Contradictory personality?

[chinadiary]

I don't really understand myself. I want things that contradict each other.

 

I get lonely when I spend time alone, but feel trapped and irritated in the company of others.

 

I never really wanted to be married. The one time I was, I felt trapped, suffocated and yearned to be independent. On my wedding day, I felt as if the ring was too tight, a physical manifestation of my emotional state.

 

I hate having no one to do things with, but feel restricted when I have a partner.

 

With my ex, I know myself well enough to know I couldn't cope with marriage (tried getting engaged to the previous ex) but also desperately wanted the emotional security of it.

 

I wish I didn't have to work so hard, but when I did have a lower key job, felt rootless and unfocused.

 

 

I annoy myself. Why can't I be simpler and have logical needs like some people? As it is, my needs are never really met because they're so disparate. Argh!!!!!!

[Buriall]

Every intelligent individual wants to know what makes him tick, and yet is at once fascinated and frustrated by the fact that oneself is the most difficult of all things to know.

[chinadiary]

Every intelligent individual wants to know what makes him tick, and yet is at once fascinated and frustrated by the fact that oneself is the most difficult of all things to know.

 

 

Think I'd be happier with less intelligence and a simpler, less complicated life.

[carhill]

You can focus your intelligence on simplicity and choose to accept that your wants may sometimes conflict. It's OK.

 

Once I resolved that, I've noted equal comfort alone and in groups and regardless of what life throws. The hard part is throwing away the rule book and the social indoctrination and peer pressure. Once that is achieved things get easier. Sure, such choices sometimes place one as an outlier but what is that really? Outlier to what?

[Buriall]

Think I'd be happier with less intelligence and a simpler, less complicated life.

 

are you sure about this statement..??"I'd be happier with less intelligence"

 

So then you must give up whats in complication with your life...

Edited December 2, 2017 by Buriall

[chinadiary]

are you sure about this statement..??"I'd be happier with less intelligence"

 

So then you must give up whats in complication with your life...

 

 

 

It isn't my life that's complicated, it's my own needs.

[Buriall]

It isn't my life that's complicated, it's my own needs.

 

I bet you have few pages of that needs, desires, wants, expectations and so on this makes life more complicated and thus leaving you dissatisfied with life.

[jjgitties]

Why can't I be simpler and have logical needs like some people?

 

There are no simple people. Everyone is complicated in their own way. And logic is for robots and computers, not humans with hearts and souls.

[cabbageman]

Buddy! You sound like me. A typical gemini-like trait. You want this but you also want that. You grow tired of narrow minded folk.

 

Don't sweat it. You are highly intelligent and above most humans, which are petty in their lack of understanding of the hypocritical world we live in. It's perfectly fine to be contradictory, we are all gods of our own minds, don't forget that. Existentialism rules.

 

I understand the frustration my friend, people hate to debate people like us because we are "opinionless" in a sense, we see every side of everything, all the time.

 

Don't compromise like I did, be patient.

 

And I disagree with other comments. The world is full of simple ****ing idiot degenerate swine, don't succumb to their inferiority, but also be kind, always.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Interesting. I don't quite see how intelligence comes into this. My un-qualified ex wife who is a physician would have a field day coming up with some clinical diagnoses for someone like the OP. Normal, perhaps. It is b/c you are more intelligent than others.....questionable.