I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 A little while ago, I dated a guy who I regret dating. Thankfully I'm in a amazing relationship now, but the past haunts me, I feel stupid for dating the other guy. A little background, this guy was a felon and I gave him a chance because I thought he truly turned his life around. He acted like he was the victim in everything, that life was just unfair. When we 1st started talking he told me, but since I had rotten luck w/dating I gave him a chance. I didn't date him long because he was abusive and controlling. Thankfully I got out before it got bad. He tried to tell me he was smarter then me, accused me of talking to other guys and would tell me nice guys like him were hard to find. I beat myself up for even dating him and I have had a couple nightmares about him. I cut all contact the day I broke it off, never regretted doing that and told him I didn't want to talk to him after he contacted me a couple months ago. How do I let my past go? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Practice gratitude. Be grateful that you had the wisdom to recognize the abusive behavior and the strength to leave the relationship. Not all women are that strong - be proud of yourself. And, I'm sure that you have learned from the experience. Be grateful for what you've learned - never to repeat this experience again. No experience is ever wasted if you learn from it. And finally, be kind to yourself. None of us get through life without making mistakes... to err is human, to forgive (yourself) is devine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KimmyO Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Chalk it down as lesson learned and it helps you appreciate the great relationship you have now. Drop it into the past and speak love and forgiveness to yourself, not tearing down yourself about it. Correct your self talk when it gets negative. It's kind of like changing a habit, it takes practice. We are worse to ourselves sometimes than we would ever put up with from someone else. Be kind to you, you are a treasure! I'm just glad you can say it's over and aren't still in it like so many who feel trapped and can't leave! Also, drink Ginseng tea, it helps balance your chi and get rid of those sticky negative thought patterns. Magnesium calms the mind and body, too. Blessings! Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Chalk it down as lesson learned and it helps you appreciate the great relationship you have now. Drop it into the past and speak love and forgiveness to yourself, not tearing down yourself about it. Correct your self talk when it gets negative. It's kind of like changing a habit, it takes practice. We are worse to ourselves sometimes than we would ever put up with from someone else. Be kind to you, you are a treasure! I'm just glad you can say it's over and aren't still in it like so many who feel trapped and can't leave! Also, drink Ginseng tea, it helps balance your chi and get rid of those sticky negative thought patterns. Magnesium calms the mind and body, too. Blessings! An issue I suffer w/, I tend to dwell in past mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 We've all had bad relationships with people in the past. Recently I was with someone who I found out had a criminal past and I kicked him to the curb. I'm too old for losers like him anymore. As for you, women go through these things where we tend to take pity on the loser man and we learn quickly why this guy is a loser and why they fail at so many things in life. It took me a while to see it that they're not men, they're boys who want Mommy (a woman to take care of them) rather than a woman who can succeed and make things happen for herself. They don't want the other person to outshine their obvious shortcomings. You'll be okay. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 We all make mistakes, you should be glad you had the sense to get out early. It's a learning curve. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you are having this much difficulty over letting this go and moving on (especially when you have met someone new and I assume of a better character) then I suggest you have a few sessions with a therapist to sort this out before this behaviour gets in the way of you enjoying your life. Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 An issue I suffer w/' date=' I tend to dwell in past mistakes.[/quote'] I can relate as I am somewhat of a dweller too. I think you get to a point where you tell yourself - it is what it is or was and move on. You are in a much better place now. Bottom line - live and learn. Quit beating yourself up about it. In fact, think about it like this.....the felon is not worth thinking about. He treated you poorly. Waste of time. Loser. and move on..... Link to post Share on other sites
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