valerie14 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 He broke up with me about a week ago. He said I took him for granted and he didn’t deserve that. I’ve been completely broken without him. I tried everything to feel better this week but nothing seemed to be working. So after 6 days of NC I texted and asked if we can meet up so I can give him his things back, get closure positivity and peace with us. He replied saying yes we should meet and that he wants peace a positivity, but didn’t say anything about closure or his stuff back. I told him I still miss him and that if he just wants to talk about closure thats fine but there are some things I want to say concerning the end of the relationship and if that was okay. I also said I appreciated that he was meeting with me. He said “absolutely you can say whatever I’m happy were meeting”. Im getting neutral mixed signals to if he wants to get back together and I want to know how to go about this “talk” were having tomorrow. I don’t want him to run away so I’m not gonna strait up ask to get back together. I don’t know what to say in this talk to make him want me back after it. Im going to look great, be happy, and confident but I don’t know what to say. I want this back so much. Advice please Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I’d cancel because you might feel worse after this meeting. 6 days isn’t enough to reflect on anything. What if he found someone else and that’s why he broke it off ? I’d cancel and see what he does since he broke up with you it’s up to him to get YOU back! If he regretted it you would have known by now Link to post Share on other sites
Author valerie14 Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 Hi thanks for the message, I know he didn't break it off for someone else because he was still madly fighting for the relationship a day before it happened. Then it seemed like his parents talked to him and he just gave up. Im not sure on his intentions for meeting or how if I cancel it, should I go about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Hi thanks for the message, I know he didn't break it off for someone else because he was still madly fighting for the relationship a day before it happened. Then it seemed like his parents talked to him and he just gave up. Im not sure on his intentions for meeting or how if I cancel it, should I go about it. Why would his parents encourage him to break it off? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 You said that he broke up with you because you weren't treating him well. You also said the day before he was "madly fighting for the relationship." Now that he's broken up with you, you have woken up & realized what you lost. You say you want this relationship back but your actions before he actually pulled the trigger tell a different tale. If he was "madly fighting for the relationship" before things ended, why didn't you change & be more attentive to his needs? If his needs were unreasonable, then this is not a good match for you & there is no need to reconcile. If his needs were reasonable & you failed to give him what he wants to the point where his parents recommended a break up because they were so sad to see him upset all the time, let the man go. You also said you want to "get closure positivity" and that "he wants peace a positivity". What do you mean by that? I never heard that phrase before. As for closure, that comes from you. It may be nice for him if you can apologize. It's good that you are giving each other your stuff back. Once this meeting ends, things need to be over so you can both heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author valerie14 Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 You said that he broke up with you because you weren't treating him well. You also said the day before he was "madly fighting for the relationship." Now that he's broken up with you, you have woken up & realized what you lost. You say you want this relationship back but your actions before he actually pulled the trigger tell a different tale. If he was "madly fighting for the relationship" before things ended, why didn't you change & be more attentive to his needs? If his needs were unreasonable, then this is not a good match for you & there is no need to reconcile. If his needs were reasonable & you failed to give him what he wants to the point where his parents recommended a break up because they were so sad to see him upset all the time, let the man go. You also said you want to "get closure positivity" and that "he wants peace a positivity". What do you mean by that? I never heard that phrase before. As for closure, that comes from you. It may be nice for him if you can apologize. It's good that you are giving each other your stuff back. Once this meeting ends, things need to be over so you can both heal. Hi, when he was fighting for it I did change my intentions and apologized for everything. The fight was about me not taking the 3 hours in the day he was willing to hang out with me. I thought I deserved more he didn't so he got angry with me. In the end I put all the blame on myself but it's like a switch went off and he gave up. And by peace and positivity I mean to not be bitter and hate each other. To be able to be in the same room and be positive and outgoing. That's what I meant but that. I realize why I did wrong by not taking the time and I spent days apologizing and I plan to in this talk to. I'm not sure if I should cancel or not. I still want to be in this and I spent a while fighting for it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author valerie14 Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 Why would his parents encourage him to break it off? Hi, his parents are extremely protective of him. I've been upset by the hands of this relationship before and my parents have seen it but they know that comes with being in a relationship. His on the other hand can't stand to see him upset ever and without knowing the full story put the blame on me a lot because he is upset. I guess I should give up. It just hurts a lot to see him go and I feel like I can't bare it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Let me get this straight. Days before the break up he wanted to hang out with you for 3 hours but because you wanted to hang out longer & he couldn't, you opted not to see him at all & then you broke up? You both need to learn to compromise. Without compromise, there is no relationship. Nobody gets 100% of what they want all the time. You don't need a meeting to not be bitter or hate each other. I don't see any reason in this break up for such strong emotions. You are breaking up. Nobody intentionally harmed anybody else. It's just one of those things that didn't work out. You wish each other well: you lick your wounds & you get on with life. When you bump into one another fortuitously you act civilly & move on. No harm no foul; no fuss no muss Link to post Share on other sites
Author valerie14 Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 Let me get this straight. Days before the break up he wanted to hang out with you for 3 hours but because you wanted to hang out longer & he couldn't, you opted not to see him at all & then you broke up? You both need to learn to compromise. Without compromise, there is no relationship. Nobody gets 100% of what they want all the time. You don't need a meeting to not be bitter or hate each other. I don't see any reason in this break up for such strong emotions. You are breaking up. Nobody intentionally harmed anybody else. It's just one of those things that didn't work out. You wish each other well: you lick your wounds & you get on with life. When you bump into one another fortuitously you act civilly & move on. No harm no foul; no fuss no muss I actually opted we hang out a different day later that week thinking it was not a big deal. He though different. I am rethinking my decisions to have this talk and think I'm going to cancel and give his stuff to his friend I have a class with. Do you have any advice in what I should say to cancel. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Do you have any advice in what I should say to cancel. After thinking it over, I don't think meeting is in my best interest. I'm going to give your stuff to [friend] to give to you. Please give my stuff to [same friend]. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author valerie14 Posted November 28, 2017 Author Share Posted November 28, 2017 After thinking it over, I don't think meeting is in my best interest. I'm going to give your stuff to [friend] to give to you. Please give my stuff to [same friend]. Best wishes. Thank you. I'm really going to be doing a lot of thinking today. My mom was saying I really don't have anything to lose by going into this talk. Worse comes to worse we're still broken up and I'm back on no contact. So I may do it and see where my apologies and words can get me. I'll keep the thread updated on what happens hopfully to get some more advice on how to move on after giving his stuff back if it dosent go well. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 You do have something to lose more feelings, it could go either way... you could feel okay after or maybe worse. I would cancel! I’d apologize and say something came up and have his stuff mailed to his house since his parents are playing games why bother dropping it off. If he changes his mind and wants to get back you’ll be the first to know. Link to post Share on other sites
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