sierrasugar Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 My grand mother to who I was not close to at all past away this winter. I only ever say her about once a year if that. Our family lives 11 hours away and we drove down for the funeral. Because it was winter she was not yet burried and will be this weekend. I am so overloaded with ISU's and assignments. I was planning on using this long weekend to catch up. Now my dad is mad at me because I don't want to go. I mean I barely new her and now they are going to make me drive down just for a ten minute ceremony thing. I mean am I wrong to not want to go. I am so loaded. The thing is that I am not just loaded with homework but also I am into horses. I ride about 5 times a week and next weekend is my first show. I have alot of training to do. I really don't want to go. Now my dad is so mad at me and has been treating me like crap because of this. I can understand that he want's me to go but here comes the weird part. He is probably not even going himself. He has to go outwest to work and so he wants us to represent the family. My sisters are going (3) and also my mom. What should I do I really dont want to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 The purpose of going to funerals is to pay your respects to the deceased and to be there for other family members. Being crammed with homework and studying for tests is a pretty good excuse for staying away. However, your riding is not an excuse and neither is your father's trip. Both of you have had a lot of time to plan for attending this funeral. Tell your dad you are jammed with work at school but you'll be very happy to attend if he will attend also. Let him know you're time is just as obligated as his is. You have no control over your father's anger or feelings. I never go to anything I don't want to go to...that means funerals, weddings, parties, dedications, lunches, dinners, jury duty, etc. I select only those events I think I will enjoy...and I leave whenever I want to. I don't care what people think. But obviously you do care what people think or you wouldn't have put up this post. So work on not caring what people think. Personally, I think they have kept grandma in the freezer this long, they can keep her there a bit longer until everybody's schedule is freed up and all can attend. What's a few more dollars on the power bill. Link to post Share on other sites
sierrasugar Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 But I don't even want to go. I hardly knew her and I don't think it is necessary. I already went to the funeral and paid my respects. I really just dont' feel it is necessary. LOL I sound like I am trying to convince you not to make me go. Grrrr This is so frussterating. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 If you went to the funeral, that's more than enough. Again, granny can stay in the fridge until it's convenient for everybody to be there. Make the arrangements. If that's not possible, just don't go. What terrible thing will happen if you don't go. Your father will get over it. What a hypocrite...trying to give you a guilt trip when he isn't even going to be there himself. And your grandma...she'll never know you weren't there. I'm sure she loved you enough to not haunt you. Can you dig it? Link to post Share on other sites
sierrasugar Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 Ya but my has to go his business in in danger. He really has no choice. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 I think you going will do less damage than you wasting your energy arguing with your dad about not going. Just go and get it over with. You said it was just a 10 min ceremony anyway. So that won't take up any of your time. And during the drive there and back, you can do your homework. By the time you get back, you'll be done with your homework and will have time to ride your horses. Better yet, if you have a job/your own money, why not buy a round-trip plane ticket? It'll only take a couple hrs there and back plus a 10 min ceremony. That'll also save you time. It'll make your mom happier. But most of all, it'll make your dad feel bad for yelling at you to go. But of course, if you REALLY don't want to go, just tell your parents that you are really swamped with school, and that you need to practice for your first show, which means a lot to you. I'm sure if you ask them calmly and politely, they'll reconsider. Link to post Share on other sites
sierrasugar Posted May 16, 2001 Share Posted May 16, 2001 I have tried doing homework in the car or at my other grandmas house but it is literally impossible. I have to read 4 novel, do an Isu, a book review and a physics assignment and lab. I have a job but can barely afford my horse so a plan is out of the question. Link to post Share on other sites
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