Do looks matter to women?

[RecentChange]

Gah if won't let me edit.

 

Okay the pretty convict kissed a rich lady.....

 

Doesn't sound like she wifed him.

 

But again.... I am going to point to the first family, and the other thousands of examples of ugly dudes with hot wives.

Edited November 20, 2017 by RecentChange

[jay1983]

I'm more concerned about whats practical. Everyday people not TMZ.

[Woggle]

Yes he became famous because of his good looks. Has a rich and powerful woman married him?

 

He's dating a rich heiress. He left his wife for her.

[MsJayne]

I've always found that a good-looking guy with a bad personality can start to look kinda icky 'round about the same moment that you realise he has the IQ of a guinea pig, but an average-looking guy with a great personality can turn into your George Clooney as you get to know him.

[No_Go]

I'm thinking about it almost other way round.

For casual: as long as there is chemistry - looks are irrelevant.

For long-term: I may care for looks a bit more since I have to show up in public with the person and eventually procreate with him

 

I don't remember once in my life being attracted to looks. Usually I start noticing looks after solid attraction is already there. [if I'm not attracted to someone usually I can't even remember how they look It is funny how selective memory can be].

 

Depends what for. For a long term relationship looks matter less to me. For just casualsex only looks matter.

 

Why would I care about his personality or career since I won't see the guy again or not too many times ? But if I plan to spend the rest of my life with someone kindness, emotional and career stability, values compatibility will rank higher than looks.

[Ruby Slippers]

Women care about looks, but due to our biology we tend to care more about other things, like attentiveness and loyalty. Whether you're going to be carrying babies or not, your biology is designed to make sure that you and your babies are going to be well cared for - through attentiveness and loyalty.

 

If most women could get and keep hot guys who were also highly attentive and loyal, of course they would. But women figure out that the best looking-guys are often the least attentive and loyal, as they'll get women starry-eyed regardless of their behavior.

 

When women choose casual sex partners, looks shoot to the top of the list. Even then, though, most women prefer to be the object of attention, so other personality factors will be part of the mental calculation about his suitability even for that. In other words, it's better to be with a cute guy who's excited to please you in bed, than a super hot guy who thinks of you as just another warm female body for his pleasure.

[Mysterio]

Looks matter to both genders. For me the face is my focal point. Then the personality takes over after that.

[ZA Dater]

Yes women are attracted to attractive men like George Clooney. He's beautiful, rich and successful.

 

How many women would be lining up to marry George if he was a janitor?

 

Now how many rich yet fugly women have some hottie on their arm?

 

How much rich yet hideous men have absolutely gorgeous women as wives?

 

I have our president as an example - do you think Melina thought, damn that's the most physically attractive Mani have ever seen?

 

Do you think Mr. Trump courted Melania because she as the most interesting and intelligent women he had ever met?

 

 

 

This to me is the honest truth. Seen this over and over again with guys who splash the cash around. The allure of success overrides the allure of physical attraction to lesser and greater extents.

 

 

I have spent a large part of my life exposed to both worlds, the seemingly ordinary and the extraordinarily successful and wealthy and the two playgrounds are very different. Never ever have I seen a wealthy guy with a ugly gf or wife.

 

 

Conversely never have I seen Joe ordinary with someone exceptionally good looking. I myself have managed that once or twice and its an experience worth having, have the entire room turn to look at you because of who you are with. Highly superficial but it still feels good.

 

 

Looks matter to everyone to lesser and greater degrees, for me though there needs to be some intellectual stimulation for me to find the person interesting BUT that's SO hard to find.

[Moves Like Jagger]

Yes, looks matter to women. Please don't deny that young guys who play sports date a different type of women than out-of-shape homeless guys. There are plenty of studies that show that generally women date guys who are similar to them in looks.

 

When women say looks don't matter, they are saying that they will date an average looking guy who has a lot of charm and personality. Think of the guys from the tv show Big Bang Theory. They're young, in good shape, and not too skinny or too fat. A lot of beautiful women will give these guys a chance if these guys approach her with the right vibe.

 

On the other hand, you have guys who are below in average in looks. You have guys who are really out of shape. These type of guys who have good social skills generally date women in their league. Then you have older guys who hit on much younger women. A lot of women perceive those older guys as creeps. You also have nerdy guys who look dorky in a bad way. There are other type of guys who don't care about their grooming to the point that they look creepy.

 

I'm trying to say that charm doesn't mean much if the guy is making women uncomfortable before he opens his mouth.

[GemmaUK]

Yes but a "hunk alert" is often just a bit of fun and is not necessarily an indication of the type of guy that women would go for if they were actually looking for a man to date.

 

I haven't read all the posts - had to stop here for a second.

 

We had a similar thing a few years ago.

A guy came into the office, he was a customer and he set off a 'hunk alert' amongst many of the women.

 

I knew the guy, have done for about 20 years. I was really surprised at the women's reactions and had to take a step back to see what on earth they were seeing.

I could 'see it' but because I know him and know his personality and traits he just on the hunk alert scale for me at all.

 

Looks matter to me and I need to be attracted to date someone but others things are much more important.

I have attempted to date a few guys I was not at all physically attracted to, instead going by their personality. None lasted long once the personality changed from best foot forward into the real them.

 

In general I have found more attractive men to have better personalities and it has been due to that aspect that my relationships with them have lasted longer.

[elaine567]

Yes, looks matter to women. Please don't deny that young guys who play sports date a different type of women than out-of-shape homeless guys. There are plenty of studies that show that generally women date guys who are similar to them in looks.

 

When women say looks don't matter, they are saying that they will date an average looking guy who has a lot of charm and personality. Think of the guys from the tv show Big Bang Theory. They're young, in good shape, and not too skinny or too fat. A lot of beautiful women will give these guys a chance if these guys approach her with the right vibe.

 

On the other hand, you have guys who are below in average in looks. You have guys who are really out of shape. These type of guys who have good social skills generally date women in their league. Then you have older guys who hit on much younger women. A lot of women perceive those older guys as creeps. You also have nerdy guys who look dorky in a bad way. There are other type of guys who don't care about their grooming to the point that they look creepy.

 

I'm trying to say that charm doesn't mean much if the guy is making women uncomfortable before he opens his mouth.

 

Bottom line is that people in general pair off with people who are similar to themselves.

Similar looks, similar interests, similar intelligence, similar values, similar tastes...

For there to be any mixing up of that natural pairing off, then other things need to be brought into the mix, charm, humour, talent, influence, money, intelligence, creativity... and opportunity.

Perceived "ugly" people need to be able to bring something else to the table to attract the less "ugly".

 

There seems to be an obsession with the "beautiful", who to my mind are a very, very rare species indeed.

Most people are really pretty "average" in looks, neither very beautiful nor very ugly and thus tend to attract the "average" in return...

[JuneL]

Does that mean sex with the long-term guy is less exciting? Seems like a lot to give up, especially if you are thinking marriage.

 

I can't speak for BluEyeL, but I would think it's much deeper and more intimate vs. something fun and superficial.

 

The thing is, when I am in love, my man is the sexist man alive in my mind, even though I know that there are plenty of more good looking guys out there objectively.

Edited November 21, 2017 by JuneL

[ZA Dater]

Bottom line is that people in general pair off with people who are similar to themselves.

Similar looks, similar interests, similar intelligence, similar values, similar tastes...

For there to be any mixing up of that natural pairing off, then other things need to be brought into the mix, charm, humour, talent, influence, money, intelligence, creativity... and opportunity.

Perceived "ugly" people need to be able to bring something else to the table to attract the less "ugly".

 

There seems to be an obsession with the "beautiful", who to my mind are a very, very rare species indeed.

Most people are really pretty "average" in looks, neither very beautiful nor very ugly and thus tend to attract the "average" in return...

 

 

 

I'd counter this but saying how do you define "average"?

 

 

I'd wager its possibly easier to find someone "beautiful" than it is to find someone with an amazing personality.

 

 

At the end of the day all this really amounts to is shopping, perceived beautiful items will always be in high demand and those less beautiful wont be. You either as you say try do something else to add value.

 

 

Ultimately I think that method is ultimately doomed because you are never going to be able to compete against the economic reality of people who simply have more resources.

 

 

As I guy I don't bother competing with guys who look better than me and have more than me, simply because its completely futile. Much has been said about "oh personality and suchlike" matters but does it matter more than looks and material wealth? Not sure about that one.

 

 

The key with everything about dating is to not let any of it devalue you as a person and you should not think less of yourself because some societal law laws such as "like with like".

[guest569]

Donnovain nailed it on page1.

 

Looks matter. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[BluEyeL]

Does that mean sex with the long-term guy is less exciting? Seems like a lot to give up, especially if you are thinking marriage.

 

No, that's not the case. It's a completely different animal, but I'm too lazy to elaborate. I think you should be able to get it though.

[CptInsano]

[...]

Most people are really pretty "average" in looks, neither very beautiful nor very ugly and thus tend to attract the "average" in return...

 

Yes, that is definitely true. Many people tend to think in extremes, considering themselves more or less attractive than others, when in reality they are rather average. That being said, there are plenty of looks that are just a matter of taste, creating another layer of differentiation. For example, some guys like girls with lots of tattoos, but that's really not my thing.

 

But what is very noticeable is when you spend time with somebody who is very attractive or unattractive. It's almost like a different world of human interactions.

[alphamale]

In general I have found more attractive men to have better personalities and it has been due to that aspect that my relationships with them have lasted longer.

 

they are also more confident and happier in general

[elaine567]

they are also more confident and happier in general

 

I also think that people who are more confident and happier in general appear better looking too.

It is the genuine smile, the fire in the eyes, the direct eye contact, the upbeat body language, the animated conversation, the relaxed vibe... all things that are attractive and appealing to most.

[stillafool]

I see different types of guys get attractive women. What are women looking for?

 

Why don't you ask some of these guys this question? Ask them what their secrets are in attracting women.

[Imajerk17]

Of course looks matter… some.

 

When it comes to leagues, men's WEALTH is going to get them into higher leagues, while women’s physical BEAUTY gets her into higher ones.

 

Lets say this “hottie” is a bicycle messenger, delivering to a law office. Let’s say all the female attorneys check him out. Do you think a high paid professional woman is going to decide that the courier is “out of her league”? Do you think she would want to date, or marry the bicycle messenger?

 

Now lets say it’s a group of professional men, and a very cute female delivers to their office. Do you think the men would decide she is “out of their league” or do you think that perhaps their wealth and power makes them think they may have a shot with the cute young thing? Do you think that they would consider dating or marrying her because of her good looks, or would she be rejected based on her profession?

 

Are leaugues based solely on physical looks for both genders, or are the made up by a number of factors that the different sexes tend to weigh differently?

 

Can a women get a high paying job and then start attracting very good looking men?

 

Can a man get a high paying job and then start attracting very good looking women?

 

Which happens with greater frequency?

 

Sure, I do see what you are saying here. But I don't think it is necessarily the high-paying job though.

 

Quite often a guy who is successful is assertive, intelligent, convincing, and is a go-getter. All great things when it comes to attracting women. But probably even more so when it comes to the women in his office, who see this guy in his element day after day.

 

But I have seen plenty of guys who hardly make much money do quite well with women. They may not practice law or medicine or be good at writing code, but they know how to make her laugh and charm her. And that is what really matters. I'm sure there are plenty of hot female attorneys out there who at one point or another hooked up with the bicycle messenger guy! Or the law clerk. Maybe not directly through work but maybe they connected at a bar. Did she stay with him long-term? Maybe not, but maybe that isn't what he was looking for either. Maybe sex with a lot of different attractive women is the guy's ideal at least for the moment.

 

Meanwhile, read the threads on here written by the women, many of whom are hooked on guys who are unemployed and hardly have any ambition. Sad to say there are women out there hopelessly devoted to dudes in prison! For serious stuff too. I'm not saying this is at all ideal or that these women devoted to these guys are healthy. What I AM saying is that people don't go that much by "leagues".

 

Anyway this drifted away from the original topic. To answer the OP's question, attraction is very important to women too, but looks are only a small part when it comes to attraction. Much more about confidence, social skill, intelligence, ect.

Edited November 21, 2017 by Imajerk17

[alphamale]

To answer the OP's question, attraction is very important to women too, but looks are only a small part when it comes to attraction. Much more about confidence, social skill, intelligence, ect.

 

but good looking men are PERCEIVED as having more confidence, social skills and intelligence. Ergo they do much better with women.

[BluEyeL]

I'm thinking about it almost other way round.

For casual: as long as there is chemistry - looks are irrelevant.

For long-term: I may care for looks a bit more since I have to show up in public with the person and eventually procreate with him

 

I don't remember once in my life being attracted to looks. Usually I start noticing looks after solid attraction is already there. [if I'm not attracted to someone usually I can't even remember how they look It is funny how selective memory can be].

Very interesting perspective. So showing the hubby around....you think people would say 'ugh, the guy is ugly" LOL

 

But the problem is, everyone will say that someone is ugly depending on their preferences.

 

But if you say...the guy is a surgeon and a millionaire...believe me nobody cares he's short and with a big nose LOL

[No_Go]

Very interesting perspective. So showing the hubby around....you think people would say 'ugh, the guy is ugly" LOL

 

But the problem is, everyone will say that someone is ugly depending on their preferences.

 

But if you say...the guy is a surgeon and a millionaire...believe me nobody cares he's short and with a big nose LOL

 

Haha, of course attractiveness is subjective - I meant if I’m committed with a guy his looks (as everything else) bleeds in the way how people perceive me because to some extent people take couples as an entity.

 

For casual: I need to find him attractive and since it will be something just between two of us - the only thing that matters is sexual chemistry between us. He can be as conventionally ugly as one can be - if chemistry works, that’s the only important thing.

 

Btw I can’t imagine bringing a guy to people and sharing his financial status, regardless if he’s broke or a millionaire. That will never be public information as far as I’m concerned so it doesn’t affect public perception.

 

TBH I’d be uneasy if a man I’m with outearns me or have higher social status, or is much better looking. Id guess if I’m superior - there will be envy in reverse, so I’d prefer if he’s comparable to me on most parameters, looks included, for a LTR.

[Fair]

Looks have no power over me as a woman unless he has an attractive personality which to me always equals intelligence.... they say intelligent men are more likely to be faithful and indeed I've seen this to be true.

 

That said, ugly does not appeal to me, physically or otherwise. Between looks and personality there has to be something there that is reasonably attractive, but personality makes or breaks the deal.

 

I once met someone who was quite overweight and I never would have dreamed I'd develop a crush on him but I did!! No one was more surprised than me. However, he was always well groomed- a professional - had a not unattractive face but a great deal of confidence with just the right amount of humility... not too much, not too little.

 

Of course, he had a crush on me too so I suppose that played a huge part in it too. We like people who like us, generally, if all the right components are there.

[healing light]

Sh*t is like Justin Bieber. Who likes Justin Bieber?.............*crickets

 

I love Justin Bieber.