Mz. Pixie Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 The problem is you do NC and he comes back and then you start the cycle all over again. And you guys are LD. I can't imagine how you would handle this if you'd been married to this guy for a long time or lived in the same town! When my exh and I divorced I couldn't go to the corner store to get milk without running into someone who knew the details of our relationship! The new Cosmo has a good article in it. It's like the 50 tips from real women on dating. You need to read it. Someone who gets kicks off of upsetting you like that does NOT love you. More likely he loves himself when he can twist you up like that and it gives him an ego boost when you fall for it. What a sicko. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie The new Cosmo has a good article in it. Cosmo, now there is a good source of well thought out and intellectual information Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 In this case it does have some good advice. I usually only read the sex stuff but there is alot of good advice in there. Mainly just says everything that alot of us have said and alot of the same advice you give the guys here Alpha! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted August 23, 2005 Author Share Posted August 23, 2005 I guess the part I mess up on is when he calls, I crack and get my hopes up...that is where I have to change things. I am better than yesterday, but I know now that I expected too much out of this friends thing and I was better off not talking not him. It sux since I love him and I do know that he loves me but we are ruining it. He is very selfish and will never change -this I know. I just have to convince myself that there are other fish iin the sea that I can love and that will love me back. It is a hard thing to do. Especially when I have the thoughts in my heaad that he has someone else. I guess I walk away knowing I deserve better and not so much foucsing on what he is or isn't doing.....If he does have anyone.....she will see soon enough that he is selfish and will do nothing with her and for her. At least once his charm wears off. Ok just venting -thanks Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 I guess I walk away knowing I deserve better and not so much foucsing on what he is or isn't doing.....If he does have anyone.....she will see soon enough that he is selfish and will do nothing with her and for her. At least once his charm wears off. That's exactly what you should do. I'm disappointed that you let him get to you again. Whether he loves you or not, I think this guy is totally manipulating you. The stuff he does to you really pisses me off. I don't think you should be reading self-help books about how to deal with a break-up. I think you need to get your focus off of him and onto yourself and how to make you happy. Self-help books are good, but I'd suggest you read ones about improving yourself instead. (Not that there's something wrong with you, but we can all stand to do some improvements.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted August 24, 2005 Author Share Posted August 24, 2005 I do not plan on wasting any more time on reading about why he does this and how I can change him or get him back. I am drained. I DO plan on finding hobbies and other things to make me happy. What kind of person gets off on making the person they "love" hurt and cry? I think the less I hear from him and the less I think of him the better off I will be. He just wanted to know he could still get me and then as always, he disappears or hurts me. I hate that I even love him anymore. How can I? What he does to me -he thinks is so funny, I am not laughing. I have even told him that when he makes up those stories and then later tells me they were jokes, that it hurts me....he just laughs and does it more. Say s he thinks it is funny to see how worked up I get. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Beth, Could he be a narcissist??? Your relationship with him sounds alot like the one I had with my mother. She loved to hurt me and manipulate me and make me cry. Everything was ALWAYS about her. I got married, all about her. I had my first child, all about her. Her husband diagnosed with diabetes, all about her! Need I go on??? Find a man who would love to meet your needs and really wants to be with you Beth. I finally had to just reach a point with my mom where I knew she wasn't going to change, I could only change how I allowed her to affect me. Once I did that, I had it made. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted August 24, 2005 Author Share Posted August 24, 2005 Could he be a narcissist??? funny you ask...I have done much research on that and I believe he is..... I am having a hard time today. I cannot be in his life at all. I thought I could do friends and it turns into him not returning my calls and me freaking out and being upset about what he may be doing. I feel awful. How can I love him and not even be able to be in ANY type of relationship with him????I am so hurt that he gets off on hurting me. I do not really know what else to do....how do you let go of someone you love? How do I keep letting him hurt me! I think by the time he calls, I forget how miserable I was and I just love to hear that he loves me and I fall for it. Right now......I hate him. I wish I would feel this way when he comes back each time. How is it possible that I cannot be in his life at all???? Isn't there some type of in between??? I guess when we were together, I wanted more and then we were friends and he got my hopes up just to let me crash. I know there is a deeper meaning to why I am holding on....just wish I knew what it was. I feel myself going back into depression. And all over this A**hole. You would think that I would wake up by now. It tears me up to think that who I loved is no longer there. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 I think it's an addiction somewhat. Link to post Share on other sites
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