Lying about Age

[Eternal Sunshine]

It's interesting how wound up people seem to get about age. Like it's some special magical number.

It's the amount of times the earth's gone around the sun with you on it. Big deal.

If someone changes their profile parameters (age) to match more people, it's hardly a crime. Equating it to scams and worse is kind of silly.

 

The thing is, when you meet people in real life, they aren't walking around with a number on their head telling you their age. And you don't have a filter that auto hides them. You might actually meet them and like them, and decide the age thing is pretty irrelevant.

 

I think online needs to be more like real life. All these parameters to filter out everyone, algorithms to match on this and that...they don't really work all that well.

 

And all these people saying they would never trust someone that lies...everyone lies, every single day.

 

That's the thing that bothers me about OLD. For example, my upper age limit was set to 44. Then I met a guy at a house party that I found really attractive. After talking to him I found out that he was 47 (which didn't make him any less attractive). After that, I changed my upper age limit to 48 lol.

 

I hate how artificial OLD is.

[CryForNoOne]

IMO it is very different. Age + name define someone’s identity. Height is just visual preference, age affects every aspect of ones existence (remaining time alive, remaining fertile time, remaining time being employable...).

 

I will be disappointed if someone is shorter or heavier that what they wrote, but if they’re hiding years... I’m out.

 

So if a man listed his age as 39 to show up on more searches and on the first meet he tells you he's 41, he's an instant no because he deceived you about his identity, longevity, fertility, and employability??? Wow. Just wow... I guess your username is fitting...

[CryForNoOne]

It's interesting how wound up people seem to get about age. Like it's some special magical number.

It's the amount of times the earth's gone around the sun with you on it. Big deal.

If someone changes their profile parameters (age) to match more people, it's hardly a crime. Equating it to scams and worse is kind of silly.

 

The thing is, when you meet people in real life, they aren't walking around with a number on their head telling you their age. And you don't have a filter that auto hides them. You might actually meet them and like them, and decide the age thing is pretty irrelevant.

 

I think online needs to be more like real life. All these parameters to filter out everyone, algorithms to match on this and that...they don't really work all that well.

 

And all these people saying they would never trust someone that lies...everyone lies, every single day.

 

I guess Logan's Run was ahead of it's time. Some people really want to stamp everyone's age of their head and send them off to "renewal" when they turn 30. Geez...

 

The irony is that this close mindedness about age is kinda the reason some people feel the need to resort to lying about it. Of course age matters, but it's only one of MANY indicators as to how much longer someone will live, be fertile etc... And I reject that it is some "magic number". A man who is 31 and 170 lbs is statistically going to live MUCH longer than a man who is 29 and 300 lbs. Diet, exercise, genetics, lifestyle, personality are going to have a FAR greater impact on "age associated" traits than just age alone. It is like 15% of the equation unless you are talking about an age difference of decades, which is not what most of us are talking about. I would agree that someone who lies about their age by a decade or more is a joker, but 2 years? Seriously people...

[GunslingerRoland]

Age unfortunately is a ‘magical’ number - it gives info when someone will retire, get infertile and die. It is quite possibly the most informative number one have for themselves.

 

What age do we retire at, die at and get infertile at? I must have missed the memo when they standardized this?

 

Anyway, I get it. Filter dating is real and it sucks, and so I'd be understanding if someone lied by a couple of years on their profile if they were honest right away in person. I guess I feel like not giving exact details on a profile is different than an actual person to person lie.

[CryForNoOne]

And all these people saying they would never trust someone that lies...everyone lies, every single day.

 

I can't emphasize this point enough. There is some serious hypocrisy going on with these people if they have a zero tolerance policy about fibbing.

[elaine567]

I get the fact that no-one wants to be on the wrong side of an arbitrary cut off and thus to miss out on the love of their life by just one year on OLD... but I still think that it is a character fault to try and mislead people by giving out the wrong age.

 

Of course it goes both ways, by telling everyone you are 39 when you are really 44, you may still miss out on the love of your life...

[No_Go]

Deceiving to show up on more searches is fraud. If I can't confirm one's identity by full name+birthday sorry but I don't feel safe. The effect on remaining life span, fertility and employability are just the icing on the cake.

 

So if a man listed his age as 39 to show up on more searches and on the first meet he tells you he's 41, he's an instant no because he deceived you about his identity, longevity, fertility, and employability??? Wow. Just wow... I guess your username is fitting...

[No_Go]

Where I live (and date):

-Average life span for male - 76, female - 81

-Average retirement age: 62-65

-Average onset of menopause: 51; for men - this study gives an idea: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2566050/

 

Yep, these are averages, so what? I'm not going to play Russian roulette and hope for the best that someone will have 'good genes', when I have a clear measurable in my selection (age).

 

For OLD: depends how you strategize your searches. I personally meet guys if and only if I have screened enough to know the person matches my criteria and I see long-term potential with them. The in-person meet is just to validate that and let them evaluate me, from my end I pretty much decide if I want to be with someone before meeting up [so the parameters in the OLD profile are critical to me - they account for large portion of the pre-screen]

 

 

What age do we retire at, die at and get infertile at? I must have missed the memo when they standardized this?

 

Anyway, I get it. Filter dating is real and it sucks, and so I'd be understanding if someone lied by a couple of years on their profile if they were honest right away in person. I guess I feel like not giving exact details on a profile is different than an actual person to person lie.

[GunslingerRoland]

Where I live (and date):

-Average life span for male - 76, female - 81

-Average retirement age: 62-65

-Average onset of menopause: 51; for men - this study gives an idea: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2566050/

 

Yep, these are averages, so what? I'm not going to play Russian roulette and hope for the best that someone will have 'good genes', when I have a clear measurable in my selection (age).

 

The average person on earth also has slightly less than 2 legs, 1 testicle and 1 breast. It still doesn't tell you much about any particular person.

 

Especially not to the degree that a couple of years is going to make a difference.

[Back_Again]

I didn't meet him online, but in my own experience, lying about his age turned into him lying about many, MANY other major things. In fact, he is a pathological liar.

So while in itself it might not be a deal breaker (aka I wouldn't care if he was 2 years older or younger than he said he was), the lying itself would make me expect further lies to come.

[No_Go]

The average person on earth also has slightly less than 2 legs, 1 testicle and 1 breast. It still doesn't tell you much about any particular person.

 

Especially not to the degree that a couple of years is going to make a difference.

 

Love your averaging

 

But ok, if your logic is correct, then why not just lead with correct data?

 

I know a guy that is 5’6 but listed at 7’11 to surpass filters. Obviously this will bring him to date 1 if that and it will end there. Lying is more pathetic than any actual number.

[TheWoman]

I lied about my age when I first started online dating. I had just turned 40 and looked about 30, and wanted to be more included. So I lied at said I was 38. I had several guys say wow are you really 38, you look younger - lol lucky me. However, after a year or so I did start telling people upfront I was actually older on messages before meeting. I had a few jobsworths who got all uppity about it, funnily on both occasions they were quite a bit older and looked it. But in the end I now just post my real age, because.... I dont want to lie and I dont want to meet people who I have to lie to.

Edited November 15, 2017 by TheWoman

[GunslingerRoland]

I know a guy that is 5’6 but listed at 7’11 to surpass filters. Obviously this will bring him to date 1 if that and it will end there. Lying is more pathetic than any actual number.

 

If you're 5'6 and you say you are 7'11 you are going to look ridiculous. If you are 80 and you say you are 40 you are going to look ridiculous.

 

If you are 41 and you say you are 39 or 5'6 and you say you are 5'8, those differences are so minor it probably wouldn't effect your experience dating the person...

 

I get what you are saying about lying, but online dating brings this artificial constraint cutoff into play that wouldn't happen if you were meeting someone anywhere else..

[No_Go]

He put an absurd number (7'11) as a statement. Not that anyone will think he's that tall, this was his way to say it is unimportant.

 

Differences in age/height/weight matter. I will date someone 39 but not someone 41. I'll date someone 5'8 but not someone 5'6. Actually in both cases - I may make an exception if the overall picture is great, but NOT if the person attempts deceiving me.

 

Btw for age I'd verify it even if I meet the person offline. I honestly don't understand why numbers are considered artificial cutoff...

 

 

 

If you're 5'6 and you say you are 7'11 you are going to look ridiculous. If you are 80 and you say you are 40 you are going to look ridiculous.

 

If you are 41 and you say you are 39 or 5'6 and you say you are 5'8, those differences are so minor it probably wouldn't effect your experience dating the person...

 

I get what you are saying about lying, but online dating brings this artificial constraint cutoff into play that wouldn't happen if you were meeting someone anywhere else..

[Cookiesandough]

The sad part is if Prince Charming (perfect looks, personality, career etc) walked up to a woman on the street and he turned out to 40 instead of 39 she would not notice or care one bit. Doubtful she would think ' agh, he's 40, not 39. One year less I have with him before his sperm starts to get wonky and likelihood of genetic mutations rise . One year less until I have to start changing his Depends and spoon feeding him mush. Pass.'

 

But on OLD she might miss out on her Prince Charming entirely because of the age filter !!! Sad

Edited November 15, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[No_Go]

The sad part is if Prince Charming (perfect looks, personality, career etc) walked up to a woman on the street and he turned out to 40 instead of 39 she would not notice or care one bit. Doubtful she would think ' agh, he's 40, not 39. One year less I have with him before his sperm starts to get wonky and likelihood of genetic mutations rise . One year less until I have to start changing his Depends and spoon feeding him mush. Pass.'

 

But on OLD she might miss out on her Prince Charming entirely because of the age filter !!! Sad

 

:lmao: Seriously in OLD or on the street the thoughts are the same, at least for me. I almost find OLD a little more forgiving (first thing that crosses my mind if a person cold approaches me on the street is if he’s safe or violent offender... I have no idea how cold approaches are considered more unbiased;))

[GunslingerRoland]

Differences in age/height/weight matter. I will date someone 39 but not someone 41. I'll date someone 5'8 but not someone 5'6. Actually in both cases - I may make an exception if the overall picture is great, but NOT if the person attempts deceiving me.

 

Btw for age I'd verify it even if I meet the person offline. I honestly don't understand why numbers are considered artificial cutoff...

 

Age and height matter at some level, but it's usually not at magic even numbers.

 

If I was online dating right now at 5'11 and 40 years old, I would be really tempted to put 6 foot and 39... not to deceive anyone, but just because people are going to base their filters around numbers that are divisible by ten, or in some cases fall at the top end of a drop down choice.

 

I'm not saying you wouldn't verify age if you were offline, but would the difference between 39 and 41 matter at that point?

[olivetree]

Age and height matter at some level, but it's usually not at magic even numbers.

 

If I was online dating right now at 5'11 and 40 years old, I would be really tempted to put 6 foot and 39... not to deceive anyone, but just because people are going to base their filters around numbers that are divisible by ten, or in some cases fall at the top end of a drop down choice.

 

I'm not saying you wouldn't verify age if you were offline, but would the difference between 39 and 41 matter at that point?

 

It wouldn't, but the lying would.

[No_Go]

Is that true how people set their filters? I can only speak for myself I set usually 31-37 (I'm 33), my preferred range, and height 5'10+ (I'm 5'7). Numbers are selected around my own stats.

 

Online or offline if someone 5'9 or 30 or 38 or whatever number close to but outside of my range approaches me - yep, I'd consider him. So in that sense it doesn't matter that much, I just prefer to be informed what I'm getting into.

 

Say you're 40 but list at 39 to avoid filters. At least then put the real number in your profile bulk text.

 

Now if someone who is 40 and great messages me - I'll read his profile for sure and if all looks well, I'll reply. Same for someone shorter.

 

Age and height matter at some level, but it's usually not at magic even numbers.

 

If I was online dating right now at 5'11 and 40 years old, I would be really tempted to put 6 foot and 39... not to deceive anyone, but just because people are going to base their filters around numbers that are divisible by ten, or in some cases fall at the top end of a drop down choice.

 

I'm not saying you wouldn't verify age if you were offline, but would the difference between 39 and 41 matter at that point?

[Sara1989]

I notice it seems common place for men to lie about their height, I am not joking but I say 95% of the men I met under 5,9 lie about their heights. I think that is worse than someone lieing about their age.

[Cookiesandough]

It wouldn't, but the lying would.

 

Yup true. that's one of the(many many) things that sux about OLD.

Is that true how people set their filters? I can only speak for myself I set usually 31-37 (I'm 33), my preferred range, and height 5'10+ (I'm 5'7). Numbers are selected around my own stats.

 

Online or offline if someone 5'9 or 30 or 38 or whatever number close to but outside of my range approaches me - yep, I'd consider him. So in that sense it doesn't matter that much, I just prefer to be informed what I'm getting into.

 

Say you're 40 but list at 39 to avoid filters. At least then put the real number in your profile bulk text.

 

Now if someone who is 40 and great messages me - I'll read his profile for sure and if all looks well, I'll reply. Same for someone shorter.

I think okcupid hides you from people who are not in your selected age range. It hides them but it hides you from them too. Same for Tinder

[olivetree]

Yup true. that's one of the(many many) things that sux about OLD.

I think okcupid hides you from people who are not in your selected age range. It hides them but it hides you from them too. Same for Tinder

 

When I was on OkCupid a couple years ago, I got messages from guys outside my preferred age range.

Maybe it's changed now though.

[Cookiesandough]

Yeah I think it happened just this year. I guess it was to control the creepers lol. But you can toggle the feature it's just really hidden

[No_Go]

I notice it seems common place for men to lie about their height, I am not joking but I say 95% of the men I met under 5,9 lie about their heights. I think that is worse than someone lieing about their age.

 

Yeah and that's sad because that's the sole reason I need to restrict shorter men (if 5'9 is real 5'9 is ok, but many '5'9's are actually 2-3 inches shorter...)

[No_Go]

Yeah I think it happened just this year. I guess it was to control the creepers lol. But you can toggle the feature it's just really hidden

 

Ah learned something new here! I see younger/older on OKC by adjusting browsing but they possibly don't see me because of my set age range in my profile...