strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Here you are one day. Your feeling blue and you decide to post about something or have the plan of granduer, that you might ask a simple question to get a simple answer you might adapt for your own use. I caution anyone about to post on here. Imagine its like talking about an intimate problem with different family members. Theres your mom who will probably be supportive. Theres you dad who will want to steer your mindset his way. Theres the crazy uncle or grandfather who was in the war who tell you suck it up, be a man. Great dont deal with those emotions for a second. It doesnt matter if you a bouncer for a night club whos 6 5 and 300lbs or a 5 foot secretary, we all have feelings. In fact sometimes I know for a fact that big hulking bouncer type is the most sensitive of all. Men in general have trouble sharing their feelings. So my caution you before you post is keep in mind there are people who post on here who have nothing better to do. Their replies to posts tend to not be of much help. If intend to reply to someones post keep in mind that empathy always helps. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t68470/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 If you kindly take a tour of the link that loony has provided us with you see what im talking about. Read through this and keep it in mind when your reply to someones post. Empathy is always a good place to start. Link to post Share on other sites
Maria46 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 I really believe that everyone should read the guidelines. We realize that all members may not share the same definitions on issues surrounding personal morality, appropriate behavior, and other sensitive topics of discussion that often appear on the site; we encourage all to voice their own opinions while refraining from criticizing other participants for the perspective they hold. Each person that posts on the forum is to be treated with the utmost respect and civility regardless of how absurd or ridiculous the opinion expressed might seem to you from your perspective. Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. Lately it looks like several posters have either not read the guidelines or decided they do not have to follow them. And I believe that if posters can't follow these guideline, then they should be banned. Should we start naming names?? I will if you would like How about everyone treating others like they would want to be treated. Thanks for letting me express my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
april Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove So my caution you before you post is keep in mind there are people who post on here who have nothing better to do. Their replies to posts tend to not be of much help. If intend to reply to someones post keep in mind that empathy always helps. WTF!!!....and what about the night you said suicide is the only answer...and how we stayed on here all night trying to talk you out of it, eh!!! What about all the support you've received for a year now regarding your breakup? What about the time you said we do not have the capility to read bewteen the lines and our opinions mean dick. Lets show everyone your true colors, shall we? : click here April Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by Maria46 I really believe that everyone should read the guidelines. Lately it looks like several posters have either not read the guidelines or decided they do not have to follow them. And I believe that if posters can't follow these guideline, then they should be banned. Should we start naming names?? I will if you would like How about everyone treating others like they would want to be treated. Thanks for letting me express my opinion. Alot of the problem is.. different people have different ways of viewing and wording things. People think they're trying to help.. but the advice comes out way harsh. So the one who's looking for the advice gets defensive, and so on & so on.. and then the whole thread just turns into people attacking other people. The other problem is that when somebody tells the OP something they don't wanna hear, for some reason the OP gets aggitated. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by Maria46 I really believe that everyone should read the guidelines. Lately it looks like several posters have either not read the guidelines or decided they do not have to follow them. And I believe that if posters can't follow these guideline, then they should be banned. Should we start naming names?? I will if you would like How about everyone treating others like they would want to be treated. Thanks for letting me express my opinion. Alot of the problem is.. different people have different ways of viewing and wording things. People think they're trying to help.. but the advice comes out way harsh. So the one who's looking for the advice gets defensive, and so on & so on.. and then the whole thread just turns into people attacking other people. The other problem is that when somebody tells the OP something they don't wanna hear, for some reason the OP gets aggitated. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by Maria46 I really believe that everyone should read the guidelines. Lately it looks like several posters have either not read the guidelines or decided they do not have to follow them. And I believe that if posters can't follow these guideline, then they should be banned. Should we start naming names?? I will if you would like How about everyone treating others like they would want to be treated. Thanks for letting me express my opinion. Alot of the problem is.. different people have different ways of viewing and wording things. People think they're trying to help.. but the advice comes out way harsh. So the one who's looking for the advice gets defensive, and so on & so on.. and then the whole thread just turns into people attacking other people. The other problem is that when somebody tells the OP something they don't wanna hear, for some reason the OP gets aggitated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Yes Erika I completely agree with that view point. I think that some of the posters should perhaps consider toning things down a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Yes Erika I completely agree with that view point. I think that some of the posters should perhaps consider toning things down a bit. But I've seen some of that in YOUR responses too.. people are going to give you opinions, whether you wanna hear em or not. They're not always gonna tell you what you wanna hear. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Seriously, I think most of the people who use this forum contribute something valid. If you're feeling low, it's nice to get empathy - but sometimes (admittedly not always) it helps when someone takes a more light-hearted approach to keep things in perspective. Generally I'm not keen on the overly harsh approach, but if it helps to knock sense into a hysterical individual who is self-destructing in the name of love - well, so be it. I was that hysterical individual a year ago, and my God do I wish I'd known about this site back then! Most of us would like others to pat us on the head, tell us we're fabulous and advise us to just follow our hearts.... but the acquisition of wisdom, perspective and common sense often requires something a bit tougher (or more thoughtful) than that approach alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 What do you mean my responses erika? Can you show me an example of me being nasty to someones thread? I will agree with you that I can get defensive in response to something I dont like, and my arguement for that is they began the attack, I should be allowed to defend myself. However please show me a post where im nasty to someones thread? Ive take the time to go back and look at my own threads, yes they do tend to be dramatic. By reading rereading my old threads I realize the answer to my problems and questions about my ex is most likely buried there. Also I would like to add if someone writes something nasty, I have a right to speak about wheter I like it or not. Its just like the family analogy I made. Some people are not destined to give out helpful advice. Im not saying I am however I deal with people for a living, I had to deal with people blowing up at me over something that wasnt my fault Ive had to learn how to diffuse the situation. Ive had a huge 6 5 ft guy ready to attack me and I have diffused him by talking. I can even go so far as saying I was robbed and physically beaten up by 3 thugs and if not for my ability to make one them emapthize with my situation I might not be here today. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove What do you mean my responses erika? Can you show me an example of me being nasty to someones thread? I will agree with you that I can get defensive in response to something I dont like, and my arguement for that is they began the attack, I should be allowed to defend myself. However please show me a post where im nasty to someones thread? Ive take the time to go back and look at my own threads, yes they do tend to be dramatic. By reading rereading my old threads I realize the answer to my problems and questions about my ex is most likely buried there. Also I would like to add if someone writes something nasty, I have a right to speak about wheter I like it or not. Its just like the family analogy I made. Some people are not destined to give out helpful advice. Im not saying I am however I deal with people for a living, I had to deal with people blowing up at me over something that wasnt my fault Ive had to learn how to diffuse the situation. Ive had a huge 6 5 ft guy ready to attack me and I have diffused him by talking. I can even go so far as saying I was robbed and physically beaten up by 3 thugs and if not for my ability to make one them emapthize with my situation I might not be here today. The one April's referring to.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 April im not sure what I have done for you to take it upon yourself to publicly challenge me in the forum. I try to read you post and take it seriously but its hard with the bouncing bunny. I feel like I have just sat down at mcdonalds with ronald mcdonald to discuss foriegn politics. That was not meant as an attack. Its more meant as im not sure how to take you, by the way that you present yourself to me. Let me ask you this? Did you have a hard day at work? Do I remind you of an ex? what is it that has you seething at me? Sure I have written alot of different things on here. Yes I did write something about my thoughts on suicide. I hit bottom emotionally that MORNING I began that post at 5 or 6 am. Did you ever consider that I took it upon myself to write that so that someone else considering suicide might think twice? btw that post has since been deleted. Have I not given that support back? In any case have a good day April.. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Erika I started that post.. so im being nasty to myself?" This is the way I see it. If you intend to show up on this forum and you decide to vent at someone, you have opened yourself up for them to be defensive back. I guess you dont see it this way do you. Oh well. I guess we are back to TWELVE ANGRY MEN again. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Erika I started that post.. so im being nasty to myself?" This is the way I see it. If you intend to show up on this forum and you decide to vent at someone, you have opened yourself up for them to be defensive back. I guess you dont see it this way do you. Oh well. I guess we are back to TWELVE ANGRY MEN again. No.. nasty to people who tell you what you don't wanna hear. If you don't like what someone says, just don't reply back.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Grow a set.... and move on.. You need to regain your male dignity. Show some self respect for yourself ... You don't seem to get how foolish you are looking to her ... Oh, and I'd drop the 'love' part in your screen name if I were you. It doesn't suit you. These are all personal attacks. They havent helped the situation. The original posters of these comments would rather not, take responsibilty for what they have said. Maybe I had a different idea about what this place is susposed to be like, maybe I thought it was a sanctuary of sorts. However there are people with an agenda on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Grow a set.... and move on.. You need to regain your male dignity. Show some self respect for yourself ... You don't seem to get how foolish you are looking to her ... Oh, and I'd drop the 'love' part in your screen name if I were you. It doesn't suit you. These are all personal attacks. They havent helped the situation. The original posters of these comments would rather not, take responsibilty for what they have said. Maybe I had a different idea about what this place is susposed to be like, maybe I thought it was a sanctuary of sorts. However there are people with an agenda on here. How are these personal attacks ? Clearly you are wearing your feelings on your sleeve Telling someone to grow a set is saying get a backbone and grow up. You need to regain your male dignity. is telling someone that they are starting to act in a manner unbecoming of their species. Show some self respect for yourself ... This is by far the furtherest thing from an attack.. If you don't know what this means.. You don't seem to get how foolish you are looking to her ...is an observation not an attack.. Clearly Strangelove .. you come here troubled and I think that the reason you are here has gotten lost in all the self-pity that you seem to be pouring out. If you are here for self validation then please tell us that and how you are having trouble coping ... We can give you that kind of advice as well. But if you are here for advice and not here for self-validation then why do you react to peoples posts the way you do ? You don't seem to have the foresite to see that we are all trying to help you.. Not take pot shots at you We all have a different manner and viewpoint than you do.. We have to as we are different people. If my viewpoint was the same as yours then I wouldn't be able to show you other sides of the coin. Link to post Share on other sites
april Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove April im not sure what I have done for you to take it upon yourself to publicly challenge me in the forum. I try to read you post and take it seriously but its hard with the bouncing bunny. I feel like I have just sat down at mcdonalds with ronald mcdonald to discuss foriegn politics. That was not meant as an attack. Its more meant as im not sure how to take you, by the way that you present yourself to me. Let me ask you this? Did you have a hard day at work? Do I remind you of an ex? what is it that has you seething at me? Sure I have written alot of different things on here. Yes I did write something about my thoughts on suicide. I hit bottom emotionally that MORNING I began that post at 5 or 6 am. Did you ever consider that I took it upon myself to write that so that someone else considering suicide might think twice? btw that post has since been deleted. Have I not given that support back? In any case have a good day April.. :-) Oh my, so many questions..plus you don't like the bouncing bunny. Whaaa..cry..*sniff*..*sniff* Actually, you DO remind me of someone else (not an ex)... but that's my problem - not yours. You have a good day too. April Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Now you being a sweetie april (flutter flutter) I guess I could get to like the lil bunny.. does he have a name? (giggles ) Did you have a good day? Im sorry if I remind you of someone.. do u feel like discussing it? Hope to talk to soon April.. hope your weekend is lovely dr. sl xox oxox Link to post Share on other sites
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