Need opinion on sex (love)

[diana]

I have been married for 2 years now and I love my husband very much but there's something I just don't understand about sex. I realize woman are more emotional and are into it for the love & romance while men are more sexual (turned on very fast) Woman need love to be turned on while men seem to only need a visual. Anyway, even though I love my spouse and he loves me I never feel any love when we make love. Either he just doesn't know anything about woman or he's totally into himself. He never looks at me-its like he can't concentrate on 2 things at one time. He cannot kiss or look me in the eyes while being on me and go in and out at the same time. I don't feel he's in tuned with me at all. Sex is just sex w/him. Our love is actually shared in hugs at other times. It just doesn't feel right. Is he just selfish or uncapable or wierd. Give me your opinions.

[Ashesmum]

Has the sex always been like this? If not, you've let him be the way he is now. If the answer is yes, then you should've thought about that before you married him. You need to tell him you aren't turned on at all and you need a little foreplay. I can understand the romance not being what it used to be (that's what happens after a period of time) cause that's what alot of couples experience. So either talk it out with him and if all else fails, get a vibrator for yourself! Good luck.

I have been married for 2 years now and I love my husband very much but there's something I just don't understand about sex. I realize woman are more emotional and are into it for the love & romance while men are more sexual (turned on very fast) Woman need love to be turned on while men seem to only need a visual. Anyway, even though I love my spouse and he loves me I never feel any love when we make love. Either he just doesn't know anything about woman or he's totally into himself. He never looks at me-its like he can't concentrate on 2 things at one time. He cannot kiss or look me in the eyes while being on me and go in and out at the same time. I don't feel he's in tuned with me at all. Sex is just sex w/him. Our love is actually shared in hugs at other times. It just doesn't feel right. Is he just selfish or uncapable or wierd. Give me your opinions.

[sparkle]

TALK to him! Tell him what you want.

 

EXPLAIN to him what you want.

 

DESCRIBE to him what you want.

 

GUIDE him to do what you want.

 

Your marriage is lacking effective communication!! People may argue with me on this, but it takes 2 people to have awful sex. If you're not enjoying making love to him, it's as much your fault as it is his. Have you told him EXACTLY what you want? Maybe it's sometimes a little awkward to describe to a boyfriend what you want, but for heaven's sake, if you've been married to some guy for over 2 years, you should feel totally comfortable to discuss this with him.

 

Tell him EXACTLY, and in details, what you want him to do. Physically show him what you want and guide him to do what you want him to do.

 

Don't just assume that he knows you're not enjoying it. Maybe he thinks you like it if you haven't said otherwise.

 

I don't think he's "selfish or uncapable or weird" at all. I think he's just "uninformed". And it's up to you to make an effort to make it a better experience. Do you just lay there still and let him do his thing real quick? Or do you make an actual effort to try different things, to ask him what to do and how to do it? Do you make it a point to add variety and imagination as well as sexy lingerie to the scenario as well? That helps.

 

Anyhow, you have to communicate your concerns with him. After all, he's your husband.