Coworker nearly had a nervous breakdown yesterday! Never seen anything like it!

[Mapper71]

I have mentioned my coworker Chatty Cathy before who is constantly talking. Only likes to be part of the conversation when it can be turned into something about her. Never helps out with getting things back in order after we have a little get together in the office when everyone else is pitching in to clean up she just goes back to her desk and surfs the web. Spends at least half of her day every day either reading her book online, doing the NY Times crossword online, shopping on Amazon, cruising Facebook, etc. Thinks she is the most important person here and has more work than anyone else here and how can she possibly finish it, when she barely gets anything done due to being on the internet.

 

Well our dept is 13 people and there are 4 of us who are a specialized dept of that and we are all crammed in a small room together. Well, the company secured the first floor of the building next door for the 4 of us, after 9 months of waiting, and we finally moved in 2 days ago. Chatty no longer has her corner desk faced towards everyone where only her and I could see her screen. She now, very much to her dismay sits where anyone walking up from the back of the room can see what she's doing. She complained about this from the get go. First she was supposed to be in a different area, but there wasn't any window. Then she was supposed to sit in an area with a window, but she mentioned numerous times how she didn't want that set up because her desk would have to be placed in such a way that her back would be to everyone and her screen visible to everyone. After hearing her complain about that enough I finally told her I'd switch with her to shut her up. So now I'm there and she's on the other side of the room. Even with that desk she complained that she wanted it pushed back more so she could see out the window when the window spans the entire wall she sits next to! The reason she wanted it moved back is so that her screen wouldn't be as visible to people. Sorry, she lost that battle.

 

So the day we moved in we didn't get settled until late afternoon. Then she started complaining about how she can't handle the fluorescent lights or the new carpet smell and it's giving her a migraine. Repeated that a few times and then brought up about how when she first started in another area she wore a visor to keep the light out. She mentioned this to everyone who walked in that afternoon and to her husband who called her (he calls her 2-3 times everyday for no reason at all except to chat)! Then the facilities guy came over and she told him immediately about how the light needs to be taken down because she can't work. He didn't do anything because he was doing other things. At that point I left for the day.

 

Then yesterday was the big meltdown. Keep in mind this woman is 54 years old and has been at the company for 20 years so it's not like she's 22 right out of college. So no less than 30 minutes after she gets here and our manager comes over for our daily meeting AND the facilities guy is over again doing other things she starts ranting again how she can't do any work because of the lighting and has a migraine and the bulb HAS to come down right now because she is on the verge of going home and having a drink and she doesn't drink. The facilities guy goes "I understand, but I'm in the middle of doing 5 other things but I'll do this for you now". She then goes in a huff "I'll just do it myself" and kicks off her shoes and gets up on her desk as we all sit there looking at each other like "Wow really?" She then gets that done and then starts complaining about this new stand up desk she got, which I got as well where you can sit or stand. Starts saying how it's making her monitors too tilted and she can't work and she regrets ever getting it and is on the verge of telling them to take it away. Then says how the building is so ****ed up because the light switches are wonky and how she just wants to go back to the old place and work in her cozy corner. Keep in mind our manager is here for the whole scene and just says "Oh no, it looks like Jan isn't happy".

 

How does this woman keep a job here? She is all rattled because she's in a new area where she can't get away with all her spending time on the internet anymore. She's upset that people can see her screen, she's upset that she can't see everyone coming towards her, she's upset with the lighting, she's upset with her computer. We also got our bonuses that same day and what you get is dependent on how long you've been here. I've been here 4 years and she's been here 20 years. My bonus was $7000 and I'm sure hers was at least twice that, yet all she can do is rant and rave about her work space and throw a tantrum.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

She sounds pretty annoying, but it's entirely possible she is hyper sensitive to that lighting, and the carpet smells.

 

In my former life, when I had a traditional office job/office (instead of being self employed/home office), I always made sure my office was arranged in a way that people could not "sneak up on me." Not so much for privacy, but I didn't want to be startled all the time.

[Mapper71]

She sounds pretty annoying, but it's entirely possible she is hyper sensitive to that lighting, and the carpet smells.

 

In my former life, when I had a traditional office job/office (instead of being self employed/home office), I always made sure my office was arranged in a way that people could not "sneak up on me." Not so much for privacy, but I didn't want to be startled all the time.

 

Maybe so, but is that how she should act? By practically throwing a tantrum and calling everything f'd up and threatening to go home if it isn't fixed NOW? Especially right in front of our manager? She's 54 years old for god sake! Then to let everyone who came into the building to take a look at our new area just how much she can't handle the lighting and when everyone else said how nice the area was she'd say "Well it's not as great as you think".

[RedBaron2765]

Nothing to add except that she sounds like my SIL - needs to be the center of attention, never is at fault for anything, thinks the world needs to know her opinion and everything going on in her life, classic drama queen, spends all of her time on Facebook.

 

Don't know how you can stand it - I can barely tolerate my SIL for a little bit, and you're dealing with that every day.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Maybe so, but is that how she should act? By practically throwing a tantrum and calling everything f'd up and threatening to go home if it isn't fixed NOW? Especially right in front of our manager? She's 54 years old for god sake! Then to let everyone who came into the building to take a look at our new area just how much she can't handle the lighting and when everyone else said how nice the area was she'd say "Well it's not as great as you think".

 

lol no of course not!

[basil67]

Yes, that was a meltdown. My son does the same thing when confronted with too much change and/or sensory overload.

 

When it was obvious that she was going into a full meltdown, did any of you attempt to come to her assistance? Get her outside into the natural light and air? Go and get a drink of water in a quiet space and allow her the peace and space required to bring herself back down?

[MsJayne]

Constantly talking, self-absorbed, a lack of self-awareness, irresponsible and delusional with regard to her work, oblivious to the fact that her behaviour is impacting co-workers and affecting team morale......I'll diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder with a possible soupcon of menopausal neurosis. People with real migraines can't throw tantrums because they're too ill, so there's possibly a side-order of hypochondria being served up with that BPD , (hypochondria is often present as a secondary mental health issue in people with a more serious primary mental health issue). Some people think BPD is actually just a polite term for Annoying A-Hole, and I'm one of those people

I'd suggest ignoring Crazy Cathy as much as possible, unless you're brave enough to have a quiet word with her and politely but firmly point out that she is getting on people's nerves and the amount of company time she wastes is being noted.

[basil67]

Some people think BPD is actually just a polite term for Annoying A-Hole, and I'm one of those people

 

Some people probably feel this way because of other people online who go throwing around diagnosis of mental illness when they've got no idea what they are talking about. Someone who changes their mind a lot is BiPolar. Someone who's a bit uptight about how the house is organised is a OCD. I've heard a teacher (who I previously respected) make up an obnoxious acronym about a student who had an ASD dx. And on it goes. And now you're doing the same thing. Someone who's an Annoying A-hole is BPD.

 

BPD is a very real and debilitating mental illness. The daughter of a dear friend of mine has been recently diagnosed and her parents are now on first name terms with the local police, ambulance and mental health team. There have been numerous hospitilisations in the psych ward. Because of all this, she has zero self esteem and is making really bad - and potentially lethal - life choices. This isn't her being an annoying a-hole, this is a young woman who's promising future has been axed at the knees due to no fault of her own. At present, they are hoping for a window to get in and start retraining her brain while she's still young enough.

 

I hope you never have to learn first hand about what a mental illness such as BPD can do to a person. In the meantime, I suggest you keep uneducated opinions to yourself.

[LivingWaterPlease]

While the behavior of Chatty Cathy was annoying it was nowhere near a nervous breakdown. Have you ever seen anyone have a nervous breakdown? But, possibly you were overstating just to make a point which is understandable.

 

Going through menopause isn't easy for some women. For others it may be easier. But, being menopausal could account for some of Chatty's discomfort and complaining, though not excuse it.

[Mapper71]

While the behavior of Chatty Cathy was annoying it was nowhere near a nervous breakdown. Have you ever seen anyone have a nervous breakdown? But, possibly you were overstating just to make a point which is understandable.

 

Going through menopause isn't easy for some women. For others it may be easier. But, being menopausal could account for some of Chatty's discomfort and complaining, though not excuse it.

 

Well if she's going through menopause, she's been going through it for the 4 years I've been here! There's no excuse as to why she should have acted that way. She's been at the company for 20 years and she was basically pitching a fit because things are changing and she doesn't get a say in them and they don't accommodate her. She's so used to having everything go her way.

[Mapper71]

Constantly talking, self-absorbed, a lack of self-awareness, irresponsible and delusional with regard to her work, oblivious to the fact that her behaviour is impacting co-workers and affecting team morale......I'll diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder with a possible soupcon of menopausal neurosis. People with real migraines can't throw tantrums because they're too ill, so there's possibly a side-order of hypochondria being served up with that BPD , (hypochondria is often present as a secondary mental health issue in people with a more serious primary mental health issue). Some people think BPD is actually just a polite term for Annoying A-Hole, and I'm one of those people

I'd suggest ignoring Crazy Cathy as much as possible, unless you're brave enough to have a quiet word with her and politely but firmly point out that she is getting on people's nerves and the amount of company time she wastes is being noted.

 

Well we have been in our new space a total of 2 full days now and her chatting, although it has been cut back by not being seated right next to anybody, certainly hasn’t stopped her from talking. She will go on about the most mundane things like how we really need a large recycle bin. She has mentioned that over and over again along with a few kitchen items we need. It’s almost like that’s her main goal other than work. Then add to that she now sits at her desk when she takes personal calls on her cell phone like she doesn’t think we can hear her now that she’s 20 feet further away. Her husband called her within 5 minutes of her getting here on Friday to talk about some banking issue and then shortly thereafter her brother called her and she spent 20 minutes on the phone with him telling him how to cut and paste and post photos! I walked into my coworkers office after 10 minutes of her being on the phone with him and my coworker immediately turned to me with that “I know she’s been on the phone for a while” face. My coworker sort of leads our group and we said we need to talk to our manager about how much time she spends on the phone with personal phone calls and the fact that she sits at her desk and talks disturbing everyone. She has been noting just how much time is spent on personal calls for her and says some days it's up to an hour! Also the fact that she tends to find a way to find others to do the work that she doesn’t want to learn to do. My coworker said that we need to have our manager spam her with work next year so she doesn’t continue doing this. Quite honestly, she's pitching a fit because things aren't going the way she wants them. She lost her little cozy area where nobody could see how much time she was wasting on the computer, she has to have her back somewhat to people now so she doesn't know who is coming up behind her, she has to actually walk over to my desk and hand me work now rather than just turning around and placing it on my desk.

 

I won’t lie, I would love to see her get so upset that she has to work and can’t be on the phone, etc that she quits! She’s been coasting way too long at this company without anyone telling her what’s up. Chatty is more interested in the social aspect of work rather than the work itself.

Edited November 27, 2017 by Mapper71