Men and Women in Dating

[Mysterio]

Who does it seem to you have an easier time in Dating.

 

For me it feels like women do. They are wine and dinned at the least. I also feel like guys cator to them a little more. Where is I don't see that from the women towards the men as much.

 

My friend DT wanted to do a double movie with me, in which we saw two movies back to back, but he did not want his GF to be with their kids all day with out a break. Although it would have been short noticed. I just have no sympathy for her. Since she is still legally tied to her first husband and it looks like she is doing nothing about it. She does not say to herself how does my buddy DT feel about it.

 

It makes me a little cold to her, as I would not stand for that at all. So it just comes to me that in our modern day society. Women are catored to by men more than the other way around.

[basil67]

I don't see that either sex has it easier than the other. If you spend a bit of time here reading, you will see heartbreak and confusion coming equally from both sides.

 

Sure, men might find some parts of dating easier than a woman and vice verca. But there's no clear winner.

[alphamale]

when young women have the advantage in dating whereas when older it is men who have the advantage

[GemmaUK]

I don't think either sex have it easier.

 

If I found myself starting to think that or that any one person has it easier I'd be aware I was getting bitter and would swiftly address my attitude.

 

Plus it would be none of my business to make assumptions about a friend's partner, nor would I 'act cold' towards them over an assumption I had made.

If a friend is having issues with a partner I will listen, be supportive and offer help if they ask for it - that's the only part that's my job.

[basil67]

My friend DT wanted to do a double movie with me, in which we saw two movies back to back, but he did not want his GF to be with their kids all day with out a break. Although it would have been short noticed. I just have no sympathy for her. Since she is still legally tied to her first husband and it looks like she is doing nothing about it. She does not say to herself how does my buddy DT feel about it.

 

Well how does your buddy feel about it?

[ZA Dater]

I don't think one or the other has an easier time of it but I do think there do seem to be more struggling guys but that is subjective at best.

 

 

Perhaps its easier to say there are some common attributes across that make some people battle more than others. As I guy I appreciate the fact ladies need to put up with guys looking for sex only.

 

 

On the other hand I can understand why the guy who has been rejected 20 times when he actually wants to date resorts to looking for sex only.

 

 

Bottom line is unless you are gifted with amazing physical looks or material wealthy dating is hard and it can be hard even if you have those two but those two do make it easier to meet people.

 

 

If I think about the ladies who have had the biggest positive impact on me as a person, one is unbelievably gorgeous, she can go out with anyone, yet she battles to date, she dates but the guys are never what she really wants. For all her looks she looks at everyone equally. As a person for me she is a shining example of good.

[GuitarGuy7]

When it comes to online dating, young decent looking women have it easier by far. In fact, it's not even close.

 

A decently attractive woman on OkCupid can write nothing in her profile and still get 200+ messages. And out of these hundreds of men, you're going to find someone you find attractive enough. You're definitely going to get dates as long as you're willing.

 

Men on the other hand, may send out 100 messages on OkCupid and may only get anywhere from 20 to 10 messages, depending on how attractive he is and the quality of messages he sends. But even the hottest guy on OkCupid gets far less messages than your average looking girl on OkCupid does.

[GuitarGuy7]

If the woman is young, beautiful, and not fat, dating is going to be easier. Getting dates, getting boyfriend likely wont be an issue. There's a reason why my mom, sister, and all of my female cousins went through boyfriend after boyfriend in their early twenties. This is the reality for young attractive women.

 

However, women who are unattractive and fat actually have it harder than unattractive men do. And the reason for this is because for a woman, 90% of her dating value is based on physical appearence where for a man it might be 50-75%. At least for a man, if they're unattractive they can make up for it by being funny, being charismatic, being rich, or being succesful. Women on the other hand, are judged for their looks and beauty in so much regard that it's harder for ugly women to find someone.

 

Consequently, this is also the same reason that women age worse. Because a woman has more to lose by becoming old and ugly.

[hotpotato]

Those movies and dinners arent 'free.' Thet are often a quid pro quo.

 

Also, id rather have fewer messages of better quality. Imay havr to go through 100,200 messages (many of which are filthy), to find a man or two who will actually have a phone convo with me.

 

There are men who have it easy and women who have it easy.

[GoodOnPaper]

It’s difficult to directly compare men and women in this regard - we have such different pressure points in the dating/relationship process. Most of the time, the initial attraction stage is the most difficult part for the average guy while for women, it’s often the conversion of a relationship from casual to committed. I’m pushing 50 and my lifetime number of first dates has a single digit but the vast majority of those led to something exclusive. Of course, I’d still rather have been better at attracting women even if a lower percent of dates led to relationships.

[BluEyeL]

If the woman is young, beautiful, and not fat, dating is going to be easier. Getting dates, getting boyfriend likely wont be an issue. There's a reason why my mom, sister, and all of my female cousins went through boyfriend after boyfriend in their early twenties. This is the reality for young attractive women.

 

However, women who are unattractive and fat actually have it harder than unattractive men do. And the reason for this is because for a woman, 90% of her dating value is based on physical appearence where for a man it might be 50-75%. At least for a man, if they're unattractive they can make up for it by being funny, being charismatic, being rich, or being succesful. Women on the other hand, are judged for their looks and beauty in so much regard that it's harder for ugly women to find someone.

 

Consequently, this is also the same reason that women age worse. Because a woman has more to lose by becoming old and ugly.

I agree with this, except for the statement that women age worse, I don't think that's true based on my experience.

 

Since I am a woman who dated in my early 40s and I was moderately fat, i.e., not skinny-not obese, but a single mother too (one kid, self sufficient and with home and career) I can attest that I never received over 200 messages a day. I did not have a hard time getting dates though, but it took abut 1.5 years to get a boyfriend.

 

I believe in their 20s women are in more demand but the situation reverses in the 30s and up.

[alphamale]

I believe in their 20s women are in more demand but the situation reverses in the 30s and up.

 

that's what I said in post #3

[Mysterio]

Its just the way things are. If you look at it. All across culture. Young women are worshipped.

 

Men and Women are on different levels when it comes to dati ng. In our modern day society. They are pursued. Be they married or not. Its just the way things are.

 

Its been stated that men only want sex and here is my take. We men know where to go for that pure outlet. When we ask you women out for a date. We see potential LTR.

 

A lot of men get razzled by the looks and don't think straight. They just do what she wants. It takes a strong sense of self to get out of that. I think that men and women have to use what they got to get ahead.

 

I don't know why. It never feels natural for me to ask a woman out on a date. I always feel funny. I always feel that its beneath me. Like Its a negative to me and I have to bow down to a woman to have her interested to me.

 

I wish this part of out lives was more cut and dry and it did not take a lot to make this happen. We are all here trying to make love happen in out lives.

 

Its just interesting to me that both gender go about it differently.

[RecentChange]

A few thoughts on this.

 

First, Iife isn't fair. That said.

 

Men chase.... And women? We get to pick from the men who chase us. While men get to choose who they chase. Don't forget that power dynamic.

 

Yes we have choice - choice to pick among the choices men give us. Even now, socially it is generally frowned upon for a woman to choose a man then chase him.

 

As for this dates = desire for long term relationship. Perhaps for YOU, but many men have no intention of hiring a prostitute, and well, they use dating as a means to get sex. Doesn't mean they think she is Mrs forever, it means he want Mrs tonight.

 

I know that's not true for all men, but it most certainly is for some.

[basil67]

Its just the way things are. If you look at it. All across culture. Young women are worshipped.

 

Young women may be worshiped, but older women are not. Hence, women as a complete gender do not have it easier.

 

I would also argue that it's probably only pretty young women who are truly worshiped. So, we're looking at a subset of women. Probably the same amount of young men who are worshiped by women.

[Mysterio]

For me. I don't see men just getting rid of their older wives. Unless that wife is really off.

 

I don't find these young girls really appealing looks wise. Lets take Taylor Swift. She is Pretty, but I don't feel any attraction to her. Now Susan Sarandon. Thats a different story. She has more character to her face at 71 and is still a beauty.

 

Perhaps we are all to to focussed on how to get love, instead of just having it come to us in our own time.

 

I really want a change. I don't know why at age 46 this love stuff is such a big deal, when in reality the body/jobs/friends etc go in and out of our lives. Nothing is constant. That just the way it is..

 

I also feel like if I don't do anything. Nothing will happen. Yet some of my friends have done nothing and things have happened for them. Its that push vs chill thing that boggles my head.

 

I just think that something has changed in our society. My Parents got together and it was cut and dry in late 1968 and married in 1969. For me it feels like an obstacle course and nothing is ever really a sure thing.

Edited November 28, 2017 by Mysterio