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How often to text someone after two dates?


ExposedBrick

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I recently went on two good but relatively short dates with a great lady. Unfortunately, she is going out of town for about two weeks now. I’m always very confused about proper texting etiquette. I don’t want to seem desperate or clingy but I also don’t want to come off disinterested. I prefer to get to know people more in person initially, but I feel like I’ve dropped the ball in this area before.

 

My questions: How often to text her? What should I text her about?

 

(I’m not a fan of the “How’s your day?” type texts especially when we are still nearly strangers)

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I would not text every day. Check in every few days and keep things interesting. Definitely stay away from the how is you day, good nights texts. I find the best is to spontaneously reach out to them when something during the course of my day reminds me of a conversation we had. Ex. If we joked about something, it's playful to keep it going as a recurring theme...

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This stuff gets overanalyzed way too much. Just text her every few days or so. And there’s nothing wrong with how is your day text, it’s perfectly fine. It’s always good to throw some humor in if you can, but she’ll just be happy to hear from you. Just don’t make it seem like you have nothing better to do. If a girl likes you, she’s going to respond to whatever you text. If texting becomes boring and difficult I’ve found it usually just because you don’t have good chemistry with the person in general and it’s just a physical thing.

Edited by Grey40
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Just be yourself. If you fake it you're going to screw up somewhere down the line anyway. Sooner better than later.

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because she is going away & it's only been 2 dates you initiate texts twice: once before she leaves to say have a safe trip & once shortly before she gets home asking her to get in touch once she has settled back in.

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My questions: How often to text her? What should I text her about?

 

(I’m not a fan of the “How’s your day?” type texts especially when we are still nearly strangers)

 

What do you want to text her about?

 

I think a text every few days would be fine considering you prefer to interact in person. I think you should do what is comfortable for you, whilst gauging her response to determine what she is comfortable with and whether she initiates text as well. What about sending a photo or brief text about something that you spoke about on your date or something that made you think of her.?

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actually now that I think about it you shouldn't be texting her at all, you should be calling her and having a conversation

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Never? Is texting something that's mandatory or something?

 

I think so. OP mentioned not wanting to come across as not interested. A text here and there shows interest given that it will be 2 weeks minimum before they next catch up. Unless, as alpha said, he calls her. I would keep the call pretty short though given that you want to get to know her face to face. Or you could just say, stuff it, and go with whatever feels right.

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Here's a thought....how about you ask her. I find that asking people about their preferences is far better than guessing.

 

"Hey, how do you feel about texting? Are you much of a texter?"

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