Do looks matter to women?

[GemmaUK]

I've had this thread in the back of my mind for some reason recently.

 

I've been noticing more when I feel attracted to a man I see and asking myself why that feeling of attraction is there.

Especially so when physically they are not really my type or when facially they are not my type. I have also been thinking about longer term things which can turn me off or on when I know someone, get to know them and interact with them.

 

Thinking of some guys who I am somewhat attracted to there is one thing that really sticks out and it's how they dress and grooming including hygiene, scent, facial hair through it being ' a look' or being lazy.

 

Personality and confidence completely aside here in the main - except on that grooming thing as it can be a tell of character - as can over grooming or over dressing.

 

The guys I feel attraction for have been well dressed - not dressed for fashion or perpetually dressed up.

 

A man can look great in combats and a t-shirt if it suits his style and shape - another guy can look totally wrong in exactly the same clothes.

I have previously attempted to date men whom I wasn't physically attracted to in any way or not in many ways at all but thinking about those guys now, after the event I would never have gone there, should never have as there was too much about them I hoped would change or could be changed.

Many men I have met and even dated have come with the thought that if they get a girlfriend they will then think about losing weight, they will then think about updating their wardrobe/image. One of the worst was a guy said he would get the girlfriend, move in with her and then think about finding work and getting his ducks in a row - but that's a whole different story!

 

In fairness I am in my forties so there are clothes that I just dislike.

A few examples - skinny jeans - in my age appropriate group these never look good. Neither do skinny trousers. In fact, thinking of men in their twenties who I find have an attractive look - nope - none of them wear them either. I tell a lie - there was one guy - he was in his twenties - he didn't wear them all the time - they were just one of the styles he had and the skinny jeans suited him - he had the right kind of legs for them and he put together the rest of the look right including the shoes.

Sweat pants - these are for the gym, to and from and at the gym. They are not for spending an evening together.

Slacks - remind me of the 70's.

Polo necks - ditto to the 70's

Tank tops (which is what we call a jumper with no arms worn without or over a shirt - another reminder of the 70's.

Blazer jackets worn with jeans - I've never liked this look

I guess one of the things coming over to me here is style versus fashion. I have definitely without a doubt since my early twenties liked styles more than fashion. Different countries take on different fashions at different times but I wonder whether other women from my age group feel the same about certain kinds of clothing.

I am well aware that some of the things I like on a guy are not the same as those my peers like but in general we are not too dissimilar actually in clothing preference actually,

Just like paint doesn't always suit the surface you might want to paint on it's important to find a few different styles to suit you - whether you're male or female.

Colour is important too as is the texture of the fabric.

 

Alongside the above there have been occasions and many of them where there has been a particular day or night out where I have seen a man I already know wear something that he looks great in - noticeably great in - it could be just one new thing or something he has had but rarely ever wears. You can't help but look at him that day, it's pleasing to the eye.

Then the next time you see said guy he has opted for something which is his usual type of clothing and he is kinda set back by it - doesn't look good - something doesn't fit right, the colour or texture is not right for him

 

I've studied psychology, body language, facial expressions, plus what makes for attraction over the years for fun as it fascinates me and time and again I have read how what a man wears is much more important to a woman than what a woman wears being important to aa man.

I can completely agree based upon looking at my own thoughts and levels of attraction.

 

Grooming, hygiene, scent and facial hair - all comes into play too massively - especially upon being within reaching distance of someone - by reaching distance I mean between a metre pretty much.

Clean fresh smelling hair matters when you get within reaching distance, greasy hair smells greasy. If a person's hair is over gunked with product you can see it within a metre's distance.

 

Scent, there are a few scents now that I dislike - Hugo Boss is one, patchouli is another if that is the scent which overrides and other notes in a cologne.

It's always best never to just buy a cologne without testing it first and once on your skin asking a few folk what they think. I do this and always have done when potentially buying a new scent. If I am out shopping and interested in a scent I'll go there first, spray some and see how it changes (over at least a couple of hours) once on my skin and clothes. I will ask a stranger too - a male stranger (or the person I am shopping with)- maybe the guy helping me with trying on shoes or the guy serving my table in the coffee shop. Maybe both! I wouldn't ask someone in the shop I sprayed the scent as they like me could have lost sense of smell to some degree by sniffing other scents and also it's way too soon after spraying to see what a scent is like.

I will take a tester and try it out but it's important also that if you also spray anything on your clothes as well as your skin that notes in it remain similar.

I do like to be able to nuzzle in to a great scent on a guy once it's warmed into him but I am one who does appreciate if within that metre or a bit less I get a hint of scent - meaning he hasn't overdosed on it. He's got it just about right.

Most cheaper scents and these days some of the newer ones don't last on the skin at all and once on the skin scent always changes and can smell totally different on me than they do on a friend.

 

Hygiene and clothes care is something else that can be apparent within that metre distance. Hygiene should hopefully be a standard that people keep up but clothes care comes into play too. Older clothes or clothes where the fabric has held onto the bacteria which causes BO need a bit more care. Steaming the armpits or immersing the armpits only in boiled water keeps older or sweated in items in check so that they are wearable for longer.

Anti-perspirant is not the same thing as deodorant - I wish more men knew this, attraction can decrease as the day goes on just doing normal levels of activity and it's not the sweat it's the bacteria but hindering the sweat in the armpit helps with stopping the build up of bacteria from there.

Damp or musty clothes storage, or wearing clothing which has been worn over a t-shirt more than just a couple of times can also hold onto not so clean scents - not BO necessarily but just a stale smell.

 

Facial hair - there is a difference between stubble or more than one ot two days growth being a look and just being down to not shaving.

I like a goatee and I like the stubble look on a guy but I can tell within that metre (and if I know you and see you often) whether it's your weekend relaxed 'look' or whether you've just not bothered to shave for a few days.

Weekend stubble is all good in my book but if you shave for a Monday at work then the shaving stops before a Friday or Thursday and creeps in to Wednesday and Tuesday too with no tidying up going on it just looks like you don't care/get up late every day.

Stubble as a 'look' looks incredibly different when a guy has that look down as he will take care of that look, upkeep it and have the right tools to do so.

It's not common to find a guy who can grow stubble and look great without any upkeep whatsoever past a just a Friday, Saturday & Sunday.

 

I'm well aware of how picky this all might sound and I may get slated for that but well, I did say I had been thinking about it - and being totally honest, these are my thoughts.

 

I do find quite a variety of guys attractive but I admit that the above also helps or hinders.