memo15mx Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Hello, I've been dating a girl for a month now. I really like her. When we are together everything is fine. We have fun and we have great intimacy. But when we are away, I start missing her and I feel quite jealous. She has different shifts at work and has to travel a lot so seeing her is quite difficult. We meet once or twice a week. She's very active on social media but she takes forever to answer me when I message her. I ask about her day but she rarely asks me about mine. I tried to call her but she was busy, as the day went by I saw she was having fun with her friends. I don't know why it hits me in the heart when I see her not returning my phone call and she is having fun. I've never felt so insecure in a relationship since I was 19. I'm in my 30's now. She says she cares about me but I have trouble feeling it. I just feel she isn't investing much in the relationship. I feel I am wrong to have these feelings. Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 You two have very different ideas about relationships. You want someone who pays more attention, and is more available. She's not that kind of person simple as that. If it doesn't feel right then it's not. Only a month in and you are unhappy...break it off, you are not compatible. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Hello, I've been dating a girl for a month now. I really like her. When we are together everything is fine. We have fun and we have great intimacy. But when we are away, I start missing her and I feel quite jealous. She has different shifts at work and has to travel a lot so seeing her is quite difficult. We meet once or twice a week. She's very active on social media but she takes forever to answer me when I message her. I ask about her day but she rarely asks me about mine. I tried to call her but she was busy, as the day went by I saw she was having fun with her friends. I don't know why it hits me in the heart when I see her not returning my phone call and she is having fun. I've never felt so insecure in a relationship since I was 19. I'm in my 30's now. She says she cares about me but I have trouble feeling it. I just feel she isn't investing much in the relationship. I feel I am wrong to have these feelings. Thanks for reading. This is it. The thing is that it’s only been a month and you have fallen hard for her. Can’t really say she is on the way or not, to soon in the relationship. How long have you known one another? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 I've been in her shoes. I often feel like the guys I date use dating to have a social life. I don't. I have a social life and every once in awhile, I date - but I'm therefore less rushed than they are, and often, less focused on progressing the relationship than they are. This has caused problems. Is there any way you could also have an active social life, one that means you are less focused on her when you're not together? Enjoy your time together, continue building intimacy and slowly get to know each other. One month is soon to be each other's only focus. It doesn't mean she won't get there and doesn't value you. It only means you move at different pace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author memo15mx Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 This is it. The thing is that it’s only been a month and you have fallen hard for her. Can’t really say she is on the way or not, to soon in the relationship. How long have you known one another? About two months. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 About two months. Might just be to soon for her. Chill out some. She might be taking it slow or she is not sure of you yet. One thing I’m sure of, if you start acting like a jealous control freak it’s over. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 I agree with the others that you and her have different views about this relationship. However, I'm really not sure that the right way is to suck it and to wait until she becomes more like you. It's obvious that you're not so important to her as she to you. I wouldn't talk to her about "her" because this way it looks like you're criticising her and you don't want to do that. But you can certainly talk to her about you, telling her that you see that you're not on the same page, therefore you don't really have a choice here, but taking care of yourself. This talk only if you are emotionally ready to break up. She might agree with you and it's the end, or she might be afraid of losing you and try to change your mind. BTW, if it was me, I would have broken up with her first. Because I don't believe in "turning people into a different behavior other than their first choice". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 You feel what you feel. However, being jealous that she is at work, seems a bit over the top to me. She can't quit her job & be with you 24/7. Wanting her to be more responsive is fine. However, if she is not capable of that you will either have to move on or get used to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fixerupper Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 You're not wrong to have these feelings. But don't expect her to change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Is it worth it st one month in? Find another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
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