Had a fantastic date, is this okay to send the following day?

[amazonrambo]

I thought you had another date lined up for Saturday/tonight anyway?

 

Yes, I'm a woman, and I think, especially in this case when she's not much of a communicator in between dates, waiting 2 days is perfectly fine. Call her on your lunch break.

 

Okay, sounds right.

 

I did have one tonight, but I only got 4 hours sleep last night and asked if we're still on for the date tonight and she said "I didn't think we were still on for tonight" because I hadn't text her for two days. I'll arrange it another time when I'm feeling fresh, but I think she offers me too much communication over text, bit needy too if I don't reply and I'm growing to just using text to arrange the date and waiting for the day to come around. I also didn't feel like she was committed. Whilst I had doubts with last nights date, at least she text me to confirm it and remembered about meeting.

[amazonrambo]

OP RE your posts #95 and #96--glad the date went so well. Meanwhile you need to stop overthinking.

 

If a girl likes you it's easy. At least a lot easier than you are making it out to be. [You seem to be making it out in your head to be so difficult, much harder than it really is, which I think is the *real* reason why you are trying too hard to be clever/entertaining in your texts and it is coming out so contrived.]

 

As for when to call her: Call her today when you get the chance. If you happen to miss her then leave a voicemail saying you hope she is having a good day and you had a really good time last night and you have ideas for the third date. Keep the voicemail brief and to the point. (None of this about being out robbing banks or rescuing kittens or any other of that silly stuff.) Then hang back and relax--see she knows how to return a phone call.

 

You're right, women make it easy for you if they like you. I've experienced a lot of flaking and last minute cancellations in the past. You're definitely correct about trying too hard with my texting, that's definitely a result of my overthinking.

 

I'm going to phone her on my lunch break tomorrow. Last week, she asked if we could do Friday instead of Saturday, which suggests she's busy this evening with either friends/family/date, etc so I'll respect that. I'd rather phone her when I know she'll be free, like CautiouslyOptimistic says, she's not much of a communicator over text/phone so I'm sure another day is fine.

[Highndry]

Happy to hear she showed up and things are going well. Her lack of communication is a bit puzzling but she still seems interested. Just be yourself and everything will be fine.

[amazonrambo]

Happy to hear she showed up and things are going well. Her lack of communication is a bit puzzling but she still seems interested. Just be yourself and everything will be fine.

 

Wasn't expecting to hear from her, but it was what it was and she turned up. For what seems like lack of interest in her texting/response times, she more than makes up for it in person. I suppose this how it feels in the good old days of standard phone calls and no texting in between.

 

Sometimes I can be very smooth but sometimes awkward on the date, like I slightly panic about what I could say but we laugh about it.

 

Thanks for the advice. Will update if it goes down sh*t street.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Wasn't expecting to hear from her, but it was what it was and she turned up. For what seems like lack of interest in her texting/response times, she more than makes up for it in person. I suppose this how it feels in the good old days of standard phone calls and no texting in between.

 

Sometimes I can be very smooth but sometimes awkward on the date, like I slightly panic about what I could say but we laugh about it.

 

Thanks for the advice. Will update if it goes down sh*t street.

 

You seem to have the erroneous impression that women only respond to "smooth," which you've demonstrated multiple times in this thread. It's not true, and you have a much better shot just being yourself .

[amazonrambo]

You seem to have the erroneous impression that women only respond to "smooth," which you've demonstrated multiple times in this thread. It's not true, and you have a much better shot just being yourself .

 

Don’t get me wrong, my smooth moments weren’t planned as they came with quick thinking and were not awkward fortunately. I guess I try too hard to impress when really I should just talk to her! I’ll develop this if a third date develops!

[Yosemite]

She mentioned constructive criticism in a joking way again and told me there’s one thing I’m definitely good at and that’s walking a lot.

 

Is this the second or third time she’s mentioned walking a lot on the date? I think you should take the hint and cut down the walking on your next date.

[amazonrambo]

Is this the second or third time she’s mentioned walking a lot on the date? I think you should take the hint and cut down the walking on your next date.

 

Second time, I responded with jokingly offering her a piggy back ride. She took that well and laughed. If she picks up the phone I’ll mention we’ll do less walking. She’ll need to drive to where we’re going so doubt she’ll wear high heels. I’ll suggest to her to wear trainers.

[joseb]

Is this the second or third time she’s mentioned walking a lot on the date? I think you should take the hint and cut down the walking on your next date.

 

She said her ankles were bleeding ffs.

OP, you need to take into account the other person when planning dates. If you don't tell her your date involves walking and she ends up with bleeding ankles because of it, that's on you. Take the hint.

 

Also, please stop all this contrived smoothness.. E.g. "there's something else I'm good at" and "I'll let you make it up to me later" when she was just stuck in traffic, and all the "cheeky grins"

It reads like a list from a pua manual.

 

Other than that, she seems to be keen so stop over analysing everything and enjoy.

[Eternal Sunshine]

She said her ankles were bleeding ffs.

OP, you need to take into account the other person when planning dates. If you don't tell her your date involves walking and she ends up with bleeding ankles because of it, that's on you. Take the hint.

 

Also, please stop all this contrived smoothness.. E.g. "there's something else I'm good at" and "I'll let you make it up to me later" when she was just stuck in traffic, and all the "cheeky grins"

It reads like a list from a pua manual.

 

Other than that, she seems to be keen so stop over analysing everything and enjoy.

 

Agree with this. If someone told me the bolded because I was stuck in traffic, I would be cringing. Simple "no worries at all" would work much better.

[amazonrambo]

Agree with this. If someone told me the bolded because I was stuck in traffic, I would be cringing. Simple "no worries at all" would work much better.

 

I did say “No worries” before saying that, but I’ll avoid it in the future.

[amazonrambo]

She said her ankles were bleeding ffs.

OP, you need to take into account the other person when planning dates. If you don't tell her your date involves walking and she ends up with bleeding ankles because of it, that's on you. Take the hint.

 

Also, please stop all this contrived smoothness.. E.g. "there's something else I'm good at" and "I'll let you make it up to me later" when she was just stuck in traffic, and all the "cheeky grins"

It reads like a list from a pua manual.

 

Other than that, she seems to be keen so stop over analysing everything and enjoy.

 

Whenever I’ve not attempted to like that, I’ve always been given the “no spark” line even if I’ve physically escalated. More of a problem that I was acting like a friend, so I’ll continue to do that only if it feels natural, not forced. She appears to like it anyway and responds well.

[StephenV]

Second time, I responded with jokingly offering her a piggy back ride. She took that well and laughed. If she picks up the phone I’ll mention we’ll do less walking. She’ll need to drive to where we’re going so doubt she’ll wear high heels. I’ll suggest to her to wear trainers.

 

What you really need to do is apologise and not turn it into a joke. Whether or not she laughed, think about what she might be saying to her friends about this on Whatsapp ("He makes me walk everywhere, it's so annoying!") - she might not be saying that, of course... but you really gotta stop making her walk. You can't suggest to her to wear trainers, either. She wears what she wears. You need to cut down on the walking!!

[GemmaUK]

You are way too wrapped up in yourself OP!

 

She tells you that she had bleeding ankles and feet and you turn it into a joke by offering a piggy back! FFS! It's agony walking in heels - she put up with it to make the date OK for you. Give her some consideration and respect buddy!

She has told you more than enough times now about the walking.

She is trying to dress for dates with you man - dates - that means dressing to look nice - that includes heels.

I now know why she called it 'mystery' and it's another link to all of the walking - 'magical mystery tour' - not quite knowing where you're going and I bet you never slowed down, looked for a cab, you are too wrapped up with being 'smooth'.

 

I really hope she was as comfortable as she could be in her shoes this time - not that she would have been comfortable as broken skin takes more than a few days to heal and not hurt like hell! You would know this if you used your common sense and some empathy - yet it sounds like you walked a while again............

 

She is being very considerate of you on these dates - show her some consideration in return.

Going bowling - yeah, I'd wear heels, they have shoes to change into, I wouldn't be expecting a walk of anything more than say 5 to 10 minutes from one venue to another in heels with no fast paced walking. Luckily for me I've only dated guys who noticed, stepped up and realised it would hurt to walk a distance.

 

Women drive in heels - if you have walking going on or in mind you need to be specific about it as she has already made it very clear that she was not aware of just how much. You are just not listening to her as you are far too wrapped up in yourself but worryingly lacking empathy when she told you she was already hurt.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

AR, what are you doing on your next date?

[StephenV]

 

As we were walking to the restaurant, we bantered again. She mentioned constructive criticism in a joking way again and told me there’s one thing I’m definitely good at and that’s walking a lot. So I said, there’s another thing I’m also good at. Then I turned her to me and kissed her.

 

 

OP, I really don't mean to try and make you feel bad but I was reading through this thread again and this worried me - you really have to start trying to 'get' hints. This was her polite way of saying "I don't want to do so much walking". Come on, man. Try and attune yourself to this girl if you like her. If this carries on she'll lose interest, you're not really thinking about her, it seems. You're very worried about how you're coming across and planning all your little moves, but it doesn't seem as if you are interested in how she feels.

 

Other than that, yes, she does seem keen.... try and nip this in the bud and less walking, brother.

[amazonrambo]

You are way too wrapped up in yourself OP!

 

She tells you that she had bleeding ankles and feet and you turn it into a joke by offering a piggy back! FFS! It's agony walking in heels - she put up with it to make the date OK for you. Give her some consideration and respect buddy!

She has told you more than enough times now about the walking.

She is trying to dress for dates with you man - dates - that means dressing to look nice - that includes heels.

I now know why she called it 'mystery' and it's another link to all of the walking - 'magical mystery tour' - not quite knowing where you're going and I bet you never slowed down, looked for a cab, you are too wrapped up with being 'smooth'.

 

I really hope she was as comfortable as she could be in her shoes this time - not that she would have been comfortable as broken skin takes more than a few days to heal and not hurt like hell! You would know this if you used your common sense and some empathy - yet it sounds like you walked a while again............

 

She is being very considerate of you on these dates - show her some consideration in return.

Going bowling - yeah, I'd wear heels, they have shoes to change into, I wouldn't be expecting a walk of anything more than say 5 to 10 minutes from one venue to another in heels with no fast paced walking. Luckily for me I've only dated guys who noticed, stepped up and realised it would hurt to walk a distance.

 

Women drive in heels - if you have walking going on or in mind you need to be specific about it as she has already made it very clear that she was not aware of just how much. You are just not listening to her as you are far too wrapped up in yourself but worryingly lacking empathy when she told you she was already hurt.

 

We didn’t walk for half an hour straight, but it was brooen up and I wasn’t walking fast. It was around 10 minute walk to bowling, then around the same to the bar, then the same before dropping her off. However I’ve never worn heels obviously so I guess that was a lot of walking.

 

On our last date we walked around 10 minutes to the escape room, roughly 15 or so to the restaurant, then her tram stop was a couple of minutes from there.

 

Hopefully I haven’t ruined it due to walking too much, guess I was wanting to prolong the date.

 

I called on my lunch break and she didn’t answer, but I sent a text if she was free Friday at 7 and I said I felt bad for making her ankles sore these last two weeks.

[amazonrambo]

I should’ve been taking the hints so I will if we go out on any more dates and there will be less walking. We did sit down a lot more than we walked, but if she’s hinting about it then I need to notice.

 

I assumed she was busy when I phoned, but this was the following text I sent: “Hey, are you free next Friday at 7 to meet at (location)? Discovered something fun... and it involves a lot less walking! I feel bad for making your ankles sore these last two weeks x”

 

Whenever or if she replies, then hopefully there’s a third date. I wish I could have said “I apologise for making your ankles sore these last two weeks” rather than what I did send, but I hope it’s understood in the same way by her.

 

Apart from the hinting about too much walking, I didn’t see any other bad signs. She briefly crossed her arms at the restaurant, but that was down to how much cold wind that came through the door at one point. All her other body language was positive. Even when we kissed at the end, she kept lingerng around for more keeping her head close to mine. It wasn’t like she kissed me, then rushed off fortunately. She stayed around to kiss for a while.

 

Hope I haven’t wrecked this because of walking! I want her to be excited to see me, not because of hurting her ankles. It’ll change if I get chance to.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Are there taxis where you live? Uber?

[planb1973]

Why do you keep making her guess about what date you have planned? Whats wrong with just saying "Hey I came upon this activity, ______, sounds like fun, are you free Friday at 7:00? And are you paying attention to what her likes are so you can set up a date to do things she is interested in?

[amazonrambo]

Why do you keep making her guess about what date you have planned? Whats wrong with just saying "Hey I came upon this activity, ______, sounds like fun, are you free Friday at 7:00? And are you paying attention to what her likes are so you can set up a date to do things she is interested in?

 

It just creates a bit of intrigue, rather than seeming boring and telling her everywhere we’ll be going/doing on the night. If she asks me what we’re doing then I’ll tell her. It involves crazy golf, but I’ve not known one person to hate that. I remember her saying her dad plays it and taught it her growing up, she liked it but said she wasn’t good at it. I’m not good at it either.

[Teknoe]

Intrigue is fine but every time? It gets old after a while. Please be more straight up. Save the mystery for once in a while. It’s only fair to give her a preview plus she may suggest alterations to the date that might make it more pleasurable for her.

 

Remember, you need to consider her needs and wants too. Don’t get too caught up in your game of trying to win her heart. Let it happen naturally.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Intrigue is fine but every time? It gets old after a while. Please be more straight up. Save the mystery for once in a while. It’s only fair to give her a preview plus she may suggest alterations to the date that might make it more pleasurable for her.

 

Remember, you need to consider her needs and wants too. Don’t get too caught up in your game of trying to win her heart. Let it happen naturally.

 

This. Remember, you're doing real life, not a Hallmark movie .

[joseb]

Intrigue is fine but every time? It gets old after a while. Please be more straight up. Save the mystery for once in a while. It’s only fair to give her a preview plus she may suggest alterations to the date that might make it more pleasurable for her.

 

This exactly.

 

OP, again, are you reading from a pua script about this mystery thing? You need to adjust what you do based on what's happened (very obvious hints about wanting to know what the date is from her, and a very obvious dislike of too much walking, for example)

 

You are overanalyzing stuff like how much she crossed her arms (pua bodylanguage lesson maybe?) and not observing the glaringly obvious.

 

The mystery/fun element is great when it's done naturally, and in small doses. Not when it's forced on someone every time, and feels part of a play manual.

So use more sparingly

[Highndry]

It just creates a bit of intrigue, rather than seeming boring and telling her everywhere we’ll be going/doing on the night. If she asks me what we’re doing then I’ll tell her. It involves crazy golf, but I’ve not known one person to hate that. I remember her saying her dad plays it and taught it her growing up, she liked it but said she wasn’t good at it. I’m not good at it either.

 

This is all scripted and it's not going to work out well if you don't stop. It's not intriguing or mysterious, it's contrived and comes off as insecure and desperate. Any connection you are hoping to make with her is going to have to come from an authentic place within you. If you do anything, listen to the women on this thread who are telling you to stop this.