jayme Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 This is my first time on this site and I am hoping people can give me some in site or different perspective or even tell me I am being too over protective for my own good. My husband has been teaching (a sport) to a younger girl for several years now. WE had developed a relationship with her after our child was born. My relationship with her was that of "the babysitter". My husband and her have developed a different relationship (other than a coach or babysitter). She is about 10 yrs younger than my husband. I think this relationship has gotten inappropriate now. We have been having problems since our son was born about 2 yrs ago as most new parents do when the attention is on the child all of the time. I have tried to discuss this with him but he has no answers just a nod of the head. He had some major disappointments regarding a job he did not get and this has sent him into a depression that he is now on medication for and getting better. However his checking out of the relationship sent up a red flag in my head and my suspicions went straight to this babysitter! I have questioned him and he states there is nothing going on. He has given her a job at the place he works and plays the sport with her too. When I am out of town or working (and he is on his day off) they do things together with my son. She calls his cell phone late at night for no reason, other than to leave a message about seeing him earlier that day or some "thank you" regarding a tip she got from him (a tip about the sport). The messages are at midnight and start with "Let me just say...you are amazing" She makes me sick and I have resorted to checking his phone daily for other evidence of cheating. She knows all about our problems and his reasoning for this is she is his friend. I say get another friend...A GUY FRIEND! I have NEVER in my life been like this and the insecurity is killing both of us! Any suggestions Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Hire a PI, install a keylogger on your computer, get your hands on those cell bills and see if there is anything that can confirm or ease your fears. Going to him about it won't help - if something is going on, and he knows that there isn't much that you could have caught on to he will just go to greater lengths to gaslight you and bury the affair deeper. Don't let on at all anymore that you think something is going on. Just do some digging of your own. Link to post Share on other sites
sburtug03 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Totally agree with earlier reply to your problem. You deserve one way or another to know the truth and he won't give you the answer, you need to catch them. Get yourself a babysitter without him knowing while the two of them are out together and see what they get up to. Do you know anyone at his work you could ask to watch them? Whether you find he is cheating by being intimate with this woman who should get her own life, or not, he has still been cheating on you. Relationships are not just about intimacy but being in a shared partnership of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, etc, this is what he is doing with this woman and not you. You and your partner need to talk about this and give the old 'heave ho' to this third party gate crasher. x Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Sounds a little sketchy to me. Link to post Share on other sites
liswil Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Why are you allowing it??? Even if it WAS innocent (and it's not), you don't call someone's house at midnight especially when they have a two year old! He's especially vulnerable because he's depressed. She's making him feel better by boosting his ego and he doesn't have all the day to day problems to deal with in his interactions with her. You need to tell him that he has to stop. If he doesn't stop, you've got a problem there. Link to post Share on other sites
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