CantDecide... Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 well the title says it ys y..For the past couple days my ex and I have been hanging out. tuesday for a few hours swinging on swings in the park, last night i was at her house in the middle of night just talking and stuff for a few hours. But 2 nite i was teaching her to paralel park, and we decided to go and get some ice cream. After ice cream there wasnt much to do so we decided to go back to my house. While we were there we watched some tv and she asked for a message, so i gave her one and so okay fine but i get one to, so w/e were just hanging out, and i said what would u do if i just kissed you right now. and shes like please dont but with the look of dont but do it i kinda wanna see how it feels. So anyways about 5 minutes later i kiss her, and we make out for about a minute. After a minute of kissing we stop and she is all wierd and says this is exacltey why i didnt wanan kiss you. She said that it made her remember all the good in our relationship, and how her heart is so broken about the way the last month and a half before we broke up was. to summerize, i was neglecting her, she had dance and work 24/7, and i had work as well. and she said that she still really misses all the good in our relationship. so i said to her well do u miss the good more, or do u wanna stay apart more. and she basically said that shes still really scared things will go back to the neglecting way again, which i dont feel she is wrong to think. i dunno do u guys think im a fighting a lost cause, should i just move on and forget about her, i mean kissing her definetly opened up a bunch of doors in her head. O yea btw some guy she met in town caleld her as i was giving her a message, she said she hadnt talked to him in like 3 weeks, and she never lies but that just kinda was like ooooo kkkkk, so i dunno i gues im lost and confused about all this. What really is confusing me is that when her and i hang out its absolutley amazing. we laugh, we talk, we joke, act stupid the way we were, we hang out, talk on the phone, talk on aim, enjoy eachothers company, talk about going to the city, im teachering her to paralel park, its just so confusing to me. i really dont know what to do anymore. please give me some advice Link to post Share on other sites
strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Theres a great site that I wish I could give you the link to on here but I cant post the link. Do a keyword search for dating tips though and should come up. Sounds like you are doing just fine. My tip would be dont mention getting back together let her be the one to do it . From now on if you feel like your going to ask her about getting back together DONT DO IT!!.. pretend shes like a little animal you are coaxing out of its den. Any sudden moves you make will scare her off. Dont worry so much about the other guy. My ex was always telling me about some otehr guy when we had our little break ups. If she is hanging out with you hes obviously not that big of a deal... ciao Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantDecide... Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Theres a great site that I wish I could give you the link to on here but I cant post the link. Do a keyword search for dating tips though and should come up. Sounds like you are doing just fine. My tip would be dont mention getting back together let her be the one to do it . From now on if you feel like your going to ask her about getting back together DONT DO IT!!.. pretend shes like a little animal you are coaxing out of its den. Any sudden moves you make will scare her off. Dont worry so much about the other guy. My ex was always telling me about some otehr guy when we had our little break ups. If she is hanging out with you hes obviously not that big of a deal... ciao well yea i dont mention getting back together i was doing that in the beginingof the break up, and was just annoying her. you see it feels like im doing fine, but she aso said things like i dont feel u deserve 2 get me back right now, i dont want to try and think of the good that we had in our relti0onship, it hurts to much. so its like if she doesnt want to think aboutthen im never going to get her back. but yet we hang out 24/7 and talk on phone and aim so im confused as hell. uhhh and the other guy, she said she met him 3 weeks ago and thats the first time hes called im not really worried, if she really loves me and then she wont hook up with him and if she does, maybe shell relize its not me. o well u see i forgot to mention she was crying after we kissed about how sad she was that all the good we had was over cuz of that bad period. any ther opinions Link to post Share on other sites
strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Just try to make the time enjoyable. Look The first time I broke up with my ex, i didnt see her for 6 weeks. The she shows up at my shop.. Then she wont talk to me unless her friend is there. Then she leaves and calls me when she gets home. Then she calls the next day and leaves a message and says she cant do this. Then she just kept calling until one day she agreed to go out.. we had fun but we bickered at bit too. And ended up at my place and that was it. So its like this in salesman terms your ex is saying all this stuff is whats called objections. She wants to be with you but she is worried. It sucks I know! It throws you off and makes you question everything. And what you have to do is do your best to make her feel reassured..and its better to do that with actions not words. Hope that helps ciao Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 just act all cool about things. Don't talk to her about your relationship with her. Just have fun with her.Just show her that your doing a bunch of things and you want her to be happy. Don't ask her if she wants to be with you. Don't tell her you want to be with her. Thats a sign a weakness. Girls don't like that. My friend gave me this same advice in my situation which was the same as yours and I fd up because I didn't listen to him. I know it's hard to do but be strong dude. I caved I wouldn't want the same thing to happen to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Just try to make the time enjoyable. Look The first time I broke up with my ex, i didnt see her for 6 weeks. The she shows up at my shop.. Then she wont talk to me unless her friend is there. Then she leaves and calls me when she gets home. Then she calls the next day and leaves a message and says she cant do this. Then she just kept calling until one day she agreed to go out.. we had fun but we bickered at bit too. And ended up at my place and that was it. So its like this in salesman terms your ex is saying all this stuff is whats called objections. She wants to be with you but she is worried. It sucks I know! It throws you off and makes you question everything. And what you have to do is do your best to make her feel reassured..and its better to do that with actions not words. Hope that helps ciao Great advice by the way Link to post Share on other sites
Rocko Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 IMHO you should feel great! I think there's still hope. Follow Dr. Strangelove's advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantDecide... Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 ok guys bit of an update.... her and i talked a bit today i called her cuz she was really upset and stuff, so i was like listen i dont want it to be wierd now btween us. and she said the same thing, i was like u knowi still wanan finsih teaching u to drive i love talking on the phone, i love talkign to u in general i still wanan go to the city with u etc etc and she agreed totally. She then said u know when we first broke up it was easy to not get upset becasue all i thought about was the bad, but now i see that things are good, and now i think about rthe good that we usto have. so i was like well then if u see us havinga great time now and see are chemistry, hwhats really holding you back from us being togther...her asnwer was i just dont know if i feel i wanan give u the satisfaction of having me back, i just feel if i go back on my decision, it wont mean anything, and i just dont know if i want to get back intoa relationship. but yet she agreed things have been really good between us. so its like ummm okkk i gues im just going to continue with this friendship the way its been, not talkign about us just making sure were alwasy laughing anfd having fun....what do u guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Rocko Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Stay friends with her and keep having the good times. Just make sure you do not bring up the relationship in anyway. You should probably also consider looking at other girls as well if you have a friendship with her. If it's meant to be she'll say something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantDecide... Posted August 20, 2005 Author Share Posted August 20, 2005 yea u know i was thinking that about other girls, possibly make her jealous. Yea i really dont brink up me and her in a relationship. i just play it cool. but like last night for example she goes yea im glad we have eachother to hang out with since both of are groups of friends are being wierd to us. but im kind of afraid something may happen that i dont want "right now" soooo that kind of said a lot Link to post Share on other sites
strangelove Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Its at these times you should try and meet her to talk.. and like take a walk with her and try and hold her hand or something... I know its tough. I always had the same bs from women when we broke up and I tried to get back. They will give you every reason in the book not to get back.. meanwhile they are calling and calling.. You could even try something romantic.. try a web search for romantic things to do.. not something big but .. for example one ex I was trying to get back I took food to. The other girl thing..im not so sure id try that ... that could backfire. I think you would only need to go that far if she wasnt hanging out with you. If you feel like meeting other women id keep it a secret. keep up the good work.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantDecide... Posted August 21, 2005 Author Share Posted August 21, 2005 Originally posted by strangelove Its at these times you should try and meet her to talk.. and like take a walk with her and try and hold her hand or something... I know its tough. I always had the same bs from women when we broke up and I tried to get back. They will give you every reason in the book not to get back.. meanwhile they are calling and calling.. You could even try something romantic.. try a web search for romantic things to do.. not something big but .. for example one ex I was trying to get back I took food to. The other girl thing..im not so sure id try that ... that could backfire. I think you would only need to go that far if she wasnt hanging out with you. If you feel like meeting other women id keep it a secret. keep up the good work.. well her and i have hung out everyday this week, since tuesday. tueday we went and swang on swings in the park. then talked later that night, wednesday we parked and stuff for an hour, then later that night she invited me to her house at like midnight for an hour or so, thursday we parked again got ice cream and kissed at my house. Friday we both stayed home didnt go out, but staurday we went to mall i had to go clothes shopping and hung out at mall and her house for the entire day. so like were doing fun things, im keeping my expectations sumwhat low so i dont get my heart completly broken if things dont work out. IM not talkign about us being togther, and each day we hang out it seems to get closer and closer, like more and more comfortable with eachother, as in i was giving her a massage just standing, but then she let me sit in the chair she was in and she was laying on me, so things seem ok...im just trying to play it cool. do i sound like im doing ok? Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 I wonder what some of you guys would do on here if, you had to go one year with seeing someone you love. Most of you guys talk about time apart that is a few hours or maybe a week..etc.. Imagine what its like going one whole year and still not getting any closer... Imagine whats its like everyday having to try an bury those feelings of you love you have for the person. And in the end all you have to show the world everyday is a frown. Ya sure your doing ok.. great have a party. I was going to say take a day off.. but thats up to you. Sounds like things are pretty intense.. Im afraid I dont remember how that feels, so dont ask me about those feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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