Shandy Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 First time poster here, but I've been reading loveshack ever since my breakup. Here's the story: I got back together with my boyfriend after four months apart. The thing is, I was a mess during these four months and thought that I would be so happy to be given a second chance. Now that I have it, I'm not nearly as excited as I thought I would be. Things are so different now from when we were together before. Before, he needs to talk to me everyday. Now, he gives me a lot more freedom. I know it's a good thing but I'm not used to it. It almost makes me feel like he doesn't love me as much as before. Is this a normal feeling for second chances?? To go into it full of doubts?? Is this a sign that I made the wrong decision? We had a couple of long talks before formally getting back together, but I'm so scared that it still won't work and I have to go through that breakup pain all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 When a couple breaks up and then gets back together most of the time things will not be the same as before the break-up. People had time on their own and they had time to grow. Sometimes the change is for the best but other times it's not. If you feel that things have changed now for the worst then maybe you should evaluate the whole situation and the reasons why you two broke up and make a decision whether or not you can deal with the way he is now. Remember, when something like this happens it's innevitable for a person to remain the same because they learn from the break up and when you learn you change. I am sure there is something about you now that is different from before you two broke up. There's a reason why you broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 A few questions for you: Who broke up with who? Why did you break up? and... Did you do No Contact during those 4 months apart? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shandy Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 I broke up with him out of a fit of anger over the phone, but later regretted it. So after a couple of weeks I asked for him back and he said no, we are never getting back together. I was devastated but said fine I have to disappear for a while because I can't handle being friends. He called me after three weeks of nc. After that we slowly started getting into contact again, but he was all about being friends and didn't want a relationship. During that time it was hard on me because I was making no progress toward recovering at all. Then last week I decided, no more of this, why should I pine over someone who has so little feelings left for me?? Short term pain is better than long term pain. It was the first time I made the decision to really walk away. I even changed my email address and started looking for a new phone plan so I can do complete nc. Ironically, a couple of days later he wants to get back together. Maybe the reason I'm not very excited right now is because I'm still feeling the effects from my decision before, so I'm wondering whether taking him back is the right thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 yeah thats a tough call...well just be wise with your decision, you may never get another chance. I know I would give anything to have a second chance with my ex...but 4 months has gone by and i only get an email here and there about every 3 weeks.... Link to post Share on other sites
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