niceties55 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Please help me. w/ school starting up i really need help. I read the other forum about the shy kid. I too am 17 male. And i have probs talking to any girl the i personally find attractive. Especially this one girl at school who is very hot. Anyway here's the diffrent thing. Every time she talks to me i ignore her and pretend that i don't hear her especially when she is around her other girl friends. I don't know wats wrong w/ me. Also i can never start a conversation w/ her. She has to start it. Also when ever there is a girl somewhere that i find attractive (like at a mall) i try to go out of my way to avoid her, that also goes for this girl at school. I want to get over my shyness (and insecurity?) Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 The thing is that you have to start showing these girls that you are interested. Since you seem to ignore them and things like that then you will never be able to get with one of them. I know how it is to be really shy. I spent 2 years in High School like that. then one day I just was like I don't care what other people think I'm just going to do what I want. So, that cracked the Shy Shell... What you need to do is be nice to the girl, talk to her all the time, sit with her at lunch if possible. Once you get a good conversation going it won't be hard. There are easy conversation starters like... Hey, how are you? Did you get question number 5 from homework? Just simple things... Surprise her and start the conversation... Don't Run from her!!!! Try to get to know her!!!! Even if your mind is telling you to ignore her DON'T!!!! The only way to get over Shyness is to just overcome it!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceties55 Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Thnaks a lot. But I have a lot of trouble trying to keep conversation w/ girls. If I talk to them, it lasts for only a few seconds before I run out of things to say and the conversation ends. Also I don't know if this girl still likes me. (and she has every reason not to because I ignored her) How would I know if she still likes me. I really want to make things right this year with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Dean3922 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Shyness will make you sad and lonely if you don't get a handle on it and try to turn your fear aside. If you like these gals and you avoid/ignore them you will be seen as stuck-up or strange. Since this is not what you want you need to do things to correct your fear. I'm sure you think if you talk to them you will make yourself look like a fool or you are afraid to let a girl know that you like her. Tackling your fears is not easy but if you want to improve it requires work. The next time you see this girl at school do nothing but smile at her. Make yourself seem friendly and approachable. After a few times she will probably smile back or say hello. Start with a hello and then you might ask her about some school work or a school activity. Be brief at first until you become more familiar with each other. When you stand there and try to think of things to say is when you will get nervous and your mind will shut down. Go slow. It is not a race. Show some interest and if you get some in return then you will need to express your feelings to her. Compliment her dress or hair. Just be friendly and if it doesn't go beyond friendship at least you made an attempt and it will help you for the next crush. Good Luck... Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Compliments and being friendly will help out with this. Just go with the flow of the conversation. Just talk about anything. Take it slow. Since you have been ignoring the girl it will take alittle more time to try to get this all worked out right. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 You're probably focusing on your own physical sensations when you speak to girls you like. It would be an idea to practise calming exercises when you're on your own. Imagine yourself talking to someone you're attracted to, experience the usual sensations you get and then practise managing them by using deep breathing and relaxation exercises. Focus on relaxing your shoulders, arms, hands, legs etc. These exercises will help to give you poise and balance and make it easier to focus on what the girl is saying to you rather than on the fact that you're maybe blushing or feeling slightly shaky. Women love it when guys smile at them. It relaxes us, and it relaxes you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceties55 Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Thnx for all your help. All you people make me feel welcome here. Also i have been noticing during the last quarter of last years school year(i havent seen her all summer) the only reason she talked to me was to borrow my digital camera for yearbook pics. And she usually dosent return the camera to me in person. She gives it to someone else (my sis, another student) who in turn gives it to me. What is the problem there? Link to post Share on other sites
MadManMike Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I used to be just like you when I was your age. the good news is you will eventually get over the shyness. the bad news is you will regret not making a bigger effort to date those girls you like especially the ones you know that like you. I know its hard and at times it seems impossible because its like your whole body will not respond at times but you will have to make small talk and the more you talk to these girls the easier it will become. you can get over it in a few months or you can spend the rest of your life trying to get over while missing out on life. It all depends on how much effort your willing to put into it. There was this girl I liked and I was really shy like you and I was 17 at the time. I skipped my class and went to here photo class. she was in the darkroom making pictures so I went in there with the movie listing and asked her what movie she would like to see. she picked one and I told her I would pick her up at such and such a time. I was scared out of mind when I did it but I forced myself with everything I had in me because I knew I would regret it and I do regret all the other times I missed going out with girls cause of my shyness. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Just go for it keep asking youll get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceties55 Posted August 20, 2005 Author Share Posted August 20, 2005 Hey thanks a lot. Can you please give me any signs whether a girl likes you anymore or not, so i know whether i should continue to presue a relationship w/ this girl or not? Link to post Share on other sites
MadManMike Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 one sure sign is if she playfully hits you. woman often do this when they are interested in a man. if she smiles and looks you in the eye. how close she stands next to you when talking(i.e. if she stands close to you that could mean she is interested in you) its all about body language. when you talk with her pay close attention to how she reacts to what you say. you could get a book at the library that tells you everything you need to know about how to read someones body language. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceties55 Posted August 21, 2005 Author Share Posted August 21, 2005 K....i'll try that Any books you recommend over others. I mean likes what the best book on body language Link to post Share on other sites
droopydad Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Niceties, I have been plauged by shyness all my life. One of the basic things I've learned is that out in the real world, if your shy, you'll get stepped on by everyone who's not shy. I can't begin to tell you what I've lost out on throughout my life. What I do is paint a mental picture of myself accomplishing what it is I want to do, then go do it. Don't think about it, don't rehearse it, just go after what it is that you want. Nine times out of ten you'd be surprised at the results. After you start being successful, you will find your shyness manageable for the most part, although be on guard for the occasional setback, when things don't go as planned. I have found that it's mostly mind over matter, and once you get the right "mindset" that things will become much easier for you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Big9erFan Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 I used to be VERY shy. Getting walked on and taken advantage of and all that was just part of it. The things that you lose out on are countless. What is it you are afraid of? Rejection? Her not liking you? The worst that happens is she says she doesn't like you, or doesn't want to go on a date or whatever. The best, she says she DOES like you or DOES want to go out. Now, while the first isn't a great thing to hear, it isn't going to kill you. If it turns out well, you've got a girl interested and just knowing that will already make you more confident. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Soul Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 I know how hard it is to be shy. But, it's important that you let this girl know you're interested. When she's talking to you show that she has your full attention. Asking her questions will help a lot - it will make you seem like you have a lot to talk about, even though she'll be doing most of the talking. If you don't do something now I'm sure you'll regret you didn't take the chance to get to know her better. Link to post Share on other sites
Saidar Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 I'm also 17, and also a shy guy. Ive learned the hard way - shyness is for the weak. You have to overcome it, otherwise the other guys are ALWAYS going to be above you. I liked 4 girls since primary school, and lost all 4 of them because of my shyness. It's hard, I know, but we must overcome it. Link to post Share on other sites
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