My parents support my spouse who got involved with someone else!

[iamaguesthere]

I am in the midst of a separation from my wife. We have been separated for a few months now due to an emotional affair she had with a co-worker.

 

I am at the point of stopping contact with my parents over how they are treating my wife.

 

They don't seem to care about my well being at all. Yet they have been in touch with her. They invite her over for dinner. And they apparetnly do not see anything wrong with it?

 

Over these last months they seem to be behind her not me, even though she is the one that found someone else. She is the one that "did something wrong."

 

I am hurt and bewlidered that they would support her and not me. There are no kids involved.

 

I do not feel this is a very appropraite response for my parents.

 

Is it just me??? or is it odd???

[Mr.positive]

What does an emotional affair mean

[Teag]

I personally think its odd that they are supporting her & not you, but on the other hand, how long have you two been married. They may have a relationship with her that they don't want to give up, for example my mom loves my husband to death, she thinks of him as her son, not son in law, however if he did that to me, she would support me 100% but she would still love him & want to keep in touch with him, & the same goes with my husbands family. Although we do have a child together but this may be the way your parents see it. They may not agree w/ what she did & they may support you but they may have a relationship w/ her they don't want to lose. I hope that makes sense & good luck.

[RecordProducer]

Obviously your parents don't think you're an angel and they completely understand her for reaching out and finding someone to listen to her, support her, and pay attention to her. It seems that they want her back in your life, which means that she is good.

You beter start a therapy to help you figure out clearly what your flaws are and how to work on them.

[Moose]

There's a reason your wife sought an emotional affair, your parents are probably backing her on it too.

 

Why don't you try to repair the marriage instead of ending it? An emotional affair doesn't seem like enough grounds for divorce in my book.

[imaguesthere]

Originally posted by RecordProducer

Obviously your parents don't think you're an angel and they completely understand her for reaching out and finding someone to listen to her, support her, and pay attention to her. It seems that they want her back in your life, which means that she is good.

You beter start a therapy to help you figure out clearly what your flaws are and how to work on them.

 

So my spouse gets involved with someone else, falls in love with them, almost leaves me for them but it must be because of my flaws?

[Moose]

Originally posted by imaguesthere

So my spouse gets involved with someone else, falls in love with them, almost leaves me for them but it must be because of my flaws?

More because of your neglect.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

In hindsight, can you not agree that something was not right in your relationship with your wife where she felt the need to share her emotional side with someone other than you? You were not meeting her needs, and for some reason (?????) she didn't feel she could talk to you about it. Have you been able to ask yourself (or ask her for that matter) why she couldn't talk to you about it?

 

I don't think your parents are choosing sides and supporting her over you. To me, it seems more like they love her as a daughter and want to continue having a relationship with her. They may even be hoping that by doing this it will bring the two of you back together.

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by Mr.positive

What does an emotional affair mean

 

A relationship with a person of the opposite sex (for heterosexuals) where romantic and/or sexual feelings are present, but there is no physical affection. Two people in an emotional affair can be in love, infatuated or simply have a crush on each other and if they were single, they would be together.

Often emotional affairs evolve to real affairs.