tcd421 Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 I have been talking to a woman I met online for 2 months and were finally set to meet this Saturday and last night apparently I made the mistake of admitting I cheated on a gf 5 years ago. I am not proud not of alot in my life I have done...I also have no issue about being up front and honest about it so what did I do wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Revealing the worst part of yourself is lousy 1st meet / 1st date conversation. If she point blank asked, you didn't have a choice. It was probably her way of weeding out people from OLD. If you volunteered this info, that is exactly where you went wrong. A 1st date is not a confessional. All 1st date conversation should be light & upbeat. It's an audition / job interview not a place to get absolution for past mistakes or to bare your soul. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 As a side issue, remember that early dating is about getting to know each other and deciding whether you like each other enough to stick it out for the long term. If you tell someone a truth about you and they break it off, that does not necessarily mean you made a mistake. That may mean that you did exactly what you should do, reveal information that makes them realise they don't want to date you, so you can both move on in quest of better matches. That doesn't mean you have to dump everything up front. But if you tell a lady you're a Catholic and she goes "oh, i don't date Catholics" and leaves, that doesn't mean you made a mistake, that means this was not a relationship that was ever going to work. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tcd421 Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 This may be a needed lesson to learn. Never volunteer bad info about yourself when dating? A she had no issue with another admission that I had been in prison though. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 This may be a needed lesson to learn. Never volunteer bad info about yourself when dating? A she had no issue with another admission that I had been in prison though. Maybe it was the combo. Shortly after my BIL got out of prison, we were all at a family wedding, where there were lots of single women who were friends of the bride. BIL was hitting on all of them. That was bad enough. I happened to hear his opening line -- "I just got out of prison." He was clearly looking for some bad boy street cred. When that woman walked about I practically dragged BIL outside by his tie & scolded him for such a stupid pick up line. He gave me some macho BS about not being embarrassed by what happened. I suggested he should be but that at the very least if he wanted to get laid (which was his obvious goal), he needed to lead with anything else because his opening line made him look like a desperate jerk. We went back inside & viola when he stopped announcing his recent release he finally got some women to dance with him. My point is keep certain negative information to yourself before and ON the 1st date. Let the new date get to know you as a person, then you can slowly disclose the bad stuff as you get to know each other. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 I would not volunteered that past dating history. Though if asked, I would never lie about cheating in the past. Lying about it now shows you not learning from your mistakes and being a better man today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tcd421 Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 Well she is texting me now will see how this works out. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Well she is texting me now will see how this works out. If she is still in contact, then she's willing to look beyond your past. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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