Urge to date again after long pause.

[CristianConnects]

I admit it u haven't met me, I just want to say I haven't had a real girlfriend since HS. I was 17 and 8 yrs later I've tried spontaneously hooking up on online sites like zoosk, I even use to pay for it monthly.

 

I don't know why, but I have the strongest urges to meet another girl again but how. It was so easy during lunch period but in the real world man it's another story, a never ending story,

 

I just don't know why a girl can't see what a huge catch I am. Her loss right?

 

In those 8 years I've had what I consider 2 real dates I've talked to 2 stranger women both married no chance for me zero chance.

 

My relationship with women is way below the bar just recently I started to read books on mastering ways to approach girls and made the choice to go experience the club scene, no bites yet but I have faith all I know is in doing me and in the mix of all this things will put themselves together.

 

Anyways tell me something hopeful some way your life has changes or is changing I have a couple close friends that hear me out along the way. Thanks in advance can't wait to read your thoughts and opinions.

Edited November 29, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs~T

[basil67]

Hi Christian, tell us about your social life. Do you have lots of mates? Is your friend group mixed gender? Do you attend parties and events often? Having a well rounded social life is the key to finding a partner.

 

You say that you're a "huge catch". That's quite some self admiration you've got going there. So what do you have going for you? And what do you see as things you could improve on?

[act00]

How are you a "huge catch?" You might look hot, but personality goes a long way, and I'm kind of wondering if you have social skills. The cafeteria in high school is easy...sustaining a viable relationship takes some work, and if you can't carry 50%, it's going to fail. I mean, being a catch and all, do you expect women to fawn on you and you just bask in that and not give back?

 

Two dates with two "stranger women" in the course of eight years is not promising. What do you mean by "stranger?" Weirder than you? Do you have quirks and interest that go against the grain of what is considered "normal?" Try social events within the scope of these interests or hobbies to meet like-minded women. Do you have odd quirks and behaviors you want to change? This takes work and self-awareness, but you can do it...employ your close friends to help you when you start on the "weird rail."

 

Your username could be your name...it could also be strong religious leaning, and I suspect you'll need to do more socializing within your religious group if you want a like-minded woman with similar values, and the bar scene probably isn't the best place. Just a thought.

[d0nnivain]

From your post, especially the syntax, I suspect you may not have mastered the art of communication. Some of your word choices don't make sense. Learning to be clearer will help a lot.

 

Part of getting a GF is the ability to talk to people, not just in clubs & certainly not employing the techniques taught in some of those PUA books. Being genuine & learning to listen will serve you much better. Say hello to people in every aspect of your life. Eventually start a real conversation with somebody who strikes your fancy.

Edited November 29, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Title changed by moderation for clarity ~T

[CristianConnects]

I come from a mexican background I went to school all my life here but I've never mingled in social gatherings. I started drugs and stealing in HS and made "close friends" through the same interests but didn't last. I've been to many therapist and I say they're all the same. "Write in a journal, share your most deepest thoughts in it and share it with us" that's what they all say. But I really liked a therapist, a hypno therapist, that said different stuff to me. I am planning to see him again, my shot ain't all together and I know it's the EGO talking when I say huge catch all I'm say is as I'm insecure, I also have opposite qualities. Does that make since? If I'm stupid, then my brain tells me what's the opposite smart so I must also be smart sorry about the poor wording i know it's because of my lack of understanding the language. But in the midst off all the storm I still have hopes of having a GF soon at the club or the gym.

[CristianConnects]

How are you a "huge catch?" What do you mean by "stranger?" Weirder than you? Do you have quirks and interest that go against the grain of what is considered "normal?" Try social events within the scope of these interests or hobbies to meet like-minded women. Do you have odd quirks and behaviors.

 

You caught my attention I mean huge catch I guess I meant to say I have a worth, worth anybodies time, in the bible I stick to the verse about a rod measuring the same from either distant why don't women ask guys on dates lol. Stranger women like I met a stranger. And got her number so we ended up on a lunch date. I have many excuses to why women will never find me attractive but I just never sieze the opportunity to actually be about it. I want it all easy, you know what I mean?

[carhill]

Welcome to LS...

 

Focus on developing some close male friends first and socializing. One step at a time. It'll come. After all, you've been out of it 8 years.

 

I'm now heading into my 8th year post-divorce and not dating and I find interacting with women and meeting them as easy as ever. Why? It doesn't rule me.