Hristinka Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Hi. I am 20 years old and I've been in a relationship for an year. 3 months ago I found out that my boyfriend has been viewing escorts websites for the 3 days and also porn. Porn is not that big deal for me, but I didn't expect the escourts. We moved together in the UK several months ago and we went back for a week in our country to see our friends and families and that's when this happened. I know he had sex with prostitutes 3 times before he knew me, but this was not a problem for me at all since he didn't know I existed. When I asked him why he went to that website he said at first that he was just curious and after maybe half an hour of me asking questions he said that he wanted to see if a particular prostitute is still doing this as a living. He sometimes checks people on facebook just to see what is going on with them, so he might just have done it out of curiosity, but how can I be sure? What if he has some feelings for her? The same night he deleted his history and told me he had done that, because the escourts website would just pop out out of a sudden without him opening it. I thought I would be ok with this and I would trust him and accept that it was done out of curiosity, but for the past 3 months I think about this at least once per day and it's just bothering me. We have sex every day, so I don't think lack of sex is the problem here and I am not fat. Could you please help me? I can't get this out of my head Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Sorry but that’s just weird 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 The problem with guys who have crossed the line into paying for sex is that escorts are everywhere, they are very accessible anywhere in the world and usually discreet. Sex on tap. Anywhere, any time, any place. That is why women who want a relationship need to steer well clear of guys who have used escorts either now or in the past... Usually for many men it is a huge hurdle to leap and many will not go there for varying reasons, but for those who do, it is usually very bad news for any women who would like to form a relationship with such a man. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Seems to me like he was hoping to meet up with a particular escort while you were "back home" if any part of his tale is true. If he was simply checking to see if she was still escorting out of a curiosity, he could have done that from the UK, no? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnie33 Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Ito doesn't matter if you have sex everyday and are the hottest woman in the world. It's not about you, it's about something that is missing in him. He went to an escort 3 times that you know of. Considering he's not hideous and can attract a woman without paying, that shows you that he likes it. It's easy, no strings attached and the women do exactly what you want. It's all fantasy. Be careful, these types of men are usually sex addicts. He could love you, but one woman will never be enough. He wasn't just looking to see if that one particular escort was still in business to sleep with. She was probably his favorite, and again, it's easy. He doesn't have to work for it. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. He has a history of paying for escorts, I don't expect that will change when he's in a relationship. He will likely eventually go back... Your story about deleting the browsing history because the escort website just happened to "pop up" made me laugh... There is a reason why he is defensive... Be careful with this one. If he is visiting escorts again, he will put your health at risk. You are young. I hate to say it, but I would be looking for another boyfriend... Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 I'm sorry but this doesn't sit well with me at all. I'm not accusing him of cheating or planning to cheat necessarily BUT this obsession of checking escort sites and particularly checking in on a favorite escort from his past is indeed troubling. And for the record, not every many who cheats is sexually deprived. Just because you're having sex daily doesn't necessarily safeguard your relationship from outside temptations. Some men (and women) enjoy the chase, the sneaking around, some are addicted to the risk factor or a certain taboo. The monotony of being in a committed relationship with one woman may be taking a toll on him which is why he's looking up escorts, past or present. There could be a hundred reasons that ultimately have nothing to do with you specifically. I'm not sure how to advise since all you managed to catch him doing so far is browsing escort sites. Can you trust him? Have no idea. All I know is that if you feel uncertain about things, if you feel a need to check up on him and what he's up to then it's a problem. And if he's deleting his history? He obviously has something to hide indeed. Tread carefully my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Hi. I am 20 years old and I've been in a relationship for an year. 3 months ago I found out that my boyfriend has been viewing escorts websites for the 3 days and also porn. Porn is not that big deal for me, but I didn't expect the escourts. We moved together in the UK several months ago and we went back for a week in our country to see our friends and families and that's when this happened. I know he had sex with prostitutes 3 times before he knew me, but this was not a problem for me at all since he didn't know I existed. When I asked him why he went to that website he said at first that he was just curious and after maybe half an hour of me asking questions he said that he wanted to see if a particular prostitute is still doing this as a living. He sometimes checks people on facebook just to see what is going on with them, so he might just have done it out of curiosity, but how can I be sure? What if he has some feelings for her? The same night he deleted his history and told me he had done that, because the escourts website would just pop out out of a sudden without him opening it. I thought I would be ok with this and I would trust him and accept that it was done out of curiosity, but for the past 3 months I think about this at least once per day and it's just bothering me. We have sex every day, so I don't think lack of sex is the problem here and I am not fat. Could you please help me? I can't get this out of my head Ah the old Prostie/Escort conundrum. I must say this topic is not uncommon at L/S But take it from a certified Gutter Urchin like myself that has some experience in this realm. He will never get it out of his system. Hence why he is still looking up escorts. If he tells you he actually was looking to see if a certain woman was still hooking, then I submit to you it is pretty obvious that your BF is looking for a Trip down Memory Lane. He will tell you some cock and bull story like he just did, but he will always be interested in Escorts. I mean he has banged 3 according to your post. You don't think a relationship is going to stop him from enjoying carnal delights on the side, do you? Oh and by the way, this is the hardest thing to understand for someone in your position. You could have been a supermodel and he would still be attracted to hookers. So sadly, like most guys who do this when in relationships, it is not about you, your looks, or anything you did or didn't do. He is going to keep doing it because he gets a rush by participating in The World's Oldest Profession. The illicit nature of it alone is enough rush to get him going back to feel it. There is no use trying to compare yourself to any of these other women, because you will always lose in the end. Sure he may tell you a lot of things. But his actions speak otherwise. If you are willing to accept this character flaw in your BF, then have right at it. But don't be surprised if you start discovering more things in the future that will bring you back here wondering what the hell is happening? I say spare yourself that journey back here and bail on him and run like hell. Guys like me(who adore women of ill repute) are not relationship material. And he isn't either. Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 He may be using those escort pictures as fantasy porn now. I do this sometimes myself now that I am pretty much retired from paying for sex like I used to. I had a great run and met so many wonderful women. I had the best time of my life..But its over, it was a phase. Would I go back to it? Yes I might if I was single and not dating. But ya know what? That lifestyle is only possible when you are very single. A guy who is in a relationship after having been with escorts, probably wants to be in a relationship. Or at least wants to try.. This idea that a human being is at the whim of their sexual desire, Implies that they lack control. Seeing escorts does not objectively and predictively cause one to loose all control of sexual desires. Link to post Share on other sites
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