More Than Ever

[CrushingHope]

So my story has been posted here in another thread. I dated a man who lived downstairs from me, after he had broken up with a woman he was on/off with for 7 years. We had a wonderful relationship but it was short lived - about 2 months before he ended things to go back to her. And then after 2 more months he ended things with her to come back to me. And 2 months after that, he went back to her.

 

The relationship he had/has with her is very toxic. She's an abusive alcoholic with quite a horrible history of abuse in her life and a late husband who committed suicide, apparently due to the way she treated him. It was a mess.

 

R and I were very loving and had a very instant relationship due to our proximity of living in the same house. It was super intense and something I had a very hard time dealing with when it was over. It ended October of 2016 and I lived there for almost a full year after. We talked here and there but it wasn't great and he would always tell me that his feelings for me hadn't changed, and that the reasons he felt he had to go back to her were not typical reasons and things had happened that he wouldn't talk about.

 

Anyway, I moved out of the city this past September and live an hour away. Last week, I sent a mass email with my new phone number. I added him to the list even after hemming and hawing about it. He texted me within the hour and I responded with a very short text. That lead to us texting again and we haven't stopped for a week. It turns out he is working in the same city (on the same BLOCK) that I'm working in, and making the one hour trip there and back every day. We have been talking all day every day since. He has made no promises to leave her but tells me that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that no one will ever compare to me. He says he believes I was made for him and alllll this other stuff. One minute he says "I want to see you so badly, but I can't" (I have not asked to see him), and the next he's implying that we will be seeing each other (says "Do I need to come over there and show you how to do that?" or "maybe there's a tea in our future", or lists things he wants to do with me).

 

I asked him if he was confused about things. He said no. I said "so you're exactly where you want to be?" He said no, not at all. I ask him a lot of questions which he doesn't answer. He says "you press me to say more than I can right now". I don't know what any of this means.

 

He tells me a list of songs that he can't listen to because they remind him of me, he tells me spots in the city that he thinks about me every time he drives by them, he tells me he has tried so hard to stay away from me and all this other stuff that makes me believe that he is still in love with me. Why do/say these things if they're not true? And if they are true (which I do believe), why stay with her? His 18 year old son and I had gotten close over the last 2 years and he said that this other woman (who the son HATES) has "something over on him" that no one can figure out.

 

I feel myself entirely sucked in by his words/charm/memes/photos etc...all over again. I left there to get away and help me heal. I did always think I would hear from him again but had no idea it would be like this.

 

I feel like everyone is going to say he's doing this to stroke his ego...but if he was happy in his life/with her why would he need that? It just doesn't make sense to me. He says I have voodoo...that I have cast a spell on him for life and that he will never ever be able to let me go...but I think it's the other way around.

 

Thanks for reading this incredibly long and somewhat pathetic post.

Edited December 3, 2017 by CrushingHope