Had a fantastic date, is this okay to send the following day?

[amazonrambo]

Wow, 170 posts on this thread and only 2 dates so far. This works out to so far 85 posts per date.

 

I am sorry this isn't looking good OP, but for all the analysing done in this thread, what you need to realize is that at the end of the day, MOST *first* dates don't lead to seconds. And seconds often don't lead to thirds. This includes many seemingly great dates not going anywhere. I'm really not seeing how much more analysis is needed here.

 

We're trying to break the loveshack world record, didn't you know?

 

Yeah, I've lost hope.. but I'll give it one more try on Wednesday and delete her number. For whatever happened, for all the touching, kissing, verbal signs, etc she showed me, she must be a really good actor and was probably faking it.

 

Shame, because I thought I finally met a girl I clicked with.

 

At least now I know what I want in a girl, which is not communicating over text every day, but enough communication to set the date and just turn up for it.

 

I'd have preferred a "not feeling it" text if I'm honest, not silence/ghosting.

[Imajerk17]

My plan originally was to wait until Wednesday evening and call her around 8pm when I'm finishing at work, as calling is confident. I'm 100% expecting it to go to voicemail, so I was wondering whether to leave her a voicemail or just send it as a text THEN delete her number so I'm not tempted to make further contact.

 

I would either say over voicemail or text "Not sure what happened earlier in the week but look, I'd still like to see you, so let me know when you're next free to arrange a date. I'm also sorry for making you walk so far in heels and hopefully that hasn't put you off".

 

Not sure about the apology, but I'd feel like if that was the issue, which I'm certain it is, then at least she knows I'm sorry. And if I get no reply, at least she's seen/heard I was apologetic and it leaves a better impression of me rather than the ass that made her ankles bleed in her heels.

 

 

Cripes bro. Don't apologize. She is not responding to you, not because she is upset at you for "making" her walk in heels or whatever, but instead because she isn't feeling it.

 

If she were truly feeling it she might even be beating HERSELF up for not wearing more comfortable footwear!

 

Keep the message positive and brief, and if you have to say anything say that because she seems to like and look so good in heels you have a date idea that involves less walking this time.

[amazonrambo]

This doesn't sound like a good line, to me. Sounds like she accepted/tolerated it.

 

She said she liked greek food when we got there, so I thought she'd be okay with it. Prior to getting there, I asked what food she liked/didn't like and she said as long as it wasn't spicy so she didn't seem fussy.

 

Looking back on the dates, I probably made the mistakes in that restaurant. Unfortunately the tram stop was right on the doorstep, so I had no time to rectify it. I did make her laugh out loud, etc throughout the meal and at one point we were guessing each other's secret tricks so I held her hand and stroked it pretending to read her mind. She asked if I did that to just touch her hand.

[amazonrambo]

Cripes bro. Don't apologize. She is not responding to you, not because she is upset at you for "making" her walk in heels or whatever, but instead because she isn't feeling it.

 

If she were truly feeling it she might even be beating HERSELF up for not wearing more comfortable footwear!

 

Keep the message positive and brief, and if you have to say anything say that because she seems to like and look so good in heels you have a date idea that involves less walking this time.

 

My text on Sunday asking her out mentioned the date involving a lot less walking and that I felt bad for making her ankles sore these last two weeks.

 

I'll drop the apology then and go with what I said, mentioning what you said about the heels, keeping it positive.

[StephenV]

If she doesn't respond that's OK. You seem to have no trouble getting dates in the first place so I imagine you're a good-looking guy.

 

Dating is a minefield. It's difficult. And you do have to go through all of this to eventually meet someone you click with (which WILL happen) - I went through it myself, as have many others. Don't beat yourself up too much - like you said, it's been a learning experience.

 

Wait a little bit longer and see if she responds. And like someone else said if you choose to initiate, keep it brief and positive

[olivetree]

My text on Sunday asking her out mentioned the date involving a lot less walking and that I felt bad for making her ankles sore these last two weeks.

 

I'll drop the apology then and go with what I said, mentioning what you said about the heels, keeping it positive.

 

You've already called and texted with no response.

Do not call or text again!

 

And certainly don't apologize again for the walking thing.

You already said you feel bad about it.

 

You need to keep moving forward.

Focus on other things right now and if she responds, she responds.

[amazonrambo]

If she doesn't respond that's OK. You seem to have no trouble getting dates in the first place so I imagine you're a good-looking guy.

 

Dating is a minefield. It's difficult. And you do have to go through all of this to eventually meet someone you click with (which WILL happen) - I went through it myself, as have many others. Don't beat yourself up too much - like you said, it's been a learning experience.

 

Wait a little bit longer and see if she responds. And like someone else said if you choose to initiate, keep it brief and positive

 

I seem to get first and second dates no problem, but for the life of me I can't get third dates. I've had two relationships in the past year, both only lasting a couple months.

 

There's a lot of competition so it's hard when the girl has lots of choice. I'm beating myself up because I've never met such a girl who I click with, who made it feel so effortless on dates to the point I had the confidence to just stop her halfway through it and kiss her. I'd never have the balls to do that with anyone else. Least now I've experience that, if I get good signs with the next girl I'll try the same.

 

I'll wait until Weds evening (enough time) and say "Not sure what happened earlier but I'd still like to see you, so let me know when you're next free. Seeing as you like and look good in heels, I've a date idea that involves less walking this time". Then delete her number.

 

Hopefully that's brief and positive!

[amazonrambo]

You've already called and texted with no response.

Do not call or text again!

 

And certainly don't apologize again for the walking thing.

You already said you feel bad about it.

 

You need to keep moving forward.

Focus on other things right now and if she responds, she responds.

 

I won't do both, but I'll reach out one final time. I'll either call and leave a voicemail or send that text and delete her number afterwards on Wednesday night. Then I've given it a good three days before reaching out one last time.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I seem to get first and second dates no problem, but for the life of me I can't get third dates. I've had two relationships in the past year, both only lasting a couple months.

 

There's a lot of competition so it's hard when the girl has lots of choice. I'm beating myself up because I've never met such a girl who I click with, who made it feel so effortless on dates to the point I had the confidence to just stop her halfway through it and kiss her. I'd never have the balls to do that with anyone else. Least now I've experience that, if I get good signs with the next girl I'll try the same.

 

I'll wait until Weds evening (enough time) and say "Not sure what happened earlier but I'd still like to see you, so let me know when you're next free. Seeing as you like and look good in heels, I've a date idea that involves less walking this time". Then delete her number.

 

Hopefully that's brief and positive!

 

She was sending you signs, yes, but what was her motive behind it? That's what I mean about maybe she is a flirt/tease who just likes the feeling of being desired, likes making out, etc.

 

I wouldn't send that text. It's putting her on the spot by saying "let me know when you're next free" when she hasn't indicated she wants another date. Of course she can choose to ignore it, but I think I might be put off by that if I was unsure about a third date. And instead of "I've a date idea," how about just say what your idea is???

[olivetree]

"Not sure what happened earlier but I'd still like to see you, so let me know when you're next free. Seeing as you like and look good in heels, I've a date idea that involves less walking this time". Then delete her number.

 

Hopefully that's brief and positive!

 

Do not send this.

The content is no good and it says you're chasing someone running away from you now, not pursuing.

 

You've already asked her out, she's gotten the message, and if you don't hear from her then between Sunday and Wednesday she just couldn't even be bothered to let you know she's not interested!

[amazonrambo]

She was sending you signs, yes, but what was her motive behind it? That's what I mean about maybe she is a flirt/tease who just likes the feeling of being desired, likes making out, etc.

 

I wouldn't send that text. It's putting her on the spot by saying "let me know when you're next free" when she hasn't indicated she wants another date. Of course she can choose to ignore it, but I think I might be put off by that if I was unsure about a third date. And instead of "I've a date idea," how about just say what your idea is???

 

I'll change when to if and just tell her about going mini golfing then.

[amazonrambo]

Do not send this.

The content is no good and it says you're chasing someone running away from you now, not pursuing.

 

You've already asked her out, she's gotten the message, and if you don't hear from her then between Sunday and Wednesday she just couldn't even be bothered to let you know she's not interested!

 

Think I'll avoid the text then if everyone agrees it's a bad idea?

 

I did want to use it as a chance to tell her where we'd be going, aka mini golf though.

 

I'll just give her one last phone call on Wednesday evening and if no pick up then message received and I'll delete her number. At least if she doesn't pick up the call, I don't have to send some lousy text.. but in the off chance she does, I could arrange the date there and then.

[StephenV]

Think I'll avoid the text then if everyone agrees it's a bad idea?

 

I did want to use it as a chance to tell her where we'd be going, aka mini golf though.

 

I'll just give her one last phone call on Wednesday evening and if no pick up then message received and I'll delete her number. At least if she doesn't pick up the call, I don't have to send some lousy text.. but in the off chance she does, I could arrange the date there and then.

 

So it's Friday you've asked her to go on another date with you? What's the significance of Wednesday? (Apologies if this has already been mentioned)

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Think I'll avoid the text then if everyone agrees it's a bad idea?

 

I did want to use it as a chance to tell her where we'd be going, aka mini golf though.

 

I'll just give her one last phone call on Wednesday evening and if no pick up then message received and I'll delete her number. At least if she doesn't pick up the call, I don't have to send some lousy text.. but in the off chance she does, I could arrange the date there and then.

 

Not nearly a good enough reason to text her. Mini golfing is not anything special, sad to say. You'll preserve more of your integrity and that mystery you like so well if you just stay silent.

[amazonrambo]

So it's Friday you've asked her to go on another date with you? What's the significance of Wednesday? (Apologies if this has already been mentioned)

 

Wednesday is my deadline day to give it one last phone call. Enough time for her to respond back, three days since my date request text and enough time for her to reach out to me since out last date, which is 5 days.

 

After that is when I'll remove her number and forget about it. Sounds weird, but I feel like when I make a structured plan like this, I stick to what I'm going to do and when to draw the line.

[StephenV]

Wednesday is my deadline day to give it one last phone call. Enough time for her to respond back, three days since my date request text and enough time for her to reach out to me since out last date, which is 5 days.

 

After that is when I'll remove her number and forget about it. Sounds weird, but I feel like when I make a structured plan like this, I stick to what I'm going to do and when to draw the line.

 

OK, that makes sense. Well keep in mind that it was only yesterday you contacted her - she might reach out yet!

[amazonrambo]

Not nearly a good enough reason to text her. Mini golfing is not anything special, sad to say. You'll preserve more of your integrity and that mystery you like so well if you just stay silent.

 

Meh, you're right. I suppose her wondering what the date was going to be gives her more incentive to reach out as opposed to just telling her it's going to be something average like mini golf.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

OK, that makes sense. Well keep in mind that it was only yesterday you contacted her - she might reach out yet!

 

I agree, and I think she will. I'm not getting a ghosting vibe from this one. Not saying she's going to say yes, but I don't think she's gone for good.

 

I've never "seen" such a horrible female texter though!

[amazonrambo]

OK, that makes sense. Well keep in mind that it was only yesterday you contacted her - she might reach out yet!

 

Wish I had your optimism, but I was born very pessimistic! Tomorrow is another day and as I've come to realise in life, you never know what happens. But she pretty much has the whole of tomorrow and Wednesday to convince me otherwise.

 

Probably best this didn't work out, seeing as my ex of two months ago is on this girls friends list of 258 people. They're not close friends, I think they know each other through both teaching (in seperate schools). My ex has liked one of her photos so she knows her in some way.

 

I also went back to when me and my ex announced our relationship in July and found out this current girl had liked our relationship status on Facebook at the time. I have an unusual name and the same picture since then so I'd assume she knows I was with her and maybe that put her off?

[amazonrambo]

I agree, and I think she will. I'm not getting a ghosting vibe from this one. Not saying she's going to say yes, but I don't think she's gone for good.

 

I've never "seen" such a horrible female texter though!

 

I'm surprised you of all posters have such optimism that she'll reply to me. I would honestly bet my own sister's life I'll receive nothing from her now. I'd have been optimistic at the weekend, because of how great our date was, but now I'm completely unsure.

 

Not to sound sexist, but neither have I. Girls always seem to want to talk, and I feel like I was getting hints of "playing hard to get" with the long response times but agreeing to see me.

 

This is a massive assumption, but with the confidence I show in person, maybe she's trying to test whether I'll become needy by ignoring me for a few days. I know, testing, etc, but hear me out.. anyone who is needy is a put off and she's been on a lot of first dates (which I'm sure some came across as really creepy/needy, she'll be wanting to filter those guys out). I've known a few female friends who have a lot of guys hit on them do this and they purposely don't reply back to see if the guy they're dating isn't faking their confidence that they show on first dates, stay true to their persona and able to hold their strength with her. Not all girls do it, but some do to weed out the strongest guys.

[olivetree]

This is a massive assumption, but with the confidence I show in person, maybe she's trying to test whether I'll become needy by ignoring me for a few days. I know, testing, etc, but hear me out.. anyone who is needy is a put off and she's been on a lot of first dates (which I'm sure some came across as really creepy/needy, she'll be wanting to filter those guys out). I've known a few female friends who have a lot of guys hit on them do this and they purposely don't reply back to see if the guy they're dating isn't faking their confidence that they show on first dates, stay true to their persona and able to hold their strength with her. Not all girls do it, but some do to weed out the strongest guys.

 

Well, the least needy thing you could do would be to not reach out again at all, including Wednesday.

 

Also, I wouldn't worry about trying to pick the "right" date idea.

When someone really likes you, they just want to spend time with you.

[some_username1]

I'm surprised you of all posters have such optimism that she'll reply to me. I would honestly bet my own sister's life I'll receive nothing from her now. I'd have been optimistic at the weekend, because of how great our date was, but now I'm completely unsure.

 

Not to sound sexist, but neither have I. Girls always seem to want to talk, and I feel like I was getting hints of "playing hard to get" with the long response times but agreeing to see me.

 

This is a massive assumption, but with the confidence I show in person, maybe she's trying to test whether I'll become needy by ignoring me for a few days. I know, testing, etc, but hear me out.. anyone who is needy is a put off and she's been on a lot of first dates (which I'm sure some came across as really creepy/needy, she'll be wanting to filter those guys out). I've known a few female friends who have a lot of guys hit on them do this and they purposely don't reply back to see if the guy they're dating isn't faking their confidence that they show on first dates, stay true to their persona and able to hold their strength with her. Not all girls do it, but some do to weed out the strongest guys.

 

Probably because the posters here have either dated girls who act like this, have friends who are girls and act like this or ARE girls who act like this

 

I wouldn't be surprised if she did re-appear maybe in a couple of days or a week or so, it is common these days to date at least one girl who likes sitting on the fence and spending the time between her replies picking splinters out of her ass. In my experience, and I hate to dismay you, its usually because she had me on rotation and was it was 'date day' with another guy, then she would circle back round to me a day or two later and reply again thinking she has got me right where she wants me.

 

But the thing is, as other posters have alluded to, how many great romances of this century started out with a 10+ page thread on Loveshack wondering WTF is going on? My money is firmly on none. When you really click with someone (by that I mean its a two way thing), setting up a date is effortless. If it is this much hard work then you have to respond in kind and not take her seriously AT ALL. In other words don't waste head space on them. If she comes back around toy with her a bit and use her for some fun until she proves she is worth more than that. Some girls actually respond positively to that type of behaviour (although a few months down the line you start to wish they hadn't), the rest will see your low investment and raise you to prove that they still have you on the hook. Any self-respecting man would walk away from either scenario- no matter how hot she is.

 

Tl;dr: Classy women who are worth dating are very rarely the subject of epic threads on Loveshack.

[olivetree]

Stop reading the dating coach sites.

They give the worst relationship advice.

That's where you're getting these "testing" ideas.

She's not testing you, but just like any other time, she will notice how you react to her.

[Teknoe]

Bro, you've expended far too much energy/headspace on her already. I'm not saying it's a guaranteed failure but how about living your own life, quit the overanalyzing and if she responds eventually, cool. If not, plenty of fish in the sea.

 

You're talking about texting/calling on Wednesday, now you're talking about betting your sister's life on her never replying... this is not healthy.

 

And whether you like it or not, this intense level of internal scrutiny probably manifests itself on dates and even in your texts to her.

 

As others have said, how many great relationships are forged from epic LS threads? Probably none. My GF and I? Not one post about her. Because she showed mutual interest and when a girl is LEGITIMATELY interested (in the "you're my top choice!" sense), you will know in no uncertain terms. Then, it doesn't matter if you're cheeky, clever or straight forward. A girl who likes you for you will overlook your asking out methods -- they'll just be happy to spend time with you. That's why I don't believe you can't text to set up dates. Everyone and every couple works differently. For example, my GF is not a phone/Facetime person. That's OK -- I'm not either. We're happy texting throughout the week and seeing each other on the weekend.

 

No such thing as one size fits all.

 

But when you find the right match -- she'll make your life so easy you won't need to ask for advice on LS. That is almost a universal fact!

[amazonrambo]

Least I have a plan and can move on.

 

I do worry I invaded her personal space at one point. When we were in the escape room and the person was guiding us through it, I put my hand around her lower waist, not on her rear end but close and was stroking her. She seemed receptive and got closer though.

 

I think she’s possibly seeing someone else though and too scared to say. I went snooping to ease my mind and whilst we don’t have each other on Facebook, you can see who she recently added and there was this good looking guy on there. She only has 250 odd friends whilst he has like 2500 and noticed he’s added a lot of girls so most likely he added her. Least I can have closure and assume she just found someone better, so I’ll find someone who’s worth my time too.