Had a fantastic date, is this okay to send the following day?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Hmm ... based on what I’m reading I don’t think this is going real well

Women today are just odd

 

Why do you say this?

[mortensorchid]

I'm sorry for whatever reason this isn't going to happen. But just put a notch on your belt and move on.

[Highndry]

I sent her the text at 4pm “You’ll never guess what I’ve been up to this week! See you tomorrow x” and it’s now nearly 11pm with no reply.

 

We both agreed on the day, time and place four days ago. Do I just turn up if no reply? I don’t want to ask if we’re still on because it looks like a lack of confidence. My gut is telling me to turn up because I should be confident she’ll turn up to see me and that if she is interested she’ll remember our arranged plan. She originally asked over text if Friday was better and I replied with a phone call and we arranged it then last Sunday

 

Bad move. She may let this contrived nonsense slide once, but twice? I have my doubts. Time to get real, and lose the phony shtick.

[amazonrambo]

Well that sucks, thought it was an okay text to send. Wanted to keep some mystery about what I’d done this week.

 

Is it worth just me turning up at 6 or should I phone her before setting off? I’d have assumed she was the decent type to at least warn me the date wasn’t going ahead. Still 11 hours to go from this point, so who knows.

Edited November 24, 2017 by amazonrambo

[amazonrambo]

That text sounds scripted.

Same with that other text you wanted to send another date about how unbelievable your weekend was that included broken hearts or chocolate ice cream or something.

I would cancel the date if I received that text lol.

 

Well I guess it was bad. I wasn’t trying to sound scripted.

 

I’m guessing she won’t turn up if you’d be willing to cancel a date because of it.

 

Not sure whether to just arrive there and phone her if she doesn’t turn up, or phone her an hour before turning up so I can take someone else.

 

I have a booking I paid £40 for to pre-book an escape room. I can’t cancel without losing the fee unfortunately.

[GemmaUK]

This is a LOT of analysing!

 

The last text you sent didn't ask a question so no reply needed IMO.

 

I dunno, she kinda implied she wasn't having that great a date - which you said yourself.

She also asked about what the next 'mystery' date was and it turns out it's an escape room thing. Did you actually aske her what she would like to do or just book it?

It could be that it's just not her type of thing.

The way she said 'another mystery date' or words to that effect makes me think she either didn't know you were doing an activity or eating for that matter as she had already eaten prior to date #1 but also had no idea how far you'd be walking. She turned up in high heels without even a spare pair of comfy shoes for walking in.

 

I'd be not so keen I think and totally unsure what was appropriate to wear or eat before meeting you (if she should even eat at all?

Have you told her all about the escape room, how long of a thing it is, how far a walk it is? Have you discussed eating arrangements if there are any?

Does she need to wear something comfy for the escape room and maybe need a change of clothes for dinner if you're eating and going somewhere nice? Might the escape room involve getting sweating or immersed in water/mud/foam?

Just things to consider and be considerate about - forewarned is forearmed after all.

 

Plus she is a slow texter also - which you already know - but you do know she will pick up a call.... Why don't you call her?

[amazonrambo]

This is a LOT of analysing!

 

The last text you sent didn't ask a question so no reply needed IMO.

 

I dunno, she kinda implied she wasn't having that great a date - which you said yourself.

She also asked about what the next 'mystery' date was and it turns out it's an escape room thing. Did you actually aske her what she would like to do or just book it?

It could be that it's just not her type of thing.

The way she said 'another mystery date' or words to that effect makes me think she either didn't know you were doing an activity or eating for that matter as she had already eaten prior to date #1 but also had no idea how far you'd be walking. She turned up in high heels without even a spare pair of comfy shoes for walking in.

 

I'd be not so keen I think and totally unsure what was appropriate to wear or eat before meeting you (if she should even eat at all?

Have you told her all about the escape room, how long of a thing it is, how far a walk it is? Have you discussed eating arrangements if there are any?

Does she need to wear something comfy for the escape room and maybe need a change of clothes for dinner if you're eating and going somewhere nice? Might the escape room involve getting sweating or immersed in water/mud/foam?

Just things to consider and be considerate about - forewarned is forearmed after all.

 

Plus she is a slow texter also - which you already know - but you do know she will pick up a call.... Why don't you call her?

 

She never implied it wasn’t a great date. She said she really enjoyed it over text and she was all over me in person, showed every positive sign you could think of which is what’s baffling me!

 

We spoke about escape rooms in general conversation on the date and she spoke with enthusiasm and said she enjoyed them. I took that as a hint.

 

After she sent that text about the “mystery date”, I phoned her and she seemed upbeat and happy. I told her I had booked an escape room for us and she was like “awww cool!” and seemed excited about it.

 

She knew we were going bowling on our last date but she turned up in high heels so I was a little confused myself.

 

She picked up my call on Sunday as I accidentally had “no called ID” on so she wasn’t sure who I was at first, but we confirmed the date for Friday 6pm and she was happy about the choice of activity, i.e. escape room. But we’ve had no contact since.

 

Should I phone her an hour before getting there to confirm or just turn up and assume?

Edited November 24, 2017 by amazonrambo

[Teknoe]

No use contacting her now to confirm if you guys are still on. Just show up. Odds are she'll text you at least a few hours before to confirm or give some excuse.

 

Worst comes to worst, you show up, she stands you up and you move on forever. It would be a pretty crappy move on her part to stand you up, especially considering this is a second date and not a first date. I mean it's bad enough flaking on a first date but a second date? That's pretty low.

 

Good luck. Try to chill.

[Purepony]

Why do you say this?

 

I say this because I see more and more women who can’t seem to be straightforward. I mean look how this scenario has snowballed

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Well that sucks, thought it was an okay text to send. Wanted to keep some mystery about what I’d done this week.

Is it worth just me turning up at 6 or should I phone her before setting off? I’d have assumed she was the decent type to at least warn me the date wasn’t going ahead. Still 11 hours to go from this point, so who knows.

 

I'm curious, what DID you do this week? What are you excited to tell her about?

 

I think either showing up at 6 OR calling her an hour before is fine. But, what would you do if she doesn't answer?

[olivetree]

Well I guess it was bad. I wasn’t trying to sound scripted.

 

I’m guessing she won’t turn up if you’d be willing to cancel a date because of it.

 

Not sure whether to just arrive there and phone her if she doesn’t turn up, or phone her an hour before turning up so I can take someone else.

 

I have a booking I paid £40 for to pre-book an escape room. I can’t cancel without losing the fee unfortunately.

 

 

Sorry, I hope I didn't make you feel too bad.

You sound like a nice guy.

I just seems like you're trying a bit too hard, which tends to push others away.

Relax and be confident that the right girl will like you for you.

 

I like the escape room date idea btw.

[amazonrambo]

I'm curious, what DID you do this week? What are you excited to tell her about?

 

I think either showing up at 6 OR calling her an hour before is fine. But, what would you do if she doesn't answer?

 

I discovered this cool snowboarding place that opened just outside the city, so I was going to talk about that, tried something new, exciting and out of my depth.

 

I have a plan B and a friend who has a place in the city who luckily doesn’t have plans tonight, so if she doesn’t turn up it’ll take him 10-15 minutes. I’ve offered him a couple of drinks at the weekend for helping me haha.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I discovered this cool snowboarding place that opened just outside the city, so I was going to talk about that, tried something new, exciting and out of my depth.

 

I have a plan B and a friend who has a place in the city who luckily doesn’t have plans tonight, so if she doesn’t turn up it’ll take him 10-15 minutes. I’ve offered him a couple of drinks at the weekend for helping me haha.

 

That's good about the plan B, but I think she will show!

[amazonrambo]

That's good about the plan B, but I think she will show!

 

Step right up, step right up, place yer bets!

 

Honestly I’m feeling pessimistic and that she’ll be a no show.

 

I know she’s a poor texter but something feels off. Maybe I’m used to girls reaching out to me or confirming the date on the day so it’s thrown me off a little. We’ll see anyway, but I’m not expecting anything and that’s probably for the best tonight.

 

Least my night won’t be totally wrecked. I’ll update later but you’ll probably know what’s coming.

[Purepony]

I hope she shows up and I wish you both a great time !!

[Highndry]

Step right up, step right up, place yer bets!

 

Honestly I’m feeling pessimistic and that she’ll be a no show.

 

I know she’s a poor texter but something feels off. Maybe I’m used to girls reaching out to me or confirming the date on the day so it’s thrown me off a little. We’ll see anyway, but I’m not expecting anything and that’s probably for the best tonight.

 

Least my night won’t be totally wrecked. I’ll update later but you’ll probably know what’s coming.

 

Something feels off because it IS off. Trust your gut. And from this point going forward, just be yourself. Those texts aren't genuine, they're a contrived attempt to raise attraction, but a poor one at that.

[Space Ritual]

Nobody and I mean NOBODY is worth tying yourself up in knots over a second date.

 

Just operate under the assumption that there will be no second date and move forward. Choosing to do the Dance in this manner will leave you crestfallen every time. It is because what your expectations are run counter to the reality of the situation.

 

She would not ever have to test you. You re revealing yourself as UBER insecure. And she probably picked up on it this week if she hadn't already.

 

You are wasting your time on someone that has zero interest in reciprocating your exuberance other than pleasantries.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

How'd the date go, AR?

[GemmaUK]

She never implied it wasn’t a great date.

 

Sorry, I thought you said she had criticised the date at some point. I'm not going to read back through all the posts to see if I can find it.

Maybe I got it mixed up with a different thread.

 

We spoke about escape rooms in general conversation on the date and she spoke with enthusiasm and said she enjoyed them. I took that as a hint.

 

After she sent that text about the “mystery date”, I phoned her and she seemed upbeat and happy. I told her I had booked an escape room for us and she was like “awww cool!” and seemed excited about it.

 

She knew we were going bowling on our last date but she turned up in high heels so I was a little confused myself.

 

She picked up my call on Sunday as I accidentally had “no called ID” on so she wasn’t sure who I was at first, but we confirmed the date for Friday 6pm and she was happy about the choice of activity, i.e. escape room. But we’ve had no contact since.

 

Should I phone her an hour before getting there to confirm or just turn up and assume?

 

Did you ask her why she called it 'mystery' date/s?

It seems weird if you had given her all the info about what you were doing, where you were going, distances and walking involved etc

 

About the heels and walking thing, I was thinking - if me and a friend went off to do something where I knew there would be more than maybe 10 minutes relaxed walking and my friend had heels on I'd opt for a cab rather than make her walk. But then I know how uncomfy heels can be. Might be worth a thought for the future.

 

Whether she showed or not I hope you enjoyed the escape room - I notice you had a plan B.

[amazonrambo]

Hey guys, thanks for your feedback.

 

She ended up texting me an hour and a half before with “I don't think you would tell me even if I guessed! Are we meeting at 6? X”

 

I said I’d be running late by 15 minutes but I waited 20 until she arrived. She warned me she was going to be late and said “I got stuff in traffic on the way to the tram so I'm just waiting for one. I promise I'm not always late x”. I replied with “Haha no problem, I’ll let you make it up to me x”.

 

The date went really well again, a lot of chemistry from the start. We just kept replying to each other’s comments with banter, it felt so easy. She mentioned how her ankles were bloody and sore from last time so I apologised and said we’d be walking straight to the locations.

 

As we sat down in the waiting area she was sat right against me with her arm resting on my leg. In the escape room, she initiated a lot of touching on my arm and shoulder. She was sat in some chair working out a puzzle so I jokingly tried to pull her out of the chair and she said “Did you try to pull me out of the chair?”. I said “Yes” and laughed. She found it amusing too, all felt natural.

 

As we were walking to the restaurant, we bantered again. She mentioned constructive criticism in a joking way again and told me there’s one thing I’m definitely good at and that’s walking a lot. So I said, there’s another thing I’m also good at. Then I turned her to me and kissed her.

 

At the restaurant we again flirted, got to know each other more. At various points I did feel a little more nervous than usual but held it together the best I could. We spoke a little more and she asked me what her last tram was so I checked. I decided it was time to get the bill and make our move.

 

Walked her over to the tram stop and she asked when my bus was and said I could go for my bus if I wanted, but I walked her to the platform and we kissed, for possibly what felt like a good minute or two. Everytime I pulled away, she was lingering in front of me like she wanted it to continue so I did. She didn’t show signs of rushing off from it and she gripped my jeans.

 

It’s the next day and I’m going to call her later to set up another date if she wants that. If she doesn’t pick up, I’ll drop a text and wait for a reply.

[amazonrambo]

I also was thinking whether to phone her around 5pm on a Saturday evening as she could be busy, but I'll phone to arrange another date and if no answer (as she'll be busy if she re-arranged our date to yesterday) then I'll send a text. Least if she doesn't pick up, I showed confidence in trying to call. Then she can reply to the text in her own time.

 

May as well just do it!

 

Also, do you find it weird if you act like a couple on the second date? I feel like we do, we seem very comfortable touching each other, kissing, etc. Feels like we've known each other a while. Even when the escape room instructor was talking to us, I had my hand around her waist and she was gripping my hand now and then. Usually used to that building up over time.

Edited November 25, 2017 by amazonrambo

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I also was thinking whether to phone her around 5pm on a Saturday evening as she could be busy, but I'll phone to arrange another date and if no answer (as she'll be busy if she re-arranged our date to yesterday) then I'll send a text. Least if she doesn't pick up, I showed confidence in trying to call. Then she can reply to the text in her own time.

 

I'd wait until Sunday. If she doesn't answer, then you're going to be analyzing everything to death, wondering if she's on a date with someone else......

[Imajerk17]

OP RE your posts #95 and #96--glad the date went so well. Meanwhile you need to stop overthinking.

 

If a girl likes you it's easy. At least a lot easier than you are making it out to be. [You seem to be making it out in your head to be so difficult, much harder than it really is, which I think is the *real* reason why you are trying too hard to be clever/entertaining in your texts and it is coming out so contrived.]

 

As for when to call her: Call her today when you get the chance. If you happen to miss her then leave a voicemail saying you hope she is having a good day and you had a really good time last night and you have ideas for the third date. Keep the voicemail brief and to the point. (None of this about being out robbing banks or rescuing kittens or any other of that silly stuff.) Then hang back and relax--see she knows how to return a phone call.

Edited November 25, 2017 by Imajerk17

[amazonrambo]

I'd wait until Sunday. If she doesn't answer, then you're going to be analyzing everything to death, wondering if she's on a date with someone else......

 

Only problem is I'm working from 11-9 on Sunday, although I am in charge and we close at 5:30pm so I could phone then, or on my lunch break.

 

So you're recommending waiting until Sunday? I feel like that's a typical thing I'd do, post on here about it and have people complain that I waited two days to reach out to her after the date haha.

 

I do feel uncomfortable phoning her this evening as she'll be busy and I'd rather at least look like I'm busy doing something on a Saturday night, even if I've only got my feet up after work, plus I'd rather phone when I know she's free (we did that last Sunday).

 

Are you a woman? If you are and you have a date on Friday night with a guy, waiting until Sunday is okay? Surely you'd think he wasn't interested? (Then again if he's asking you out on another date, I suppose that's contradicting )

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Only problem is I'm working from 11-9 on Sunday, although I am in charge and we close at 5:30pm so I could phone then, or on my lunch break.

 

So you're recommending waiting until Sunday? I feel like that's a typical thing I'd do, post on here about it and have people complain that I waited two days to reach out to her after the date haha.

 

I do feel uncomfortable phoning her this evening as she'll be busy and I'd rather at least look like I'm busy doing something on a Saturday night, even if I've only got my feet up after work, plus I'd rather phone when I know she's free (we did that last Sunday).

 

Are you a woman? If you are and you have a date on Friday night with a guy, waiting until Sunday is okay? Surely you'd think he wasn't interested? (Then again if he's asking you out on another date, I suppose that's contradicting )

 

I thought you had another date lined up for Saturday/tonight anyway?

 

Yes, I'm a woman, and I think, especially in this case when she's not much of a communicator in between dates, waiting 2 days is perfectly fine. Call her on your lunch break.