I can't get out of my defeatist/victim mentality with dating

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Besides the money, what else do you have to offer?

[CosmicG8]

He's not bad I guess. I'd probably have given him a chance. But his appearance gives me the gut feeling that he's really high maintenance and this would be a massive hurdle. Like he'd spend more time grooming than me.

 

 

I feel like I'm in one of those internet message boards where nerdy IT guys are saying they wouldn't date Scarlet Johannsen because her knees are too pointy :D

 

 

I love fashion and I love to look good but I make sure not to get into territory of metro sexual or high maintenance. I get ready to go out in 15 or 20 minutes. The beard is a little bit of a pain to maintain though - I go to barber every week to get it lined up. I make sure that to keep that extremely groomed - I think ungroomed beards are absolutely disgusting

[CosmicG8]

Besides the money, what else do you have to offer?

 

 

I don't have too many weaknesses in any major areas

 

 

I can hold a good conversation in most subjects

I'm extremely responsible

I'm extremely affectionate

I love sex, I'm well endowed and I always get rave reviews for my performance down there. I don't even like to start having sex unless the woman finishes first

I am extremely loyal and have a strong moral compass

I am all about family values and doing right by my loved ones

I love kids and pets

I'm easy to get along with, I rarely cause a fight on anything with any of my loved ones

I love to travel, party, have fun,

I love to play and watch sports

I'm a TV and movie aficionado - love watching anything with an intelligent storyline

I don't lie - I feel extremely guilty over even small white lies so I avoid them at almost any cost

I stick to my word, I hate even being late to meet up with a friend

I am extremely driven, hard working, ambitious

I am considerate and try to be nice to everyone. I always tip 20-30% when I get served. I make sure to treat people in business or people who are serving me the way I would want to be treated.

 

 

I've struggled miserably in dating my whole life so I thought if I improved myself in all areas - money, looks, body, character, intelligence, maturity - that I would naturally meet women and it just hasn't happened.

Edited December 2, 2017 by CosmicG8

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I don't have too many weaknesses in any major areas

 

 

I can hold a good conversation in most subjects

I'm extremely responsible

I'm extremely affectionate

I love sex, I'm well endowed and I always get rave reviews for my performance down there. I don't even like to start having sex unless the woman finishes first

I am extremely loyal and have a strong moral compass

I am all about family values and doing right by my loved ones

I love kids and pets

I'm easy to get along with, I rarely cause a fight on anything with any of my loved ones

I love to travel, party, have fun,

I love to play and watch sports

I'm a TV and movie aficionado - love watching anything with an intelligent storyline

I don't lie - I feel extremely guilty over even small white lies so I avoid them at almost any cost

I stick to my word, I hate even being late to meet up with a friend

I am extremely driven, hard working, ambitious

I am considerate and try to be nice to everyone. I always tip 20-30% when I get served. I make sure to treat people in business or people who are serving me the way I would want to be treated.

 

 

I've struggled miserably in dating my whole life so I thought if I improved myself in all areas - money, looks, body, character, intelligence, maturity - that I would naturally meet women and it just hasn't happened.

 

How interested are you in getting to know the ins and outs of the woman you are dating? What her desires, dreams, hurts, life experiences are? Do you actually get to know her or are you more concentrated on what you perceive are the outward "things" that YOU think she wants?

 

You need to make sure the girl you're with feels like you're wanting to get to know HER as a person. Her SOUL (as cliche as that sounds).

 

You may be focusing too much on what YOU provide, what "society" looks upon as "success." Love/relationships are about way more than that. Stop focusing on all of these superficial successes.

[CosmicG8]

How interested are you in getting to know the ins and outs of the woman you are dating? What her desires, dreams, hurts, life experiences are? Do you actually get to know her or are you more concentrated on what you perceive are the outward "things" that YOU think she wants?

 

You need to make sure the girl you're with feels like you're wanting to get to know HER as a person. Her SOUL (as cliche as that sounds).

 

I care about that a lot

 

I want somebody who is going to be my best friend. I want somebody who has a great heart like I feel that I have

[Chilli]

Maybe. My husband is incredibly good looking. When I first laid eyes on him in a bar I thought he was a Player. That was OK with me. I was looking for a player because I wanted to have fun, nothing serious. Instead we got married.

 

 

When we talked about dating experiences he said that women often wouldn't talk to him. Several even accused him of being a player within minutes of meeting him. My husband couldn't be a player even if you gave him instructions.

 

 

There is a sub-set of women who think all good looking guys only want one thing & that they change bed partners faster that some people change their socks.

 

 

Yep , got the same thing alll the time , drove me crazy.

They'd even suggest it, even ask me why l was showing any interest in them.

Same ,reality is though l'd need a damn manual to be a player and even then l wouldn't know what to do.

l'm only good at getting the women l want haha, that's about it.

Edited December 2, 2017 by Chilli

[chinadiary]

I feel like I'm in one of those internet message boards where nerdy IT guys are saying they wouldn't date Scarlet Johannsen because her knees are too pointy :D

 

 

I'm assuming Scarlet Johannsen gets dates, whereas you say you don't.

 

I think your assumptions that you're a great catch for various reasons is probably what's putting women off. Your looks are camera good, but Lazar IS a threatening looking guy, regardless of pose.

 

There are quite a few men on this site that view themselves as alpha men, and come off as fairly unpleasant individuals. I'm not saying you're like them, I don't know you, but women aren't interested in relationships with men that are 'me, me, me'.

 

Women want someone with kindness, compassion, who can be emotionally supportive. And contrary to what men tend to believe, most women don't require a ripped body.

[Chilli]

Money , yeah.

 

It's a tricky animal with women,

l certainly wouldn't go saying that stuff to her until your sure of what kind of a person you have.

[Kamille]

I don't know. I feel like we can analyze CosmicG8 all we want, the fact is that as long as he finds reasons to not approach women, nothing will change.

 

This isn't about your qualities CG8. This is about acquiring a perspective so you feel more comfortable approaching the women you like.

 

You otherwise do sound like a great catch, and even if you were just Mr. AverageJoe, you should still be able to find a partner where the attraction is mutual.

 

I mean, there's many women out there looking for relationships, so I think it's unfortunate when great guys struggle to approach women.