my bf might be cheating I confront him he goes to the same thing

[Lindas]

My boyfriend has an ed problem so he got prescribed viagria. I notice a whole pill was missing. I told him who he used to it because we didn't do anything and he was like I used it to see how it work or masturbation I was like what you don't need it for that but he said he was trying to an experiment.

 

No I don't have to believe him because he hid it from me and I just got this feeling so I checked so I asked him and he said that he wasn't cheating on me that there was no one else that he promised me that and so I told him where he hid it from me that we need to have a on this relationship and he needs to be honest he did admit he took one when he went to see me one day at work through my lunch but he said because he ever masturbated.

 

He said that's why I felt really hot when you touch my forehead but I was I will how do you know I want you not messing with me I mean you're not messing around with someone else while I'm at work how about yeah you're home all the time when I'm there but you know you might be doing it when I'm at work because and your son's that you know I want to start having sex with him and he'll say no or we'll do it on the weekend but it's because then he tries to masturbate.

 

Who knows he might be cheating on me and I asked him but he keeps on saying no answer my question is for the guys out there what should I be thinking like you know like who does that takes a Viagra pill just masturbate this makes sense so I can get hard like really

Edited December 9, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[healing light]

This post was hard for me to follow without periods.

 

Let me try to recap: your boyfriend has ED and you noticed a viagra pill was missing. He claims he used it while you were at work so he could masturbate?

But he rebuffs you when you initiate sex? Is that correct?

 

Was this his first time taking the pill? You said he wanted to try it out?

 

I'm of the belief that healthy relationships include masturbation for men, so I don't see anything wrong with him getting some self love in. What I would find troubling is if he's masturbating but not having sex with you and turning you down consistently.

[basil67]

Sorry, I couldn't read a lot of this without punctuation. But I think it's perfectly reasonable to give the viagra a test drive alone. And no, he shouldn't have to report to you on each and every pill he takes.

 

Why do you have such little trust in him?

[Lindas]

Well he has used the pills before for two whole months with me. With this new bottle he got he started to try it out. But I told him you already know how it works because you taken them. He was I was trying to get a hard on. I was like for what bc you didn't use it with me. That's when he said their was no one else that he was experimenting. Its just hard to believe. Then he was we been together for two years I don't get interested as before so why he looks at porn. We only have sex when he wants bc of the pills. If I try to start or just for oral he be no. Then ill say it's me and he no you did everything I ask you to do. So I ask what's the problem he be its mental but I'm not tired of you its me. I'm you have another one he says no. So why can we have sex but its the same reply all the time. He don't want to do counseling.

[Space Ritual]

Who knows he might be cheating on me and I asked him but he keeps on saying no answer my question is for the guys out there what should I be thinking like you know like who does that takes a Viagra pill just masturbate this makes sense so I can get hard like really

 

I think that the main problem is that you are not listening to your gut and trying to do anything possible to remain in a state of denial.

 

That is understandable, and fairly normal in situations like this. We understand that you want something, in fact anything that points out that this just isn't happening.

 

But it is.

 

I think you would do much better by yourself if you paid attention to his actions. His actions are clear that there is more to his weird act than he is letting on.

 

I assure you men don't take Viagra just for the purposes of rubbing one out. For an older guy. Viagra is supposed to up his game in the bedroom. Not going solo with the 5 knuckle shuffle

 

So I am afraid you will have to assume that in fact he is cheating. All the signs pint to it and the Viagra Rubbing one out is about as weak an act as there is.

 

This guy is doing you no good. Get rid of him and refuse to be treated like this.

 

Good Luck

[Mr.Me]

You sounds like a control freak hell bent on finding something wrong whether there is or not.

If one asks and doesn't get the answer you expect you have some choices. Trust his integrity or trust your integrity.

[smackie9]

He's a first time user, and I can see out of curiosity he would try it with masturbation first to see the effects.

 

You need to back off.

 

This kind of thing is very sensitive for men. Having ED is devastating and embarrassing. This is their manhood we are talking about. You B&*^%$* at him and accusing him only emasculates him even further. Poor guy. It's bad enough he has trouble getting an erection, now he has to deal with a bat $%^& cray cray GF inspecting how many pills are being used. Shame on you!

[d0nnivain]

If you & he previously used a whole bottle of Viagra together, you are correct there was no need for him to take one to try it out through masturbation. The lack of a need doesn't mean there was a lack of desire. Who are you to tell him he can't masturbate?

 

I'm more concerned about the lack of trust. I have never counted my husband's pills. The fact that you felt compelled to take that action makes me wonder about the overall state of your relationship. Do you snoop through his phone too? Even taking the sex out of it, if you don't trust the man, end your relationship. You clearly think he's lying to you.

[smackie9]

You suggested counseling, then what are you saying? you feel you need it? and he refuses....that is what we need to look at, not some missing pill.

 

What else is going on?

[healing light]

Well, it sounds like you have a couple of different problems going on here.

 

You're counting his pills--so I'm guessing that you don't trust him, but I'm assuming you did because he's rejecting you every time you initiate sex.

 

Was this a new prescription or the same brand he was always using? Regardless, I don't think him taking some on his own time to rub one out is a big deal or to try one out if it's a different brand. Realize that men masturbate in and out of relationships and it's not personal if they do--sometimes they need relief without the whole performance/needing to please someone else aspect, especially if your sex life together has not been going well or they're having trouble rising to the occasion.

 

What concerns me is that he turns you down for sex all the time. He said it's mental. Does he seem disconnected when you guys do have sex? How is the rest of the relationship going? Is he under a lot of stress or pressure in other areas of his life? Did he develop ED recently or has he been managing his condition since you met? Have there been any significant physical changes in either partner since you started dating?

 

I would try to talk to him in a pass-the-butter tone when you're not in the bedroom about how he's feeling and what his ideal sex life looks like, if there's anything he'd like to try, any fantasies he's had, etc.. It's only two years in--that's relatively young days, imo. Obviously the onus for the quality of your sex life isn't just on you, but maybe you could see if there's something you guys can do as a couple to spice things up, even if it's something small like going on a regular date night, getting dolled up and putting on new lingerie, etc. You're not to blame for his condition but if you've both fallen into a rut or routine around sex then doing something different may help.

 

Since it's a delicate subject, I would communicate with him casually/gently long before confronting with accusations of cheating unless there are other obvious signs aside from a pill or two missing. Especially if he's been told it's of psychological origin, as disputes/pressure around sex can aggravate the condition. Best of luck!

[Lindas]

No they are the same brand but I gave them to the benefit of the doubt on it. Yes he is normal when we have sex. We had a huge argument on that again because I escalated to jumping into conclusions again. But I told him that it's not just me and he admitted that it was him and he said if I don't trust him then why be with him. He said it's not me that's him and he's sorry if I feel that I'm getting rejected. He got mad then said what about if I just don't feel like it.I said why you looking at p*** then when I'm next to you. I told him I am not a shore if that's what you want leave me. He said I don't want a shore I want you. But either way I ask him if he wants to go counseling he said no again he said we can talk it out but it's like when I tell him he doesn't really say much. But he said he he just didn't mean to make me feel certain ways and that the problem was him it wasn't me and that was basically it.