Female hypocrisy or just lousy personality?

[Logo]

So now I need to ask: What do you mean by a woman "behaving like a teenager on the brink of a hissy fit?" Sounds like a heck of a lot more than a disinterested face in response to a smile.

 

Getting to the point of being on the brink of a hissy fit would usually be reserved for those who won't go away despite our clear lack of interest.

 

Just as far as facial expressions go in response to a friendly smile in a social setting.

[basil67]

The hypocrisy is in the act of the selective treatment of people based on those women's level of interest. If a man where to give a woman the finger, for example, whenever a woman smiled to him, women would accuse him of having a bad attitude and being a miserable misogynist.

 

No, hypocrisy is having one expectation of behaviour for yourself but a different expectation of behaviour in others.

 

And yes, if the same man did react that way to all women, then he would probably be a misogynist. Just as a woman who acted rudely to all men would probably be a misandrist. Not sure of your point

[elaine567]

Women out in a bar want to have fun and some dude smiling from the other end of the bar is not fun and can be seen as creepy, whereas the guys who come over and made their intentions known are far easier to deal with.

YOU may think the guy was a 4-5 but men, it seems to me, look at other men through men's eyes and they are often off the mark when it comes to ascertaining whether a guy is attractive to women.

 

A guy who comes over makes her laugh, seems like he wants her, is often far more attractive than some guy who smiles but does nothing else. The guy who made a move is right in her face and on her radar, the guy hanging back is just a face in the crowd.

Also some women are highly sensitive and self conscious, so faced with a smiling guy she may think he is actually laughing at her, so she shuts him down cold.

OR she never actually noticed him or the smile at all

OR he is just not her type and she wants to make that unambiguously clear.

Who knows?

 

Also his friends may make a huge difference, and a split second decision may be made on the friends alone...

[stillafool]

I must have known this answer a while back, but I forget.

 

Why do some women gush at men who say brazen or even rude things to them when they perceive those men to be “cool”, even if that guy looks like a trashy thug or slob? But when someone they perceive as educated and well mannered says the same or approaches them the same way, they treat him with absolute disdain?

 

 

I used to be perceived as cool, but now I have a suspicion that I’m perceived as Mr. nice guy. Although I’m not sure.

 

Why would an educated and well mannered guy say brazen and rude things to a woman anyway? Is it because he wants the same attention that the "cool" guy is getting from said woman? Why is the educated and well mannered guy interested in the same type of woman as the "cool" guy? Why isn't he looking for an educated and well mannered woman rather than the type that goes for the "cool" guy?

[elaine567]

Why would an educated and well mannered guy say brazen and rude things to a woman anyway?

 

That is what I wondered as well????

 

Basically charming people is like telling jokes, some people have the knack and have everyone laughing, they tap right into the mood and psyche of the "audience", they can often get away with "murder".

Others may not have the knack of joke telling but there is something endearing about them so everyone laughs anyway, others are so awful at it that that in itself is the joke...

 

However some people are just NOT funny, they cannot tell jokes, they may even offend and upset people with their attempts at humour, they miss the mark completely.

[somanymistakes]

Why do some men like bad girls and others don't?

 

Why do some men laugh at vulgar jokes and others don't?

 

Why are SOME PEOPLE not behaving in exactly the way I think people should? It's hypocrisy, I tell you!

[kendahke]

I would smile at her and she would give me a nasty look, instead of being friendly or at the very least civil and polite.

She doesn't owe you politeness. Girls aren't required to be nice.

 

Perhaps your smile creeped her out. She is entitled to decide for herself who she smiles at and for what reasons. You don't get to dictate that to her.

 

Still--she didn't owe you the response you expected.

 

Expectations are future resentments under construction.

 

A few minutes later, a group of complete strangers would be around her and her friends, with one guy's hand all over her as though he owns her and she would be ok with it, smiling.

 

I know they don't know each other because they have been apart the entire evening until that point. And those men have been chatting up other women.

Nope--you're speculating. You don't know if she knows him outside of this little bar and that's why her familiarity is what is it with him and not with you.

 

Here's what I'd like the answer to: you're at the bar with your friends, having a nice evening and from across the room, a girl you'd never find attractive in a million years locks eyes with you, smiles at you, as if she's looking for your visual permission to approach you and your friends. Your facial expression conveys the disgust you feel at this creature looking in your direction. Just then, someone you've known from school walks up to you and you are happy to see her; she hugs you, puts her hands on you playfully as she's visiting with you and your circle of friends.

 

Do you owe the girl you don't find attractive at all an audience just because she finds you attractive, but you don't find her attractive in the least? I mean, she deserves a chance, too, right? It shouldn't matter if you don't find her attractive--how you feel really isn't the issue. It's the nice girl who isn't your type and wants your attention whose feelings matter most, right?

 

Yeah, I knew you wouldn't agree. The same thing applies to this woman.

 

Let it go. You're not entitled to who you find attractive and women aren't required to be nice.

 

In my life travels, the guys who claim they are so nice, blah blah blah are some of the most manipulative and insincere people walking the planet.

Edited November 27, 2017 by kendahke