Just found out he is cheating

[Highndry]

Most guys sex and love are two separate things...they can have great sex without the emotional attachment. Sex is just sex.

 

Women are mistaken thinking it's love/emotion when they are told the sex is mind blowing.

 

I agree with this though I will say as a man I enjoy sex much more with a woman I love. It's on a different level.

[Highndry]

I feel pretty gutted.

 

He was telling me all along how he is not into hookups. He also told me that after we met through OLD, he canceled all his other dates that he set up before meeting me. He felt it's wrong to even chat to other women on those sites since he felt such a strong connection to me. So he ended all the communication with them and told them that he is now seeing someone. He also told his parents and all his work collegues about me. He really led me to believe that we are now in a relationship.

 

I just wonder if it was all play and lies or if he lost interest somewhere along the very short way (6 weeks).

 

You weren't even together 2 months so I think you can pretty much conclude it was 100% BS.

[S2B]

I feel pretty gutted.

 

He was telling me all along how he is not into hookups. He also told me that after we met through OLD, he canceled all his other dates that he set up before meeting me. He felt it's wrong to even chat to other women on those sites since he felt such a strong connection to me. So he ended all the communication with them and told them that he is now seeing someone. He also told his parents and all his work collegues about me. He really led me to believe that we are now in a relationship.

 

I just wonder if it was all play and lies or if he lost interest somewhere along the very short way (6 weeks).

 

Stop thinking too much about it. Just be grateful you dodged a liar and a cheater!

[Mx12345]

I feel pretty gutted.

 

He was telling me all along how he is not into hookups. He also told me that after we met through OLD, he canceled all his other dates that he set up before meeting me. He felt it's wrong to even chat to other women on those sites since he felt such a strong connection to me. So he ended all the communication with them and told them that he is now seeing someone. He also told his parents and all his work collegues about me. He really led me to believe that we are now in a relationship.

 

I just wonder if it was all play and lies or if he lost interest somewhere along the very short way (6 weeks).

 

 

My incident happened literally 4 days ago so I am in the exact same boat as you. Had me meet his family when they came into town, and told me he hadn't introduced his family to any girl in over two years because it was such a big deal to him. Told his coworkers about the "amazing girl" he was dating and bringing to their holiday party. Deleted all of the dating sites he was on and even unfollowed on Instagram girls he knew just through online dating. Supposedly told other girls he had a few dates with that he was seeing someone exclusively and for them not to text him anymore.

 

 

And just like you, it was only two months but I really let my guard down with this guy and I had not done that in a very long time. I felt like I could trust him. And now I'm left wondering if it was all a lie. The sad thing about mine is the guy I was dating is super religious. I was not raised religious but I do not have anything against it. He asked if I would ever go to church with him and I said I would and I meant it. Yet he was lying and really was still on a dating site and talking to other girls, all the while telling me everything was fine and I was imagining that something was off. So much for being a honest, religious person.

 

 

All I can tell you is you are better off knowing now, only a few weeks in, rather than 6 months or a year from now. Good luck to you!

[suckered]

My incident happened literally 4 days ago so I am in the exact same boat as you. Had me meet his family when they came into town, and told me he hadn't introduced his family to any girl in over two years because it was such a big deal to him. Told his coworkers about the "amazing girl" he was dating and bringing to their holiday party. Deleted all of the dating sites he was on and even unfollowed on Instagram girls he knew just through online dating. Supposedly told other girls he had a few dates with that he was seeing someone exclusively and for them not to text him anymore.

 

 

And just like you, it was only two months but I really let my guard down with this guy and I had not done that in a very long time. I felt like I could trust him. And now I'm left wondering if it was all a lie. The sad thing about mine is the guy I was dating is super religious. I was not raised religious but I do not have anything against it. He asked if I would ever go to church with him and I said I would and I meant it. Yet he was lying and really was still on a dating site and talking to other girls, all the while telling me everything was fine and I was imagining that something was off. So much for being a honest, religious person.

 

 

All I can tell you is you are better off knowing now, only a few weeks in, rather than 6 months or a year from now. Good luck to you!

 

What's wrong with these men? Gah. They really went overboard, and for what? Some sex? Just boggles my mind.

[Highndry]

My incident happened literally 4 days ago so I am in the exact same boat as you. Had me meet his family when they came into town, and told me he hadn't introduced his family to any girl in over two years because it was such a big deal to him. Told his coworkers about the "amazing girl" he was dating and bringing to their holiday party. Deleted all of the dating sites he was on and even unfollowed on Instagram girls he knew just through online dating. Supposedly told other girls he had a few dates with that he was seeing someone exclusively and for them not to text him anymore.

 

 

And just like you, it was only two months but I really let my guard down with this guy and I had not done that in a very long time. I felt like I could trust him. And now I'm left wondering if it was all a lie. The sad thing about mine is the guy I was dating is super religious. I was not raised religious but I do not have anything against it. He asked if I would ever go to church with him and I said I would and I meant it. Yet he was lying and really was still on a dating site and talking to other girls, all the while telling me everything was fine and I was imagining that something was off. So much for being a honest, religious person.

 

 

All I can tell you is you are better off knowing now, only a few weeks in, rather than 6 months or a year from now. Good luck to you!

 

That's the guys' version of love-bombing. When I look back upon my previous relationship, specifically how it started out and how quickly she ingratiated herself with me, I realize now that people who move this fast and say those sorts of things are phony manipulators, and highly damaged.

[amazonrambo]

You didn't do anything wrong. All I was pointing out was that you had so little trust. Turns out you had reason to be suspicious so you now know you can trust your own gut.

 

He's gone. It was quick & relatively painless. Hopefully you will have a clean bill of health.

 

Anyone worth this much trouble worrying about isn't worth it, just check out my thread and see how much overthinking I've done and got nothing out of it. Just wastes your time.

 

People who like you make it easy for you and it didn't seem like this guy did. You'd have been questioning his trust for months and a relationship has to be built on trust.

[Mx12345]

What's wrong with these men? Gah. They really went overboard, and for what? Some sex? Just boggles my mind.

 

 

 

The sad part is, if I did do something you didn't like, said something that seemed off, made you question if you wanted to continue dating me (because I am by no means perfect) then SAY SOMETHING! Don't say "you're imagining things" when I say that something seems off between us when you've obviously been being distant. I think in both our cases the guy wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

 

 

Keep getting sex on the reg while trying to find someone new to date. Its pathetic.

[suckered]

I just feel used and awful.

 

I had genuine intentions and he was leading me to believe that he did too. And then, he just blocked me like nuisance. I wasn't even worth a proper conversation after all the weekends and sleep overs we spent together. After all the future plans we made. He never even said "it's over". That's gotta be the must cruel way I was dumped.

[Highndry]

I just feel used and awful.

 

I had genuine intentions and he was leading me to believe that he did too. And then, he just blocked me like nuisance. I wasn't even worth a proper conversation after all the weekends and sleep overs we spent together. After all the future plans we made. He never even said "it's over". That's gotta be the must cruel way I was dumped.

 

It's small consolation but just be happy it was sooner than later. You don't want to find yourself tangled up with this type of person for years. After being with a woman two years, I realized she was so shallow that she could throw it all away after a month or ten years all the same, with little regard for me or anyone else she's dating. That's how she rolls.

[kendahke]

Most guys sex and love are two separate things...they can have great sex without the emotional attachment. Sex is just sex.

 

Women are mistaken thinking it's love/emotion when they are told the sex is mind blowing.

 

This is so true.

 

I had the best sex in my life with my ex, and to this day, he would tell you so, but he still cheated and would create emotional distance---that's when I knew something was up.

 

Having had mindblowing sex the day before means nothing except you had mindblowing sex. If he's not emotionally 100% and moving into deeper emotional waters with you, then you don't have what you think you have with him because he's already checked out of the relationship, but he's not going to pass up easy and convenient access to sex from you until the new honey is lined up.

 

You don't need to track anyone or snoop to figure that out--you just have to trust your gut, the one thing in this world you can count on and trust. People will tell you anything, but your gut will always tell you the truth--and a lot of times, it's truth you don't want to hear because it goes against what you want. When you don't listen to your gut, you engage in deceiving yourself, then you wind up doing crazy things like tracking them on facebook and whatnot.

[suckered]

This is so true.

 

I had the best sex in my life with my ex, and to this day, he would tell you so, but he still cheated and would create emotional distance---that's when I knew something was up.

 

Having had mindblowing sex the day before means nothing except you had mindblowing sex. If he's not emotionally 100% and moving into deeper emotional waters with you, then you don't have what you think you have with him because he's already checked out of the relationship, but he's not going to pass up easy and convenient access to sex from you until the new honey is lined up.

 

You don't need to track anyone or snoop to figure that out--you just have to trust your gut, the one thing in this world you can count on and trust. People will tell you anything, but your gut will always tell you the truth--and a lot of times, it's truth you don't want to hear because it goes against what you want. When you don't listen to your gut, you engage in deceiving yourself, then you wind up doing crazy things like tracking them on facebook and whatnot.

 

I wasn't sure if sense of emotional distance was in my mind only because he assured me nothing was wrong. I needed some factual confirmation and there was an easy way to get it. He actually switched on his location tracking himself (it's not on by default on Facebook). I didn't have to do anything else to snoop/track him.

[Space Ritual]

I wasn't sure if sense of emotional distance was in my mind only because he assured me nothing was wrong. I needed some factual confirmation and there was an easy way to get it. He actually switched on his location tracking himself (it's not on by default on Facebook). I didn't have to do anything else to snoop/track him.

 

 

When people go out of their way to keep assuring you there is nothing wrong...there is something wrong.

 

You have done quite well considering thus far

[kendahke]

I wasn't sure if sense of emotional distance was in my mind only because he assured me nothing was wrong. I needed some factual confirmation and there was an easy way to get it. He actually switched on his location tracking himself (it's not on by default on Facebook). I didn't have to do anything else to snoop/track him.

 

Yes, it was in your mind because it was there. It didn't require you stoop to this behavior in order to get answers. Your gut was already telling you the answer, but you didn't want to hear it because it didn't fit the narrative you were feeding yourself.

 

Frankly, the more worrying thing you should be concerned with is how easily you dismiss your gut and don't trust it when it was already telling you the truth. That's more alarming than a guy who isn't where he said he was.