Had a fantastic date, is this okay to send the following day?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

That was in response to me saying "Still can't believe you got a strike in bowling.." as she told me she was terrible at it.

 

Oh that's right .

 

Glad she texted back and you have something to look forward to!

[amazonrambo]

Oh that's right .

 

Glad she texted back and you have something to look forward to!

 

Now I just have to wait hours for a response now Not sure if it's her playing hard to get or she's dating others, but as long as there's dates to be had then I don't care. I'll keep my options open as well.

 

One problem I do have is that I searched her on Facebook before we had our date. She only has around 250 friends on there, but she has my ex from two months ago on there. My ex has liked one of her profile pictures too, but I don't think they're close friends as I met my ex's close friends and her name never came up. They both have the same occupation of teaching though. I only went out with my ex for three months, so nothing too serious.

 

Now the main problem I have, is that I went back to July on my Facebook to view the "life event" where me and my ex got into a relationship, and I noticed this girl I went on a date with liked that relationship status at the time...

 

I've not changed my picture since and I have a very unusual name, so I'm not really someone you forget.

 

It never came up on the date so either she didn't care or did forget. She asked me when my last relationship was so I was honest and said a couple of months ago but it ended before it got serious.

 

I'm assuming she doesn't care if she was all over me like that on the date.

Edited November 19, 2017 by amazonrambo

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Now I just have to wait hours for a response now Not sure if it's her playing hard to get or she's dating others, but as long as there's dates to be had then I don't care. I'll keep my options open as well.

 

One problem I do have is that I searched her on Facebook before we had our date. She only has around 250 friends on there, but she has my ex from two months ago on there. My ex has liked one of her profile pictures too, but I don't think they're close friends as I met my ex's close friends and her name never came up. They both have the same occupation of teaching though. I only went out with my ex for three months, so nothing too serious.

 

Now the main problem I have, is that I went back to July on my Facebook to view the "life event" where me and my ex got into a relationship, and I noticed this girl I went on a date with liked that relationship status at the time...

 

I've not changed my picture since and I have a very unusual name, so I'm not really someone you forget.

 

It never came up on the date so either she didn't care or did forget. She asked me when my last relationship was so I was honest and said a couple of months ago but it ended before it got serious.

 

I'm assuming she doesn't care if she was all over me like that on the date.

 

Well she either hasn't stalked you yet/realized who you are, or she doesn't care. She probably doesn't care. Maybe the two of them only know each other through teaching or something.

 

It's bound to happen. Back when I was OLD, I "observed" some of my single friends being FB friends with men I'd corresponded with via OLD. One is actually engaged to one of those men now.

[amazonrambo]

Well she either hasn't stalked you yet/realized who you are, or she doesn't care. She probably doesn't care. Maybe the two of them only know each other through teaching or something.

 

It's bound to happen. Back when I was OLD, I "observed" some of my single friends being FB friends with men I'd corresponded with via OLD. One is actually engaged to one of those men now.

 

Sent the text four hours ago, so for her, that's probably still too soon for her to reply but what if I don't get response from her today? Just drop it and leave it or get back in touch in a few days? I'll be focusing on other things for now.

 

If the worst case scenario happens, will be annoying how well that date went to be then dropped just like that, but guess that's life and my luck with dating And I'd guess that she just really wasn't into me and I was seeing things lol

Edited November 19, 2017 by amazonrambo

[Cookiesandough]

If you don't get a reply I would just drop it and move on. Hopefully you do though

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Sent the text four hours ago, so for her, that's probably still too soon for her to reply but what if I don't get response from her today? Just drop it and leave it or get back in touch in a few days? I'll be focusing on other things for now.

 

If the worst case scenario happens, will be annoying how well that date went to be then dropped just like that, but guess that's life and my luck with dating And I'd guess that she just really wasn't into me and I was seeing things lol

 

Stop obsessing about the texting times. She's already accepted a second date! She sounds like a smart woman, not texting back immediately, and if she knew how much you were analyzing all of that, it would probably be a huge turnoff after a first date.

[amazonrambo]

If you don't get a reply I would just drop it and move on. Hopefully you do though

 

Yeah I'd guess she'd reach out to me if she was actually interested. Not sure what more I can do in regards to dating. Met all sorts, been rejected every time and finally meet someone I click with a whole lot

 

There was part of the date that worried me when we were at the bar. I think she was teasing me for being sexist at one point. In context, we played 20 questions to guess her surname and she did the same to me to guess my pet's name. One of my clues was that it was named after an action movie, but after she guessed it I said that I wasn't sure she'd have seen it. In a joking way she was like "Oh so girls can't watch action movies? That's sexist!" but she didn't sound serious when saying it. I said I wasn't trying to sound sexist, so I joked and said "Have you seen that movie?" she said she hadn't and I said "there you go!" and she seemed to laugh.

 

She also made an unusual statement at the bar too saying "I seem to be making you laugh more than you're making me laugh", so a minute later when she laughed at what I said, I told her "See, I just made you laugh", then she joked and said that she was laughing at me not with me.

 

I'm figuring she was testing my confidence there. Not sure if I passed but I'm assuming I won't if I end up getting no response. Ah well

 

Why do I always overthink

[amazonrambo]

Stop obsessing about the texting times. She's already accepted a second date! She sounds like a smart woman, not texting back immediately, and if she knew how much you were analyzing all of that, it would probably be a huge turnoff after a first date.

 

True, this is why I vent on here instead. You guys offer good advice to calm me down.

 

If I get no reply, maybe I'll give it one more shot in a few days time but maybe better to leave it. Unfortunately with OLD she'll have many other options who could be better than me, as she is a very good lucking girl.

 

She did say on our date she was fed up on going on so many first dates too.

[amazonrambo]

Nearly 8 hours later and no confirmation on this date or reply to my text. Says she's online now on POF so I'm going to take the hint and assume she just wasn't interested

 

It sucks because she showed every sign in the book she was interested and attracted on the date. Fed up of not being able to get past 1-2 dates with a girl.

 

Rather just be told that she wasn't feeling it so it makes it easier instead of being left to guess. Maybe she just liked the attention. Anyway, I'm done and moving on. Thank you for your advice guys, it's been helpful.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Nearly 8 hours later and no confirmation on this date or reply to my text. Says she's online now on POF so I'm going to take the hint and assume she just wasn't interested

 

It sucks because she showed every sign in the book she was interested and attracted on the date. Fed up of not being able to get past 1-2 dates with a girl.

 

Rather just be told that she wasn't feeling it so it makes it easier instead of being left to guess. Maybe she just liked the attention. Anyway, I'm done and moving on. Thank you for your advice guys, it's been helpful.

 

She might be multi-dating. Maybe you should too.

[Highndry]

Turns out I got a text last night but I was out myself. I replied this morning.

 

She said “Yeah it was really fun I am so proud of myself to be honest. I think I'm free next Saturday if that suits you x”

 

I replied “Yeah, I’m free Saturday. Meet you outside that tram stop I dropped you off at for 6pm? x”

 

Nearly 8 hours later and no confirmation on this date or reply to my text. Says she's online now on POF so I'm going to take the hint and assume she just wasn't interested

 

It sucks because she showed every sign in the book she was interested and attracted on the date. Fed up of not being able to get past 1-2 dates with a girl.

 

Rather just be told that she wasn't feeling it so it makes it easier instead of being left to guess. Maybe she just liked the attention. Anyway, I'm done and moving on. Thank you for your advice guys, it's been helpful.

 

I think you need to relax a little. After one date you can't expect her to forget ever looking at other guys and throw herself into your boat completely, she's still fishing to make sure she does what's best for her.

 

Why are you cyber stalking her and focusing on the fact she's online rather than the fact that she said "I'm free Saturday?"

 

I also note she texted you last night but you never responded until this morning, yet when she's slow to respond it's a problem? You are acting insecurely and have a double standard.

[introverted1]

OP, she suggested a day for the next day and you accepted. She may not think it's necessary to confirm the specific time/spot where you'll meet this far in advance. I would just sit back and see how this unfolds.

 

Good luck!

[amazonrambo]

She might be multi-dating. Maybe you should too.

 

I am talking to someone else and I expect she'd be multi-dating if she's still on there. My problem is why tell me she's free on Saturday when I ask her what day she's next free, then I say "Yeah I'm free Saturday. Meet outside the tram stop where I dropped you off for 6pm?" and then not give me a response? I'd rather have just been told an excuse like "i'm busy this week" or that she didn't feel a spark.

 

I know during the end of the date, before we kissed, she said in a jokey way about some slight criticism she'd give me about the date, that we did a lot of walking and she was in high heels (however she knew we was going bowling so no idea why she came in them).

[amazonrambo]

I think you need to relax a little. After one date you can't expect her to forget ever looking at other guys and throw herself into your boat completely, she's still fishing to make sure she does what's best for her.

 

Why are you cyber stalking her and focusing on the fact she's online rather than the fact that she said "I'm free Saturday?"

 

I also note she texted you last night but you never responded until this morning, yet when she's slow to respond it's a problem? You are acting insecurely and have a double standard.

 

That's cool, I get that. It's only one date and we're both free to date other people. But my point is I don't get why she suggested Saturday, then ignored me when I suggested 6pm and a location.

 

I just saw her online on POF when I logged in, so it was kind of in my face.

 

She texted late last night and I didn't see it until this morning so I replied then. She's taken full days to reply to me before.

 

Yeah I should be focusing on the fact that she suggested she's free Saturday, but I asked if 6pm to meet outside the tram stop would be okay as a question and got no reply. I just thought questions were there to be answered.

 

Not sure whether to leave it a couple of days and ask if we're still going ahead with Saturday otherwise I'll make plans if you're busy, etc.

[amazonrambo]

OP, she suggested a day for the next day and you accepted. She may not think it's necessary to confirm the specific time/spot where you'll meet this far in advance. I would just sit back and see how this unfolds.

 

Good luck!

 

We did for the first date. She then asked on the day where we were meeting. I asked her if 6pm at said location would be okay as a question, just would have been nice to have an answer to confirm and be done with it. Doesn't take much to text someone.

[Highndry]

That's cool, I get that. It's only one date and we're both free to date other people. But my point is I don't get why she suggested Saturday, then ignored me when I suggested 6pm and a location.

 

I just saw her online on POF when I logged in, so it was kind of in my face.

 

She texted late last night and I didn't see it until this morning so I replied then. She's taken full days to reply to me before.

 

Yeah I should be focusing on the fact that she suggested she's free Saturday, but I asked if 6pm to meet outside the tram stop would be okay as a question and got no reply. I just thought questions were there to be answered.

 

Not sure whether to leave it a couple of days and ask if we're still going ahead with Saturday otherwise I'll make plans if you're busy, etc.

 

You know what you need to do? Relax. Because how you're acting right now would be really unattractive to women. Go do something for the day and be happy when she texts you back, which I am sure she will.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

That's cool, I get that. It's only one date and we're both free to date other people. But my point is I don't get why she suggested Saturday, then ignored me when I suggested 6pm and a location.

 

I just saw her online on POF when I logged in, so it was kind of in my face.

 

She texted late last night and I didn't see it until this morning so I replied then. She's taken full days to reply to me before.

 

Yeah I should be focusing on the fact that she suggested she's free Saturday, but I asked if 6pm to meet outside the tram stop would be okay as a question and got no reply. I just thought questions were there to be answered.

 

Not sure whether to leave it a couple of days and ask if we're still going ahead with Saturday otherwise I'll make plans if you're busy, etc.

 

You logged on to POF, too.

 

Maybe she had new messages she wanted to read. Do you expect her to delete her account and not read any messages after one date? Or is the issue that he "has her phone in her hand so she obviously saw my message?" You already said she takes a while to respond so it's not like her texting pattern has changed. She probably KNOWS from experience that if you text back right away and often the guy on the other end things you're hot and heavy to start something and just keeps on texting.

 

I'm guessing you're not in the U.S. from your use of the word "surname," is this correct? I only ask because this coming weekend is Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. so IF you guys are American, it's possible she has family/friends coming in from out of town for the holiday and doesn't know plans yet.

[amazonrambo]

You know what you need to do? Relax. Because how you're acting right now would be really unattractive to women. Go do something for the day and be happy when she texts you back, which I am sure she will.

 

Any chance she could be just playing hard to get or testing to see if I act annoyed towards her? Pre-date she sometimes took a whole day to reply and when I sent something Wednesday evening, I didn't get a response until Friday morning (day of date). Even a simple "okay :)" would be cool, but it just feels like if she replies, she has to commit to it.

 

This is why I worried when she said "I think I'm free Saturday if it works for you". She thinks = unsure/waiting for something better to come up, that's what it sounded like to me.

 

Anyway, her loss if not. Guess it's just months of frustration getting rejected, having my hopes shot down.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Any chance she could be just playing hard to get or testing to see if I act annoyed towards her? Pre-date she sometimes took a whole day to reply and when I sent something Wednesday evening, I didn't get a response until Friday morning (day of date). Even a simple "okay :)" would be cool, but it just feels like if she replies, she has to commit to it.

 

This is why I worried when she said "I think I'm free Saturday if it works for you". She thinks = unsure/waiting for something better to come up, that's what it sounded like to me.

 

Anyway, her loss if not. Guess it's just months of frustration getting rejected, having my hopes shot down.

 

And if she replies "okay" you know she's RIGHT THERE, available, on her phone and if you text her right back she might be feeling like you expect her to reply immediately and some people just don't like that. She's setting boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that.

[amazonrambo]

You logged on to POF, too.

 

Maybe she had new messages she wanted to read. Do you expect her to delete her account and not read any messages after one date? Or is the issue that he "has her phone in her hand so she obviously saw my message?" You already said she takes a while to respond so it's not like her texting pattern has changed. She probably KNOWS from experience that if you text back right away and often the guy on the other end things you're hot and heavy to start something and just keeps on texting.

 

I'm guessing you're not in the U.S. from your use of the word "surname," is this correct? I only ask because this coming weekend is Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. so IF you guys are American, it's possible she has family/friends coming in from out of town for the holiday and doesn't know plans yet.

 

No, no, that's not my point. She's free to date whoever she wants, as am I. We've just been on one date.

 

My point is that she has time to login and check these messages, but she doesn't have time to send a simple text to me agreeing to 6pm on Saturday. I don't expect to be top on her priority list, but it's not hard to reply "Okay" which takes seconds.

 

Maybe it's like you said that if she texts right away she'll be engaged in conversation or just playing hard to get, like I did at the end of our date. At the end of kissing I said "that's all you're getting for now" with a smile.

 

I'm from the UK, so I know this won't be an issue.

[Highndry]

Any chance she could be just playing hard to get or testing to see if I act annoyed towards her? Pre-date she sometimes took a whole day to reply and when I sent something Wednesday evening, I didn't get a response until Friday morning (day of date). Even a simple "okay :)" would be cool, but it just feels like if she replies, she has to commit to it.

 

This is why I worried when she said "I think I'm free Saturday if it works for you". She thinks = unsure/waiting for something better to come up, that's what it sounded like to me.

 

Anyway, her loss if not. Guess it's just months of frustration getting rejected, having my hopes shot down.

 

I'm sure she doesn't want to come off as too eager or desperate. She could be squirming inside with excitement but she's not going to show you that.

 

The only thing I've seen that you posted which I did not like was where she was telling you what you did wrong on the date. That is a HUGE red flag to me. No woman should ever be critical of a man on the first date. My ex said a few things early on that I didn't pick up on, but in hindsight they were clues to her disrespectful nature.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I'm sure she doesn't want to come off as too eager or desperate. She could be squirming inside with excitement but she's not going to show you that.

 

The only thing I've seen that you posted which I did not like was where she was telling you what you did wrong on the date. That is a HUGE red flag to me. No woman should ever be critical of a man on the first date. My ex said a few things early on that I didn't pick up on, but in hindsight they were clues to her disrespectful nature.

 

I agree. I didn't like how she said she was making him laugh more than he was her, or something like that. Seems a bit rude. Unless she was being self deprecating and meant, "I'm screwing up more and making you laugh at me than vice versa...."

[amazonrambo]

And if she replies "okay" you know she's RIGHT THERE, available, on her phone and if you text her right back she might be feeling like you expect her to reply immediately and some people just don't like that. She's setting boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

But does that mean I have to ditch off other plans until I hear back from her? I'd rather just know if Saturday isn't good, then I can make other plans on that day.

[amazonrambo]

I'm sure she doesn't want to come off as too eager or desperate. She could be squirming inside with excitement but she's not going to show you that.

 

The only thing I've seen that you posted which I did not like was where she was telling you what you did wrong on the date. That is a HUGE red flag to me. No woman should ever be critical of a man on the first date. My ex said a few things early on that I didn't pick up on, but in hindsight they were clues to her disrespectful nature.

 

She didn't say it in an annoying or offensive way, she had a playful expression when saying it. She said it like "If I'm going to give feedback about this date, you do a lot of walking" or something similar. She did sound jokey as she said this though, so I don't know if that put her off.

 

Is there a possibility she's just playing hard to get because I did? Like I said on the other page, after kissing I told her "that's all you're getting for now" and she slapped my chest saying "Oh ha ha.." so wondering whether she's trying to do the same.

 

But yeah, maybe she doesn't want to appear desperate. She sucked my face off and was all over me at the end of the date, she could be trying to over compensate and not act too keen. She told me about her worst dates, guy trying to walk her home then dropping his pants, etc. There were other stories too, so maybe she could be testing me to see if I'm normal.

[amazonrambo]

I agree. I didn't like how she said she was making him laugh more than he was her, or something like that. Seems a bit rude. Unless she was being self deprecating and meant, "I'm screwing up more and making you laugh at me than vice versa...."

 

At the time I thought that was a little worrying, like she was trying to say the date wasn't going well but she said this in what felt like a teasing/joking tone. She laughed more than me the whole night. After she said that and I made her laugh and said "Well I just made you laugh then!" and she laughed and said "Oh I was laughing at you not with you". I felt like it was playful banter at the time.

 

Maybe she was testing my confidence to see if I would get offended? I showed my confidence by stopping her randomly and going for the kiss, maybe she wanted to make sure that wasn't all an act.