Confusion in lust

[Scarlett O]

I'm in a rather delicate situation that I really need some input on. There is a guy that I'm in lust with that I met at college. I never actually thought of wanting to get to know him better until we slept together (only slept in the same bed nothing else happened, no kissing, no sex etc...) After that day I've seen a different side of him other than that he shows at the school. Since then he's been coming to parties and I was invited to one of his. We get to talking and we have fun together and I want to get to know him more to see if there could be a potential relationship. The thing is that I don't know how to approach it because I don't want to ruin things as they are. Now that college is done and we're not in the school situation anymore I still want to go out for a drink with him and do things together. I'm somewhat relcutant to ask because one: I'm afraid of rejection, and two: I think he already knows that I like him and if I do go about asking what if I mess things up. I really just want to know how I should go about asking him out for a drink or to just have a fun night on the town, without him thinking that I just want a relationship. I hope that someone can help!

[Tony T]

Don't try to deceive yourself or people here at the forum.

 

You are scared as hell of rejection, yet you want us to suggest a way for you to ask him out without exposing yourself to rejection. That is simply impossible.

 

Just ask him to have a drink or a bit of lunch or dinner with you. Or perhaps you could ask him out to an event in your area you think he may enjoy. He's most likely to accept. However, as you know, he will have to take this over at some point if he's interested in you. You can't be doing all the asking out...it doesn't work that way.

 

I'm really sorry. Love is all about risk. If you don't want to risk rejection, move on and meet other guys who will ask YOU out without prodding. It happens that way quite often. But if you absolutely must see this particular guy, you're going to have to take your chances. I promise you, it won't hurt all that much no matter which way it goes.

[Scarlett O]

Thanks Tony for your view. And it's totally true that I'm afraid of rejection. This might sound odd, but the thrill of the risk is making me want to do it because I'm curious as to how it will turn out, yet rejection is holding me back. But like you said, it won't kill me to ask.

Don't try to deceive yourself or people here at the forum. You are scared as hell of rejection, yet you want us to suggest a way for you to ask him out without exposing yourself to rejection. That is simply impossible. Just ask him to have a drink or a bit of lunch or dinner with you. Or perhaps you could ask him out to an event in your area you think he may enjoy. He's most likely to accept. However, as you know, he will have to take this over at some point if he's interested in you. You can't be doing all the asking out...it doesn't work that way. I'm really sorry. Love is all about risk. If you don't want to risk rejection, move on and meet other guys who will ask YOU out without prodding. It happens that way quite often. But if you absolutely must see this particular guy, you're going to have to take your chances. I promise you, it won't hurt all that much no matter which way it goes.