youngandhopeful Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 So I ended it with my ex around 6 months ago. I wasn’t in the right headspace to continue our relationship, although everything and I mean everything was great. We connect in a way I’ve never had with anyone else. Since then, we’ve never spoken, although I’ve felt stupid about letting her go. I didn’t ever message her, as I thought she’d have moved on and probably thought I was a d1ck for ending it. Randomly last Friday I was on a night out for the first time in months, and she messaged asking how I was. I short, we met up and it was like no time had passed. We still have the same amazing chemistry, and I’m now in the position where I know she’s the one I want. Problem - she’s been dating a guy for around 8-10weeks (so qute fresh). Extra issue, she used to date him around 6yrs age before he moved to Australia (‘ow he is back). They broke up in bad terms (he cheated), but now wants her to give him a chance and she said she would. Basically, now I’m in limbo, the girl I want (but stupidly let go) is openly struggling to choose which guy. We’ve had very open conversations about it since Friday. We’ve done nothing but a kiss on the Friday night, as neither of us want to put her in a worse situation. I’ve made my feelings clear, I just don’t know what I can do? To be honest I’m fairly certain there isn’t anything ha. It’s her call, and I want her to make the best decision for herself. All I would say is that from talking to her, she doesn’t have the same connection with him as she does me. Seems like she’s only clinging on to him because she said she’d give him a chance. Which if he’s not the right guy, then for me, who cares what she said, circumstances have changed, no? Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Balls in her court. You've had an open discussion and kissed so now let her decide. Link to post Share on other sites
kortz Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Yep as Kassy said, balls totally in her court. Whatever she comes back with you need to totally accept and respect, even if it's that she doesn't want to get back with you. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngandhopeful Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Yeah I’m pretty aligned to that thought to be honest. Certainly tough to sit and wait, but I’ve got no real justified reason to have any say in the matter haha. She’s opened up a lot about everything, about him, about me, and my gut says they don’t have the same connection at all. Clearly she cares for both of us, and doesn’t want to hurt anybody. I think her main sticking point is that he’s begged for a change and she agreed (before I put a spanner in the works). She’s said herself, why couldn’t I have contacted her sooner? The timing is all wrong. This screams to me like she wants us, not him. I don’t envy her position though, she’s clearly having a tough time, and I’m trying my best to be supportive where I can. I can’t be 100% unbiased, but I’m certainly not giving her grief about the guy or dissing their current relationship. Just telling her what I can offer us, and reminding her how good we are together. Like you say, balls in her court *sad face* Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 So what was in your head space to dump this perfect women? Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 So lemme see here, your ex is in a relationship for 2 1/2 months with another man, yet she texts you, meets up and kisses you, showing she has no problems with cheating (on him). Disgusting. I would run fast and far from this morally bereft opportunist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 I don't like the fact that she contacted and met up with you while she is in another relationship. So let's say she decides to come back to you. Months down the road she starts wondering about the ex again and contacts him. You don't think there's a very good chance that happens? She's doing it right now. I'll tell you one thing for certain. You need to have other options right now and cannot be waiting for her or giving off the impression that you are. Start dating someone new, be open to a new relationship and then see if she makes a decision. As long as she knows you are waiting, she can take her time and see how things go with the ex and have you as the fall back plan. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngandhopeful Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 She was out with a friend, and I came up in conversation. Apparently when she spoke about me, she was grinning ear to ear. Her friend said there's still chemistry there, you should contact him. It was just a coincidence i was around and could meet up with her. Call me stupid, but I took that as a sign of fate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngandhopeful Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 I suppose it's hard to convey someones character and personality in text, but it really isn't in her makeup to cheat at all. That's what I do know. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 I suppose it's hard to convey someones character and personality in text, but it really isn't in her makeup to cheat at all. That's what I do know. Hahaha, riiiiight. She just showed you it is completely in her character, but go ahead and keep believing otherwise. If it weren't in her character she would not have texted you to begin with, respecting the guy she's dating. Further, she wouldn't have kissed you by any means. If she was of upstanding character she would have realized her heart wasn't in it with the current guy, told him she was having feelings for her ex, then broken it off with him BEFORE she ever contacted you. She's a liar and a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngandhopeful Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 I don't like the fact that she contacted and met up with you while she is in another relationship. So let's say she decides to come back to you. Months down the road she starts wondering about the ex again and contacts him. You don't think there's a very good chance that happens? She's doing it right now. I'll tell you one thing for certain. You need to have other options right now and cannot be waiting for her or giving off the impression that you are. Start dating someone new, be open to a new relationship and then see if she makes a decision. As long as she knows you are waiting, she can take her time and see how things go with the ex and have you as the fall back plan. Hahaha, riiiiight. She just showed you it is completely in her character, but go ahead and keep believing otherwise. If it weren't in her character she would not have texted you to begin with, respecting the guy she's dating. Further, she wouldn't have kissed you by any means. If she was of upstanding character she would have realized her heart wasn't in it with the current guy, told him she was having feelings for her ex, then broken it off with him BEFORE she ever contacted you. She's a liar and a cheater. Thanks for your input Link to post Share on other sites
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