JoJo2017 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Hello all, I have been single for quite some time now (by choice) because I am introverted and really enjoy my alone time. The thought of someone invading my space gives me anxiety. I want to be in a relationship, but then I don't want to be in one and the thought of that has been stressing me out lol. I'm an overthinker. My last boyfriend was pretty understanding when it comes to giving me space. I don't know how other guys are with it. When I come home from working out or work, I don't want to do anything but be by myself and watch my shows. Sometimes I think something is wrong with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 My partner is in a similar situation to you. She is introverted and likes alone time. However, after some time dating she came to regard "alone time" as including me as she got comfortable. What you might find is that a similar thing will happen to you with the right guy. Date, enter relationships, go for it and have fun but be clear about how much space you need. Over time, as you get more comfortable with your partner you might find you won't mind him in your space if he is right for you. And eventually alone time won't feel the same without him! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 There is someone for everyone. Perhaps you can find someone who feels the same way so you both know you want/need alone time. If you do get into a serious, live together relationship, just be sure to tell him what you want. Don't think he should just know. If he's a decent guy and you say, "Nothing personal but I would like some alone time", he should be able to respect that. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 My partner is in a similar situation to you. She is introverted and likes alone time. However, after some time dating she came to regard "alone time" as including me as she got comfortable. What you might find is that a similar thing will happen to you with the right guy. Date, enter relationships, go for it and have fun but be clear about how much space you need. Over time, as you get more comfortable with your partner you might find you won't mind him in your space if he is right for you. And eventually alone time won't feel the same without him! I could have written the OP's post word for word, so I totally get it. But, I have a good friend who doesn't "100% believe me" and she thinks that I partly just have a lot of walls up from being hurt. She says she's convinced I'm gonna meet someone out of the blue, fall madly in love, and she's "gonna laugh at me." I know how much I love my alone time though, and how much I don't want to put in the effort or answer to anyone else at this point in my life. It's totally fine to need time alone and a loving partner will understand and respect that, and maybe even be that way themselves. It's also ok to not want to be partnered up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 You completely described how I feel and it makes me cry because I felt like somethings wrong with me too. No one has ever given me space. It's not often you find 2 people that like similar amount of space or even a person willing to give you a lot of space. It's very draining every time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 I give everyone space. Friends/family etc. When I have a GF. No way is she going to have me hovering over her 24/7. I think to the OP. All you have to do is arrange alone time, when your in a relationship and slowly massage a partner into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Ichthymom Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Are there reasons why you want to be in one and not want to be in one? You can still be an introvert but have a few close friends to hang out with every now and then. Or even have a one-on-one get together with a close guy friend and build a close friendship with. A good relationship sprouts from a good friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I can certainly relate to this as a guy who's always needed space. You're going to have to make a decision as to what's more important - all the space you could ever want, or the effort needed to be in a relationship and the associated loss of some of that space and privacy. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Well.. this is the internet, so it's full of introverts and we all like our own personal space. I've had differences with girlfriends in the past over this. If I'm not inquisitive or jealous enough about who they might be going out with when they see friends, in their mind it means I don't care enough. If I'm always happy for them to have their own space when they need to work or visit relatives or finish some hobby project, it's the same. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Well.. this is the internet, so it's full of introverts and we all like our own personal space. Good point . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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