10, 2017 Thats weird. Does she know your ex? Or is your ex spiteful enough to ruin things for you? Nah, my ex wouldn't do something like that. She broke up with me because she felt something was missing after three months together, that and she has mental health issues like periods of feeling down and you could tell she wasn't over her previous six year relationship. They're both teachers so maybe they were on the same course or something. She's definitely not a close friend with my ex because I've never heard her name before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 My plan to text this other girl tomorrow was to say something fun and jokey like this "So I've had a weekend involving breaking hearts, near death experiences and chocolate ice cream... Can you beat that? ;)". Think that's okay? I'm wanting to keep it playful before asking her out, which I'll do the following text and get straight to the point rather than chit chatting. Assuming she replies, if not then I'll obviously forget about it and not waste any more time. Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 My plan to text this other girl tomorrow was to say something fun and jokey like this "So I've had a weekend involving breaking hearts, near death experiences and chocolate ice cream... Can you beat that? ;)". Think that's okay? I'm wanting to keep it playful before asking her out, which I'll do the following text and get straight to the point rather than chit chatting. Assuming she replies, if not then I'll obviously forget about it and not waste any more time. What's the breaking hearts thing about? If you're being vague like that all the time (like with you FB status) it could come across as you trying to passive aggressively bait her into asking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 What's the breaking hearts thing about? If you're being vague like that all the time (like with you FB status) it could come across as you trying to passive aggressively bait her into asking about it. It's not something specifically, it's just being playful, like if a girl asks what I'm doing I'd jokingly say something like I'm robbing a bank or whatever. But you have a point, especially after the FB status. Maybe I could just say "robbing banks" instead of breaking hearts in this situation. I'd rather avoid the boring "how's your weekend" stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 Noticed from my Facebook feed yesterday and tonight, as it popped up when I was on there, she's been out with friends drinking. Friday night she was out with a few work friends and she's out in her hometown with her best friend tonight. I didn't go looking for it, just from what was on my news feed lol. Doesn't really give me hope about this "money excuse", unless they paid for her like I did on my dates or whether she mentioned lack of money because our dates seem to cost £30-40 wherever we go, e.g escape room was £40, meal was £30 both times so maybe she can't afford that just yet but drinking she doesn't have to spend so much. I know I'm overthinking it and to be honest I'd probably just be glad when this is over, but I'll get my answer tomorrow. End of the day I want to be dating someone who makes it easy and is interested, not someone who makes my life harder. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 After two dates, and you guys are posting about being broken and opening and closing doors? I don't even think of a first date as a window, let alone a door. I think you are way too over invested so early on. I mean, she doesn't instantly accept and you are thinking of writing a text to her that says "it's run its course." What course? Can you even know someone that well after two dates? It's all pretty superficial at that point still. I also don't see how she's made your life harder. She's gone on two dates with you and if you acted a bit more relaxed, would probably get a third. But if you start trying to control her, I would say she's in the right to bail. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lovephule Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Same girl? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/642337-if-you-ve-only-been-two-dates-guy-but-he-likes-another-girl-s-picture I am going to gently suggest that you are unnecessarily making your own life harder. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I'm 25 and she is 23. She lives in her own flat and mentioned the cost of her rent and bills, it seemed a lot. Money is hardly a topic we talk about. It first started on the day of our second date, on Wednesday, when she asked how much is the place we're going to going to cost? I told her the price and she said she wouldn't be able to afford that because of the new laptop she's bought for work (I knew she was purchasing one as this came up on our first date). I told her it was okay and I had it already booked/paid for. All of her money is sucked into her laptop right now it seems. When we went out to eat she said she wanted my details to transfer money across when she gets paid, but I told her not to worry. She mentioned she only had about £8 in her account and she joked about it. After she text me tonight, she tagged me in this picture on facebook https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/23319304_1843625949078836_4489135394653591424_n.jpg?oh=86e297dbbf0b3872966affb80130d1d4&oe=5A98467D I've noticed the texting has died down a little but I'll be direct and message her on Sunday to see when she's free the following week and say it's my treat. If I get some other excuse or anything other than yes, I'll either tell her that it's been great getting to know her but best I take the hint and leave things here wishing her good luck for the future, or I don't reply and just remove her from Facebook and move on. I'd rather someone be honest with me if they weren't feeling it, than excuses.. But the "lack of money" and "buying a laptop for work" did crop up in both of our dates so it wasn't just made up tonight. Too young into the adult-hood you two.. She's not ready for anything serious mostly like to pay her way so the guy doesn't think he can get something from her like sex if he pays it all. You have nothing more than just friends getting together and hangout. That's all this is. Money going plastic more over in this country. I am surprise there not the same yet. Anyhow just have fun when she has the money to pay her half. Otherwise start to have other options. If you feel your not getting anything out her which your not! Go find another girl to be more involved with romantically. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I admit to only skimming this thread, but here is my 30000-foot view. Instead of clarifying with the girl herself what she meant, you are asking us--a bunch of complete strangers who presumably never met EITHER of you. Then you are trying to decipher her smoke signals via social media. All this after 2 dates. You do realize how much of a fool's errand this is, no? I think your idea to just go for the third date tomorrow is a good solid one. That should have been your plan all along tho. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 After two dates, and you guys are posting about being broken and opening and closing doors? I don't even think of a first date as a window, let alone a door. I think you are way too over invested so early on. I mean, she doesn't instantly accept and you are thinking of writing a text to her that says "it's run its course." What course? Can you even know someone that well after two dates? It's all pretty superficial at that point still. I also don't see how she's made your life harder. She's gone on two dates with you and if you acted a bit more relaxed, would probably get a third. But if you start trying to control her, I would say she's in the right to bail. I have been acting relaxed with her. I asked when she was next free and she said she had a lack of money so I said fair enough, we'll sort something another time, get back to me when you know. The opening and closing doors status wasn't about her. I put on my status that I was feeling determined and that one door closes another one opens. She asked me what my status was about then tagged me in a funny picture moments later. I told her that I had a productive day with job applications and career stuff, etc. That was Thursday night and I've not heard anything back since. I know it's only been two dates, but when she's been reaching out everyday having conversations with me, we've had a good time on both dates then she suddenly disappears without explanation, it hurts in some way. I'd have accepted a text from her saying she didn't feel the spark or something so I can move on from it without being in this limbo state. I'll be removing her from Facebook tonight anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 I admit to only skimming this thread, but here is my 30000-foot view. Instead of clarifying with the girl herself what she meant, you are asking us--a bunch of complete strangers who presumably never met EITHER of you. Then you are trying to decipher her smoke signals via social media. All this after 2 dates. You do realize how much of a fool's errand this is, no? I think your idea to just go for the third date tomorrow is a good solid one. That should have been your plan all along tho. I did on Thursday night but she just gave me a "Haha, maybe when I have some more money :')". I texted her light hearted text this morning, funnily enough at the same time she uploaded a picture to her instagram so I know she's awake. That was just under two hours ago so no reply. I'll give her until tomorrow morning before I start work and remove her from Facebook. My guess is there's either someone else or like one of the above posters said, she doesn't want anything serious. Neither works for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 After two dates, and you guys are posting about being broken and opening and closing doors? I don't even think of a first date as a window, let alone a door. I think you are way too over invested so early on. I mean, she doesn't instantly accept and you are thinking of writing a text to her that says "it's run its course." What course? Can you even know someone that well after two dates? It's all pretty superficial at that point still. I also don't see how she's made your life harder. She's gone on two dates with you and if you acted a bit more relaxed, would probably get a third. But if you start trying to control her, I would say she's in the right to bail. How am I trying to control her? I asked when she was free, she said maybe when she has more money so I accepted and told her to let me know when she does. My facebook status had nothing to do with her. I'm assuming she thought it did otherwise she wouldn't have asked me, but I told her it wasn't anything to do with her and I've had no reply since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 I admit to only skimming this thread, but here is my 30000-foot view. Instead of clarifying with the girl herself what she meant, you are asking us--a bunch of complete strangers who presumably never met EITHER of you. Then you are trying to decipher her smoke signals via social media. All this after 2 dates. You do realize how much of a fool's errand this is, no? This is usually why I post on forums like these, to get an outside perspective on my situation. Because my mind is too focused on liking her, it takes away the ability to see things clearly which is why I ask for help from you guys. I wanted to know if she was just blowing me off with an excuse, well now I know I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 How am I trying to control her? I asked when she was free, she said maybe when she has more money so I accepted and told her to let me know when she does. My facebook status had nothing to do with her. I'm assuming she thought it did otherwise she wouldn't have asked me, but I told her it wasn't anything to do with her and I've had no reply since. I am not saying you are controlling her yet, but statements such as I'll probably tell her that I had fun getting to know her but I think this has run it's course and I'll take the hint and she has my number if she changes her mind. When you have only gone on two dates, and you are unhappy with her response speed (which from what I can tell is not that unreasonable) combined with some of your other actions, it comes across that you are trying to strong-arm her into giving you answer. Attraction will build stronger for her if the relationship develops organically, instead of forced. I think she has hesitated because you have done something to make her feel pressured. I don't know because we only see one side on these forums, but just the way you are analyzing all of her Instagram posts and deducing these scenarios about her motivations based on little evidence, makes it easier for me assume you are giving off needy vibes which she has picked up on. Maybe you still have another chance, but I think if you send her those types of texts uninitiated, than you risk killing any chance. BTW I am not trying to attack you, if it came across that way. Just trying to give some advice. Hope it helps in some way. Link to post Share on other sites
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