MisshapenCloud Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 Wife is in a strange relationship with another man who has pretty severe health and alcohol problems. The relationship was taking its toll on her, she texts me one night a few weeks back and asks for sex saying she feels so neglected and misses me. I come over and we spend the week together. Things are strange but each night she asked me back, and finally we agreed things are going too fast. This whole time she is doing the Facebook thing where she is telling people about this horrible relationship she just ended with an alcoholic and posting quotes about self worth, etc. Well when we said things were going fast, she admitted she felt sorry for the alcoholic 'friend' and said she wasn't ready for a 100% reconciliation with me yet and to just work on things and not be exclusive yet. She knows I have a casual relationship with another girl, and she said she was okay with me continuing to see her. I said let me know when you want to see me again, and we parted well. So the next night I'm at the other girl's house, I start getting texts from my wife with pictures of my SUV at the other girl's house. My wife has stalked me and is furious I'm seeing the other girl. She doesn't talk to me for several days. When she does, it's to tell me I wasted my second chance. I stay cool and patient but admit I'm hurt that she's messing with me and baiting me into weird conflict. She's also now seeing the abusive alcoholic again and has deleted all her posts about him from that week. Relative silence until 2 days before our scheduled divorce last week. She says she wants to shelf the divorce and try counseling. I agree to this. The next day she says she wants the divorce again. I'm devastated but understand it's her decision. At the divorce she decides to ask the judge to push it back a few months. He agrees. I take her to breakfast from there, we part, she then ignores me for three days. Last weekend she asks me over to see her and the kids. I stay, help with some things around the house and I go get furniture she ordered and carry it into the house. We have a good day. She invites me over for the following evening. I show up right after work, she's in a bad mood and starts putting me down and making her threats. She says her relationship with the alcoholic would be better if I watched the kids more and gave her more money. When I quickly prove how ridiculous this is, she starts up about decade-old bitterness that has nothing to do with present reality. Finally I say I only came over because she asked and I leave. She texts me later apologizing for treating me like that. I say I need some space and that if her lifestyle doesn't change---utilities constantly being cut off and late rent and her constantly missing work and taking my kids around her 'friend' who she herself was publicly condemning---then I was going to consider making a move for custody. Her response was to throw a fit, to keep saying I'm just bitter she doesn't want me anymore, and to repeatedly command me to erase all the stuff I have proving everything I'm saying. She also begs me not to contact her friend who she says 'is vulnerable right now' and is 'recovering' and is 'scared of me'. So now I'm back to taking time away from her, and she's not made any attempts at getting counseling for her or us. I think my wife is demonstrating severe mental health problems and I'm hoping for any context anyone could share. She's always been antisocial and been difficult to deal with at times, but it's hard seeing someone I love so much descend into this kind of life. I worry she's going to lose her job and ruin her life. I want to explore reconciliation, but it can only come with us living separately for a while and overcoming the grudges and resentments through counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 I want to explore reconciliation Seriously? Have you got rocks in your head? The only way for you to have a happy future is for you to divorce this woman and never speak to her again! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 Seriously? Have you got rocks in your head? The only way for you to have a happy future is for you to divorce this woman and never speak to her again! Exactly this. I would be seeking a lawyer, not a counsellor, at this point... Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 She says her relationship with the alcoholic would be better if I watched the kids more and gave her more money. When I quickly prove how ridiculous this is, she starts up about decade-old bitterness that has nothing to do with present reality. When I read this part, I actually said "ugh" out loud in disgust. She sounds manipulative and self-entitled. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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