I'm beginning to hate my father, is this normal?

[alec007]

-He's an alcoholic with no regards to his actions. His primary goal in life is to drink as much alcohol as possible and piss his life away.

 

- He often lets out negative statements about me, often attacks me emotionally whilst under the influence.

 

- He has put a lot of stress on my mother, who is likely to be suffering from depression, it saddens me to see her like this.

 

- He's neglected his responsibilities as a father as a result of his alcoholism, and as a result, my sister and I have zero relationships with him, we only try out of respect for our mother.

 

-Too many times we've had to pick him up from the street after he returns from work or even on his day off.

 

-He doesn't care that he's going to lose his job due to alcoholism ensuring that my mother and sister will suffer, it's sad really.

[MsJayne]

Yes, perfectly normal. Don't take his abuse to heart, it's really himself that he despises, not you, he's just dumping it on you because you're an easy target. First opportunity you get, remove yourself from the situation. Maybe try to have a conversation with your mum about the fact that he's destroying your family. I assume there's some reason she hasn't already left him, but whatever her reason for staying with him it's not your responsibility to support her in her decision to tolerate the abuse. The man you've described is self-absorbed, weak, cowardly, irresponsible, and immature - don't feel sorry for him because pity is the last thing he deserves or needs. Stay strong and don't let him bring you down. : )

[KimmyO]

Wow, that's a lot of burden on you, sadly! The only thing you can do is say a prayer for him and make sure you don't fall into the same trap. Sadly, many who hate an addiction of a parent end up still falling into that same trap. Guard yourself and make notes to remind yourself later why you hate that drinking and keep as far away from it as possible since it will have triggers from your childhood. Do not let guilt drive you further into it either, even if you did slip into it a bit. It's very probable that he grew up the same way w a parent who assaulted him verbally when they were drunk. Even tho it is good to sympathize w him it is also good to keep a safe distance from him so you don't become like him. Maybe be a voice of reason to your Mom too, letting her know of the options around her to prepare to provide for herself and live on her own since he may not be around long. She has options ,but may not be aware of them or feel like she can leave, and she might need your encouragement. <3