Dealing with insecure friends tactfully

[Aedra]

I have a hard time being honest in a tactful way in relationships. Often times I'll say things, but I don't realise it sounds rather harsh until it comes out so it shoots me in the foot sometimes. I deal with alot of social anxiety and I'm all round socially awkward so trying to work on that.

 

I have this particularly insecure friend. People love her, she's likeable, but she can't seem to stand it when I gather people for a social event and she's left out because she doesn't particularly enjoy the activity. I also find her self-centered alot of the times. She'll basically try and wrestle people to do something with her instead and guilt trip people. She often asks the mutual friends I don't see as often, so that gets kind of annoying as well...how do you think I should approach it without pissing anyone off.

[MsJayne]

Sometimes it's OK to be a little brutal, and one of those sometimes is when someone is being rude and self-centered. Trying to get people to hang out with her when she knows you've organised an activity and already invited them is just downright rude. Needy people can be a real drain, and while it's good to be supportive and caring towards a friend, it's bad to let someone behave badly because they have social anxiety.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Don't think I'd keep someone on my friend list who planned activities when they'd knew I'd already organized an event and then urged others I'd invited to attend.

[Ieris]

I would highlight what she is doing to the mutual friends and let them see it for themselves. I don't mean in a nasty way but simply point out how she always organizes something on the same day just to clash with yours, then leave your friends to decide who they want to go out with.