Can you want someone, but not want to be with them?

[LenaBean94]

I know you can like someone, but then there’s actually wanting someone. I don’t mean want someone sexually-someone that you have an emotional attachment to.

 

1.That being said, what’s the difference between liking and wanting?

2. Can you want someone that you have an emotional attachment to, but not want to be with them? Like for example, you and an ex breakup, you still love each other, and you still want each other-does this mean at the very least a part of you still wants to be with them?

 

I’m having this debate/discussion with my sister now. She believes if you want, not just like someone, you still want to be with them. I hope all of this made sense haha.

[smackie9]

You can be emotionally attached, but not want to be with them romantically...it's called the friends zone.

 

If you desire someone, but have no emotional attachment then it's called lust.

[LenaBean94]

You can be emotionally attached, but not want to be with them romantically...it's called the friends zone.

 

If you desire someone, but have no emotional attachment then it's called lust.

 

So even if you have romantic feelings but not want to be with them, then it's still the friend zone?

[smackie9]

fondness can be mistaken for romantic feelings. When you don't want to be with them means not enough attraction is there. If it was strong enough, you wouldn't care about anything but wanting to be with that person.

[smackie9]

I myself have had a real fondness for someone, BUT there was no way I would ever date them because they don't meet my expectations or what I actually look for in a partner. They don't make the cut.

[chinadiary]

I want my ex, but don't really want to be with him anymore. I can't deal with the ****ty family that comes with him. Doesn't stop the yearning though.

[carhill]

I know you can like someone, but then there’s actually wanting someone. I don’t mean want someone sexually-someone that you have an emotional attachment to.

 

I think a clear definition of 'want' is in order

 

1.That being said, what’s the difference between liking and wanting?

I'll take a shot.... 'Liking' is feeling attracted to them. 'Wanting' is them possessing something in their personal milieu and/or lifestyle that one wants for themselves.

2. Can you want someone that you have an emotional attachment to, but not want to be with them?

Sure, especially, of course granting credence to my explanation prior, where there is no like but the person has something one wants, like emotional satisfaction/intimacy/empathy/sex.

Like for example, you and an ex breakup, you still love each other, and you still want each other-does this mean at the very least a part of you still wants to be with them?

That presumes a lot and includes mind-reading so is a bit beyond my capabilities. When my exW and I 'broke up', I have no way to know what was in her mind but she was dead in mine and the result was a divorce filing so I presume we were about even there.

 

I’m having this debate/discussion with my sister now. She believes if you want, not just like someone, you still want to be with them. I hope all of this made sense haha.

Well, it is hard to write in generalities when each of us is unique but I gotta share that plenty of women have 'wanted' me in life but very few have wanted to be with me. The worst? The married ones. They were so bad in their want that I came to have a label for them, Hoovers, like the vacuum cleaner. They'd hoover attention and intimacy and whatever else they could suck up and then toss the bag in the trash. They, and others in that particular 'want' category don't really care about the vessel rather only what it is carrying. If that product benefits them, excellent. That doesn't mean they want to swab the deck or paint the bulkheads or repair the engine.