TheCasual Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 First of all I have no romantic intentions towards this girl. At the end of last year I got close to a girl who i was working with at the time. She use to stroke my hand between calls, tickle my knee with her false nails and generally be flirty. She begged me to meet all my friends and ended up getting quite close. For her 21st I bought her a really nice handmade gift and a thoughtful present. In August she was made redundant and I was kept on. She made all these promises about how we'd stay in contact etc. Since she left we have seen each other twice. Once was a night out at a mates bar and the other was a meal out just me and her. In the last few months it's felt like always me making the effort to message her etc. We've not spoke for a month now. It was also my Birthday at the start November and I didn't even a text or even a Facebook post from her. I loved our flirty banter and friendship and just really hurt, rejected and let down. I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to delete her off every thing and forget her and the other just wants to know what I've done wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 It's always disappointing losing a friend, but friends will come and go all throughout your life. Especially work friends. She will become a distant memory as you move on and make new friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Get together one more time. Tell her you feel like you are growing apart. Then accept what she says and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 I don't know if this is relevant. But around March time she was sending me nudes. Pretty heavy stuff as well. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 You have no romantic intentions toward her. She had plenty towards you. For heavens sake she sent you nude pictures. Do you think she sends those to all her platonic friends? She's pulling away because you want to be "just friends" while she wants more. If you are unwilling to try a romance with her, let her be. She can't be just friends with you; it hurts too much to be around you & have you repeatedly reject her. If you care at all about her, set her free. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 You have no romantic intentions toward her. She had plenty towards you. For heavens sake she sent you nude pictures. Do you think she sends those to all her platonic friends? She's pulling away because you want to be "just friends" while she wants more. If you are unwilling to try a romance with her, let her be. She can't be just friends with you; it hurts too much to be around you & have you repeatedly reject her. If you care at all about her, set her free. Why do OP's always leave out the most important facts in their first post. If the OP would of told us the full truth up front we all would of been able to tell him that she wanted to be more than a girl friend. She wanted to be his girlfriend. Let her go unless you are ready to be her boyfriend. She does not need any boy friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 The nudes thing just slipped my mind because I don't look at her in that way. I appreciate the responses. It's made me think I've maybe sending her the wrong signals. I just want a friendship with her where I can go for a few beers and good time with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 She message me about two weeks ago, but I didn't reply. I don't know what to do now because I don't want to lead her on or give her false hope. But I do want our flirty bantery friendship back. I've spoken to a couple of girls who we worked with and they're convinced she had something for me. Why can't male and female friendships be simple Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 She message me about two weeks ago, but I didn't reply. I don't know what to do now because I don't want to lead her on or give her false hope. But I do want our flirty bantery friendship back. I've spoken to a couple of girls who we worked with and they're convinced she had something for me. Why can't male and female friendships be simple Why? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Men/women do not need a boy friend/girl Friend they want and need a boyfriend/girlfriend. There is no reason to have an opposite sex friend. Unless she is the one that is also your girlfriend/wife. Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 There is no reason to have an opposite sex friend. Unless she is the one that is also your girlfriend/wife. Generalisations are never good (see what I did there? ). It merely takes a single example to prove you wrong. I have an opposite sex friend who I've known for 33 years, and she's one of my dearest friends. We've helped each other through strings of failed relationships, career changes, house moves, and all the other ups and downs of life. She's like a sister to me and I wouldn't give her up for any reason. I've also had plenty of other female friends and it's never been an issue. People who think there can be no such thing as an opposite gender friendship are either ignorant, or are themselves incapable of it (usually men who can only think with their "other" brain) and exhibiting the false consensus effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect). Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 Why can't male and female friendships be simple Boxes versus ball of wire. Nothing will ever be simple about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 I've still not spoken her. I don't really no what say. I do miss her. Looking back I can't believe I didn't see she liked me. Maybe if I had spotted it earlier I can't of made things easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted March 11, 2018 Author Share Posted March 11, 2018 A few weeks ago we arrange to meet up, but I cancelled because it clashed with football and she was like it's fine. Then I told her about another girl that i like, who is being really flakey with me and messing me around. Just asking for advice. She was really angry was trreating to slash her face and stuff. Then last Saturday we agreed to go out. She was being really awkward about where to go. She kept saying no to thing I suggested. She said she wanted some quiet and casual. She ended up cancelling because she forgot she had a work charity boxing thing to go to and had forgotten about. She was like I'm really sorry. I'd rather see you etc xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 We've seen each other a few times since the start of the year. Seen each other a couple of times. I'm not sure if I should be upset or not, but I am. It was her 22nd birthday day yesterday and I wrote nice message on her Facebook wall, wishing her a nice birthday and I'd got her a birthday present. Everyone else who wrote her wall got a 'love' and a thank you and I was the only person who didn't get anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Striver Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 We've seen each other a few times since the start of the year. Seen each other a couple of times. I'm not sure if I should be upset or not, but I am. It was her 22nd birthday day yesterday and I wrote nice message on her Facebook wall, wishing her a nice birthday and I'd got her a birthday present. Everyone else who wrote her wall got a 'love' and a thank you and I was the only person who didn't get anything. You should not be upset. You have no right to be upset. You have a right to not have any romantic interest in this woman. She clearly had romantic interest in you. You didn't respond. She moved on. I will be honest with you. You are reacting in a manner that makes you look selfish, clueless, and lacking empathy with other people. You cannot understand or sympathize with her point of view, despite repeated explanations from others here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted October 12, 2018 Author Share Posted October 12, 2018 After months of saying no to meeting up with her. I agreed to meet up with her for dinner. I gave her a birthday present and told her we'll never be more then friends. She seemed okay with this and it help me relax and I started to enjoy the night. Strangely she told me how her breasts have got bigger and she'd slept with our ex manager who she previous had a fling with. She then started making plans for the future. She wants to make meeting up a monthly and wants me go to Dublin with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted October 13, 2018 Share Posted October 13, 2018 A couple of things come to mind. The first being that I'm not sure you are being honest with yourself when you say you have no romantic feelings towards her. But if you are being honest than you are also being obtuse (men don't forget/overlook nude photos) while also potentially greedy. You want her to be flirty with you to boost your ego but you don't want to reciprocate? Finally... She was really angry was trreating to slash her face and stuff. Strangely she told me how her breasts have got bigger and she'd slept with our ex manager who she previous had a fling with. She then started making plans for the future. She wants to make meeting up a monthly and wants me go to Dublin with her. Run... Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheCasual Posted October 14, 2018 Author Share Posted October 14, 2018 A couple of things come to mind. The first being that I'm not sure you are being honest with yourself when you say you have no romantic feelings towards her. But if you are being honest than you are also being obtuse (men don't forget/overlook nude photos) while also potentially greedy. You want her to be flirty with you to boost your ego but you don't want to reciprocate? Finally... Run... I greatly enjoy our flirty bantery friendship. I want her to find love. I've tried to encourage her. She was complaining about how she can't get a BF Link to post Share on other sites
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