Possible accidental text from BF

[dmb1]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years, but have had a few breaks due to his infidelity. We had been together for about 10 months straight but took a break in October when I learned that he had been reaching out to women on various dating sites, etc. when I was out-of-state for school. And even when I moved back, I learned that he was still reaching out to "old friends" but don't think he met up with any. I didn't confront him about most of what I found (because admittedly I'd done some snooping) but there was tension and we got in a huge fight & I dumped him. We didn't talk a lot during the break but he would text me and tell me how much he missed me, wasn't doing anything, didn't want to be with anyone else, etc. etc. Towards the end of the month, we decided to reconcile.

 

It turns out that during that time, he contacted an ex and that she visited him at least twice. He has denied the fact that she visited him at his house even though I know that for a fact. It was upsetting to learn that, but I dumped him during that time so he was free to do whatever, I guess. What was really upsetting to me was finding out out that one weekend in September (ie*prior* to our break) when I was out of town visiting my family, he had been calling this ex and even insulted her (via text) for not picking up. I have not confronted him about this specifically.

 

What I'm concerned about now is that I think he is still in contact with her. He's always been wishy washy about their nature/level of contact and gives BS or conflicting explanations (eg, he's said that they haven't spoken in over a year, then later said she contacts him via FB only since she's blocked from his phone...but he got a new # within the last year. Or he'll share a text of her messages but not a screenshot that would verify who it was sent by, when it was sent, or what prompted the message).

 

Yesterday, he invited me over for movie night and I said I probably couldn't because I had to work late, but I'd call him when I left my office. He didn't answer when I called him a few times and texted to confirm I wanted to come over. I showed up anyway, and his explanation for not answering was that he'd fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV (he does this regularly). We ended up getting into an unrelated argument yesterday so movie night did not go over well.

 

He texted me this morning and said that he wanted to redo yesterday and I told him that due to end of week deadlines and a big meeting I was leading tomorrow, I thought it'd be best to save it for tomorrow night, especially since I was planning on coming over Friday to attend a reception in his building. His response was "Yeah because I fell asleep," which didn't address my text at all. I might be reading too much into it, but I kind of feel like his text was meant to be for his ex/someone else that he asked to come over yesterday after I told him I probably wouldn't be able to come but I don't have direct proof of that.

[Imajerk17]

A "few" breaks due to his infidelity??

 

I hate to break it to you OP, but your boyfriend hardly seems remorseful about cheating on you, whatever the deal was with that specific text or not. I mean, a few times is at least twice. Which means that he cheated on you the first time (which was bad enough), but then even after you took him back, instead of thanking his lucky stars that you gave him a second chance, he went out and cheated on you AGAIN.

 

It just sounds to me that his heart is still on this other woman, or women. Regardless it does not sound to me that he is in love with you.

 

I'm wondering if you stay with him in the long term, how you could even trust him further than you could throw him. You can do better when it comes to boyfriends, that's for sure.

Edited December 7, 2017 by Imajerk17

[Space Ritual]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years, but have had a few breaks due to his infidelity. We had been together for about 10 months straight but took a break in October when I learned that he had been reaching out to women on various dating sites, etc. when I was out-of-state for school. And even when I moved back, I learned that he was still reaching out to "old friends" but don't think he met up with any. I didn't confront him about most of what I found (because admittedly I'd done some snooping) but there was tension and we got in a huge fight & I dumped him. We didn't talk a lot during the break but he would text me and tell me how much he missed me, wasn't doing anything, didn't want to be with anyone else, etc. etc. Towards the end of the month, we decided to reconcile.

 

It turns out that during that time, he contacted an ex and that she visited him at least twice. He has denied the fact that she visited him at his house even though I know that for a fact. It was upsetting to learn that, but I dumped him during that time so he was free to do whatever, I guess. What was really upsetting to me was finding out out that one weekend in September (ie*prior* to our break) when I was out of town visiting my family, he had been calling this ex and even insulted her (via text) for not picking up. I have not confronted him about this specifically.

 

What I'm concerned about now is that I think he is still in contact with her. He's always been wishy washy about their nature/level of contact and gives BS or conflicting explanations (eg, he's said that they haven't spoken in over a year, then later said she contacts him via FB only since she's blocked from his phone...but he got a new # within the last year. Or he'll share a text of her messages but not a screenshot that would verify who it was sent by, when it was sent, or what prompted the message).

 

Yesterday, he invited me over for movie night and I said I probably couldn't because I had to work late, but I'd call him when I left my office. He didn't answer when I called him a few times and texted to confirm I wanted to come over. I showed up anyway, and his explanation for not answering was that he'd fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV (he does this regularly). We ended up getting into an unrelated argument yesterday so movie night did not go over well.

 

He texted me this morning and said that he wanted to redo yesterday and I told him that due to end of week deadlines and a big meeting I was leading tomorrow, I thought it'd be best to save it for tomorrow night, especially since I was planning on coming over Friday to attend a reception in his building. His response was "Yeah because I fell asleep," which didn't address my text at all. I might be reading too much into it, but I kind of feel like his text was meant to be for his ex/someone else that he asked to come over yesterday after I told him I probably wouldn't be able to come but I don't have direct proof of that.

 

No...No..Just effing NO!

 

 

Young Lady,

 

This Jizztard showed you who he was every time you took a break. And you took a break for a reason

 

I want you to know something....

You are pretty young now,I take it. But one day you are going to wake up and realize you have more days behind you than ahead of you. Sounds corny, I know...

 

But when that day comes, do you want to lament on all the time you literally threw away on some schlepp of a guy who cheats on you, and then worms his way back into yor life, only to do it again and again.

 

Life is far too short for that noise.

 

What you need to do is this:

 

1. Don't worry about Friday

2. Drop this guy like a used rubber

3. Block him from contacting you on any form of communication you can think of.

4. Move forward with your life. If you have stuff at his place, consider it a loss or arrange for a friend to go pick it up.

 

I cannot stress enough how awful you will feel if you have to keep doing the Lather, Rinse Repeat with this guy.

 

Move on, make him insignificant and REFUSE to be treated the way this guy has treated you.

 

One infidelity incident is 1 too many. Get rid of him or you'll continue regret it more than you are while reading this.

[ExpatInItaly]

I cannot fathom why you ever returned to this joker in the first place.

 

Where are your standards for yourself?