awescott87 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 so this is my life...and its sucks beat cancer 4.5 years ago, found out i had a 40year old sister my mother never told anyone about. Was engaged about 3 years ago only to find out she was cheating on me. 2 years ago i met the woman of my dreams. Beautiful, intelligent everything I've been looking for. Things progressed extremely quickly prolly a little to quickly looking back at it now. I bought my house about 7 years ago with the plans of building a new home on my property when the mortgage was paid of in 10. Well about 6months ago the neighbors house went up for sale and we decided we should purchase it. During this time we also got engaged. This home is basically everything I was going to build plus by buying it I(we) would be getting 60ft more of water frontage and a lil over 1/2 acre. So since my credit is maxed out at the time with my current mortgage I gifted 25k into her account and put the mortgage completely in her name with both our names on the deed. two weeks leading up to closing things just didn't seam right she was going out with her friends, being suspicious about working late, basic tell tale signs of a cheater but I ignored it.... thinking it was all stress or whatever. Well come to find out she had be having a 3month afair with someone she worked with. i found this out by going threw her iPad one night after an argument. She admitted to the affair. I dont know whats wrong with me but i truly want to work it out with her. She has shown total remorse for what she did and i do believe this was a mistake and we can move forward from this. I do not blame myself but i can understand how things led to this. I co own a distillery and work long hours have been going threw the headache and stress of opening up distribution to new states, building a new tasting room, managing contractors and handing day to day operations. If anyone on her has ever delt with SLA or TTB you know what im saying. Basically been emotionally unavailable for about a year now...does not exclude her actions but can understand what led to it. So as of about an hour ago we got in huge argument and i kicked her out. She has a 6lb poodle **** mix that is very aggressive and attacked my beagle on saturday. When he attacked my dog i wound up with a trip to the er and 6 stitches in my thumb... so i told her enough is enough get rid of you dog and she brought him to her moms house. Tonight i told her i never want that dog back in my house and it started a huge argument. So here i am with a busted ass thumb and ego over a 6lb poodle. im not looking for any form of sympathy by typing this up more of a way for my self to vent in my drunken haze. This the life of a whiskey maker Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 A three affair is not a mistake. It was a conscious decision on her part. Better wake up. You didn't cause it she did it because she wanted to 6 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 she's using you and you're letting her 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 This the life of a whiskey maker Well, if you stay with this woman, you are also going to experience the life of a whiskey drinker... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 Not married, no kids, cheating gf with a crazy dog. Sounds easy to me... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 You dodged a bullet. Get a lawyer to clear up the mortgage and crap, then sever ties. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 so this is my life...and its sucks beat cancer 4.5 years ago, found out i had a 40year old sister my mother never told anyone about. Was engaged about 3 years ago only to find out she was cheating on me. 2 years ago i met the woman of my dreams. Beautiful, intelligent everything I've been looking for. Things progressed extremely quickly prolly a little to quickly looking back at it now. I bought my house about 7 years ago with the plans of building a new home on my property when the mortgage was paid of in 10. Well about 6months ago the neighbors house went up for sale and we decided we should purchase it. During this time we also got engaged. This home is basically everything I was going to build plus by buying it I(we) would be getting 60ft more of water frontage and a lil over 1/2 acre. So since my credit is maxed out at the time with my current mortgage I gifted 25k into her account and put the mortgage completely in her name with both our names on the deed. two weeks leading up to closing things just didn't seam right she was going out with her friends, being suspicious about working late, basic tell tale signs of a cheater but I ignored it.... thinking it was all stress or whatever. Well come to find out she had be having a 3month afair with someone she worked with. i found this out by going threw her iPad one night after an argument. She admitted to the affair. I dont know whats wrong with me but i truly want to work it out with her. She has shown total remorse for what she did and i do believe this was a mistake and we can move forward from this. I do not blame myself but i can understand how things led to this. I co own a distillery and work long hours have been going threw the headache and stress of opening up distribution to new states, building a new tasting room, managing contractors and handing day to day operations. If anyone on her has ever delt with SLA or TTB you know what im saying. Basically been emotionally unavailable for about a year now...does not exclude her actions but can understand what led to it. So as of about an hour ago we got in huge argument and i kicked her out. She has a 6lb poodle **** mix that is very aggressive and attacked my beagle on saturday. When he attacked my dog i wound up with a trip to the er and 6 stitches in my thumb... so i told her enough is enough get rid of you dog and she brought him to her moms house. Tonight i told her i never want that dog back in my house and it started a huge argument. So here i am with a busted ass thumb and ego over a 6lb poodle. im not looking for any form of sympathy by typing this up more of a way for my self to vent in my drunken haze. This the life of a whiskey maker Stop blaming yourself for ANY of her poor choices. You did Nothing wrong. It is up to her to keep her legs closed and her integrity intact. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Delete her from your life or she'll keep coming back like fart at a truck stop. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Does your fiance feel "remorse" because she cheated or because she got caught. You do realize that if you hadn't caught her, this affair would be still going on, right? That she cheated because you weren't such a fun guy to be around tending your business is just too easy an excuse. But it's not true. Your fiance made a decision to cheat because she *wanted* to. Meanwhile your poor dog. He deserves to live in peace in his home too, free of her psycho poodle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I've a feeling you can do much better than her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awescott87 Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 Thanks everyone. I am currently getting a lawyer to straighten everything out with the mortgage. Also when I caught her she had ended it about 3weeks prior. This is still new to me and my gut is telling me to end it but I also know I’m still in a form of shock. What she did is horrible but with my current mental state cuz of all this I don’t think I’m able to make a fully rational educated decision till I get my head on straight... has anyone been threw something similar to this? What did you do? Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Yeah, a lot of us have gone through it... And you have been through it before as well. You are a mark to these women. You probably have some money and you are gullible. You need to stay away from women until you learn some discernment. And understand this, you need to protect your finances and do not give anything to any woman again. You need a break with women. What is it 3 in a row that have cheated on you? That mean you are a mark and you cannot tell when a woman is playing you. So stay away from them for a WHILE. This chick is a liar. And understand this, there is no possible way that she is remorseful for what she has done. For a woman that actually loves you, it takes a lot of work and counseling for them to get there and many of them never do. You need to understand the difference between "regretting getting caught" and true remorse. Dump this woman yesterday... Link to post Share on other sites
Author awescott87 Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 Yeah, a lot of us have gone through it... And you have been through it before as well. You are a mark to these women. You probably have some money and you are gullible. You need to stay away from women until you learn some discernment. And understand this, you need to protect your finances and do not give anything to any woman again. You need a break with women. What is it 3 in a row that have cheated on you? That mean you are a mark and you cannot tell when a woman is playing you. So stay away from them for a WHILE. This chick is a liar. And understand this, there is no possible way that she is remorseful for what she has done. For a woman that actually loves you, it takes a lot of work and counseling for them to get there and many of them never do. You need to understand the difference between "regretting getting caught" and true remorse. Dump this woman yesterday... Fair enough... how do you define the difference between regretting getting caught and true remorse? Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Dump her. The best thing I did in my life was kicking my cheating finacé to the curb. She ended up addicted to drugs, having several mental problems, cheating on her husband and is now married to a woman. My life would not have been as great as it is had I stayed with her. You cannot be in a relationship with someone who has proven that she cannot be trusted no matter how sorry she is. She has proven that she can easily lie to you and that she cannot be trusted. Whatever made her cheat will occur again. You cannot marry a woman who solves problems by cheating. Move on and give her back the dog or find someone to take care of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Fair enough... how do you define the difference between regretting getting caught and true remorse? For one, they don't argue or talk back when your throw every conceivable word at them, nor do they get angry at you for not accepting their apology. They should know that you would be the worst person to them, and they should know they deserve it for putting you in that position. But no, they keep shelling out reasons, and arguments why they did it. But, what get my feathers ruffled, is how they can go back to their lives so easily, and expect you to get over it. They should be doing everything you need to bring you back, to at least, the table to see what further help, or things you need to put the relationship back on track. Ted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Fair enough... how do you define the difference between regretting getting caught and true remorse? There's a saying, "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them". She had a three month affair. That is not a mistake, that is a choice that she made time and time again for three months. You said she sorry and remorseful? Okay? How? Because you are on the ground level of your business and it sounds like you're expanding. That is going to take up a lot of your time. What happens to the next time you're busy? Sorry dude. But, if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one cheating, you think she would be soooo understanding? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 There's a saying, "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them". She had a three month affair. That is not a mistake, that is a choice that she made time and time again for three months. You said she sorry and remorseful? Okay? How? Because you are on the ground level of your business and it sounds like you're expanding. That is going to take up a lot of your time. What happens to the next time you're busy? Sorry dude. But, if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one cheating, you think she would be soooo understanding? Amen and amen... Preach on brother. Yes, what he said. Move on yesterday... Link to post Share on other sites
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