Me and My Girl

[NuevoYorko]

It's interesting that this thread morphed into "she's crazy and blocked." At the beginning there was zero info about her qualities aside from her youth and her texting.

[RecentChange]

Really? The girl half your age that you were considering engaging in an inappropriate way isn't mentally stable.

 

Well I'll be damned - shocking surprise there.

[jjgitties]

So my little adventure continues. For anyone that noticed or followed how the previous thread ended, no, I didn't block my younger 20 something acquaintance. We continued to text and talk and meet casually (just coffee -- I am not sleeping with her). It's slowly getting slightly more personal as the discussions are slowing moving into personal crisis, dreams, hopes e.t.c.

 

I guess its sort of emotional cheating so to speak. I know. It's awful. I totally know what the whole things is about from my end. She's sort of a little time portal back into my 20 year old self. If I was in my 20s I would be all goo-goo and ga-ga over her. I most probably would be staking her back then because I was so insecure and, well, lets face it, I really had nothing much else to do with myself -- things like a job, or career or family did not exist back then.

 

Its an amazing feeling though, after all these years. The little butterflies in your stomach and controlling your excitement about seeing someone again and listening to her speak and hanging on her every word and listen to her talk about all her crisis and worries and aspirations for future. Its like you have your own little bottle of dopamine in your brain but you are able to control the flow drop by drop. Back when I was young I would have let it all gush out and most probably completely overwhelm her and she would have gone running for the hills.

 

I don't know what I am going to do with my new little girlfriend or where this will lead. Most probably nowhere, but its amazing feeling this again after so many years. Those little feelings of quasi-falling-in-love. Just venting.

 

 

On the home front, my perpetually pissed of and unhappy wife seems to be in heat again so I am drained. I swear, women have a weird sixth sense and some sort of intuition.

Edited November 18, 2017 by jjgitties

[stillafool]

For God's sake, stop having sex with your wife already and get a divorce.

[RecentChange]

What a mess.

 

So being as you are so mature and wine and not in your early 20's any more.

 

What is your ADULT plan? Or do you on care about yourself and this rush and don't care who you will hurt?

 

You said that this girl was unstable a few days ago. And did I catch it right that she is MARRIED as well?

[NuevoYorko]

I almost get a niggling sense that you’re posting this just to get people stirred up. Either way, man up.

[BaileyB]

You deserve everything that is coming your way... Reality will hit you hard, my friend.

[MidwestUSA]

It's hard to take someone seriously when he refers to his wife as being 'in heat', on top of the other vile things that have been said about her.

 

Poor OP, the victim.

[jjgitties]

I almost get a niggling sense that you’re posting this just to get people stirred up. Either way, man up.

 

not really. i am just posting because this is a public forum where we are allowed to post and share our deepest thoughts and feedings anonymously. you need to learn to not get rattled by things you see posted online.

 

actually, the disussions and feedback is very userful and has beed great, whatever you may think of me, i have great respect and empathy towards other people on this forum. the feedback from the previous thread probably saved me from making a total food of myself in that given it has been so long since any girl showed any form of interest in me, it totally slipped my mind that so many years have passed and there really is an "eww" factor to watch out for given the age gap.

 

i am not pursuing her or chasing her pants. she is willingly hanging out with me, for whatever reason -- i guess she likes to hang out cause i listen to her.. and I like hanging out with her because she makes me feel young and its a bit of a rush.

[BaileyB]

It's hard to take someone seriously who complains endlessly about his marriage and takes no steps to change anything... And yet, brags about chasing a young girl who he has no business chasing considering she is half his age and he is MARRIED...

 

But hey, enjoy these butterflies while they last because it won't be long before they fly away...

[jjgitties]

What a mess.

 

So being as you are so mature and wine and not in your early 20's any more.

 

What is your ADULT plan? Or do you on care about yourself and this rush and don't care who you will hurt?

 

You said that this girl was unstable a few days ago. And did I catch it right that she is MARRIED as well?

 

Yes. I did post that and maybe it was to get you all off my back and maybe it was also because i was a little brain washed a bit by your posts.

 

But then I thought about it, why would i be rude and cut off ties with someone I like as a person because of a bunch of people posting online who, lets face it, are looking at everyone else's posts and relating it to their own situations and passing judgements on people based on information provided that can only be construed as being access to a very very small piece of the entire situation.

 

I posted this thread for two reasons I think. One to get feelings out. Two, maybe there are a lot of women on here who think all men just look at their tits and ass and no man gets emotionally excited about who they are as people.

.

[jjgitties]

You deserve everything that is coming your way... Reality will hit you hard, my friend.

 

I try to empathize but I still don't buy that emotional cheating is the same type of adultery as physically having sex. their is no way a judge can buy a claim of adultery if there was nothing physical.

[minimariah]

i think it’s funny how you keep referring to her as “my girl” and “my little girlfriend” even though you are literally just hanging out. there is no romantic relationship at the moment.

 

to be honest, you seem like the type of guy who gets bored every once in a while and looks around and you’ll probably calm down when the wife finds out and tells you off. and then you’ll do it again. much like the naughty little boy who does bad things because he knows mommy will step in when things get too deep, that’s how you come off to me.

[jjgitties]

i think it’s funny how you keep referring to her as “my girl” and “my little girlfriend” even though you are literally just hanging out. there is no romantic relationship at the moment.

 

to be honest, you seem like the type of guy who gets bored every once in a while and looks around and you’ll probably calm down when the wife finds out and tells you off. and then you’ll do it again. much like the naughty little boy who does bad things because he knows mommy will step in when things get too deep, that’s how you come off to me.

 

yup. you are totally right. there is no sex and its just hanging out.

 

as the subforum discussion states, "The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner."

 

It means its also a place you can post stuff that does not have any physical intercourse at play and is totally and entirely based on how the person makes you feel inside.

[minimariah]

Two, maybe there are a lot of women on here who think all men just look at their tits and ass and no man gets emotionally excited about who they are as people.

.

 

right.

 

i’m sure you’re excited about a 20 year old chick because she’s such a deep, complete person with so much life experience, wisdom and knowledge and NOT because she is 20 years younger.

[minimariah]

It means its also a place you can post stuff that does not have any physical intercourse at play and is totally and entirely based on how the person makes you feel inside.

 

well, nobody is denying that. you can post whatever you want as long as its respectful of the board’s guidelines, just like we can comment the same.

 

i just found it funny how you referer to someone as “my girl” when the girl in question probably has no idea that she is, in fact, YOUR girl.

[BaileyB]

Maybe there are a lot of women on here who think all men just look at their tits and ass and no man gets emotionally excited about who they are as people.

.

 

Sure, if you say so... Just like, the reason why she wants to hang out with you is because you listen to her...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

This is what they call a mid-life crisis. I don't know what they call it for the 20 year old. Maybe just a crisis.

[jjgitties]

right.

 

i’m sure you’re excited about a 20 year old chick because she’s such a deep, complete person with so much life experience, wisdom and knowledge and NOT because she is 20 years younger.

 

okay.. i fail to understand where that is coming from. so the only thing you look for in a relationship with anther person is how much "life experience" and "wisdom" they have? what do you plan to do with your partner, sit around talking about mortgages and the economics and quote zen bhiddism to each other all day? work on openning up your heart a little and accept individuals for the people who they and and how it makes you feel being around them.

 

i dont know whats up in her marriage or why she is hanging out with me? its none of my business. who knows.. and until she feels like talking about, i am not probing. what i am supposed to say, "hey, why are you hanging out with a guy my age and not people your age? why aren't with your husband at home baking apple pie?"

 

FWIW.. when I was much young I was really good friends with my boss who was female. (No, we never slept together!!). I was in my 20s she was in her 40s and turns out later that she indeed was going through a divorce. But we one day, after i worked for her for 6 months, had coffee for no apparent reason and started talking and discovered we both like the same genre of music and started hanging out and going to bars and clubs. Never once did she ever ask me why am I hanging out with someone her age? It was a great friendship that lasted for almost 10 years. Then withered out. Thats all there was to it.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

i dont know whats up in her marriage

 

I'd guess it has something to do with only being 20 and already being married. Any idea how old her husband is and how long they've been married? Kids?

[jjgitties]

Oh my God! I am such an idiot. I just realized why my old boss liked hanging out with me and going to blues clubs. I made her feel the same way this girl makes me feel.

 

Fwiw.. perhaps this might be useful for some women on here.. so will post as we are all Anon.

 

What wound up happening to my old boss was she reconnected with her old boyfriend and rekindled the romance and left her husband to marry him. I never understood that because I thought her old husband was a million times cooler and better looking than her old BF. The BF was an ugly dweeb.

[BaileyB]

With all due respect, you are looking for an argument today, just for the sake of arguing...

[MidwestUSA]

Oh my God! I am such an idiot. I just realized why my old boss liked hanging out with me and going to blues clubs. I made her feel the same way this girl makes me feel.

 

Fwiw.. perhaps this might be useful for some women on here.. so will post as we are all Anon.

 

What wound up happening to my old boss was she reconnected with her old boyfriend and rekindled the romance and left her husband to marry him. I never understood that because I thought her old husband was a million times cooler and better looking than her old BF. The BF was an ugly dweeb.

 

 

Cooler? Dweeb? Honestly, given enough time, 'your girl' may just realize she's more mature than you. Enjoy reliving your tween years while it lasts!

[jjgitties]

With all due respect, you are looking for an argument today, just for the sake of arguing...

 

Fine. I will stop posting. I thought it would be useful and therapeutic for both males on here who have problems meeting women because they letting their hormones control how they interact with women they meet.

 

Also maybe useful for women on here who have problem understanding why husband's develop friendships with other women.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Fine. I will stop posting. I thought it would be useful and therapeutic for both males on here who have problems meeting women because they letting their hormones control how they interact with women they meet.

 

Also maybe useful for women on here who have problem understanding why husband's develop friendships with other women.

 

What you're not understanding is that we already know this. How have you given your wife a chance to provide the same ego boost you're getting from this woman? Now that she's "in heat" what's your new excuse for why she's so awful?

 

I'm not trying to disrespect you, but we don't need you to tell us why men "develop friendships with other women." We get the whole ego boost thing. The "dopamine" from "new love." Being made to feel like you're sexy and fascinating. It's sustainable though; all of that fades away just like it did in your marriage. The best way to keep this feeling going is only engage in short term relationships for the rest of your life so you're always in the honeymoon phase and your partner is always making you feel like you're the best thing since sliced bread.