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I am not sure how to handle this

Negan

By Negan,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Negan

Negan

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Guilty, no. But it does sound like a bit of game playing going on.

 

I understand from your perspective this may give you a bit of an ego boost to make you feel like you are getting one over on her with her friend, but I am wondering what this friend's agenda is?

 

Regardless of what happened, hooking up with you straight afterwards makes me question her character as well. She would know this will get back to her at some point and cause problems among their friends, which would suggest she either has an axe to grind or she loves causing drama herself.

 

Personally I would try and avoid getting involved in messy situations like this.

 

Although I didn't word it properly, I tend to agree. I am not saying this to be arrogant, but I do get hit on a lot. I thought about her having an axe to grind, but I am also thinking maybe she felt bad? All's fair in love and war? Maybe I should ask her.

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Scarlett.O'hara

Scarlett.O'hara

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To be honest, my first instinct was to think highly of her for doing the right thing and telling you what was going on, but now I'm not so sure she did it for the right reasons.

 

I have a strong suspicion that she plays just as dirty as her friend does. I wouldn't want to get caught up in it, but you're a grown man, so I'm sure you know what you're doing.

 

If you have plenty of other offers though, you might be better off exploring them.

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jay1983

jay1983

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So the bridesmaid who originally tipped me off about what was going on has contacted me on Facebook. We have been talking, texting, and even been out a few times. Should I feel guilty?

 

Hell yeah, that's why told you to look for her. In this case she found.

 

Maybe she does have an axe to grind. I think it's great. :D

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Negan

Negan

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To be honest, my first instinct was to think highly of her for doing the right thing and telling you what was going on, but now I'm not so sure she did it for the right reasons.

 

I have a strong suspicion that she plays just as dirty as her friend does. I wouldn't want to get caught up in it, but you're a grown man, so I'm sure you know what you're doing.

 

If you have plenty of other offers though, you might be better off exploring them.

 

When I see her tomorrow, I am going to see what she has to say. I will gauge her words and take it from there.

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Jdoublenn

Jdoublenn

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To be honest, my first instinct was to think highly of her for doing the right thing and telling you what was going on, but now I'm not so sure she did it for the right reasons.

 

I have a strong suspicion that she plays just as dirty as her friend does. I wouldn't want to get caught up in it, but you're a grown man, so I'm sure you know what you're doing.

 

If you have plenty of other offers though, you might be better off exploring them.

 

Totally agree. It sounds good on paper that she warned you, but the bigger picture makes us wonder WHY she warned you and then wanted to hit you up. Im sensing some type of scheme.

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Negan

Negan

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Well, I think she warned me because what her friend was doing was pretty messed up and I think she wanted to let me know. That is how I see it anyway.

 

There are a lot of what if's about her not warning me. What if this girl I went to the wedding with came back to the room had I not left after sleeping and messing around with the other guy. I would of had no idea. What if I slept with her that same night? Health concerns, and other things. Waking up the next morning and her doing the walk of of shame unbeknownst to me while I look the fool.

 

I think she had good intentions warning me.

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Negan

Negan

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Definitely beyond a red flag. That is unacceptable behavior and how can you possibly see how it could get any better? Sorry - time to move on.

 

I think you should read the the thread in it's entirety.

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usa1ah

usa1ah

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Negan I can not think why the girl that informed you has come under fire.

 

Sorry I just have a hard time beating someone down after they have done a good turn.

 

If she was attracted to you at the time does it make her actions any less sincere.

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Scarlett.O'hara

Scarlett.O'hara

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Negan I can not think why the girl that informed you has come under fire.

 

Sorry I just have a hard time beating someone down after they have done a good turn.

 

If she was attracted to you at the time does it make her actions any less sincere.

 

I also thought she did him a good turn, but the rest of her actions sound like shady friendship behavior.

 

I see the potential for him to get caught up in some messy frenemy drama. Some people get off on that type of drama, others are repelled by it. He can make up his mind if it is worth the risk.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Negan

Negan

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Happy New Year everyone. Sorry I couldn't update sooner. I decided not to pursue things with this woman. My gut told me her intentions were not genuine. Hopefully this year will be better for me on the dating front.

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Space Ritual

Space Ritual

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Clean Slate is always good. Based on the totality of the situation, Negan you handled this about as well as anyone could have.

 

you'll have quite the story to tell.....

 

Hopefully you had at least one chance to pass the Cartilage Baton to the Bridesmaid that told you...

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  • 2 weeks later...
Cobra_X

Cobra_X

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A little background on the situation: I met a woman on a flight back home from one of my military reserve weekends. We have been dating for about two months. We live about 45 mins from each other. We get along, she compliments me, and we talk all the time. We have yet to be intimate because she as a 15 date rule, which I respect.

 

You failed right up front. It doesn't matter if she gives you a 15 or a 3 date rule... you need to push her as hard as you can as fast as you can. The reason you do this is because it shows you both her true character and makes her more attracted to you.

 

By failing to push her phony boundaries she determined you were a chump and a loser. When a woman tells you that you have to wait a set period of time... it's a guarantee that other men didn't wait at all.

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Just a Guy

Just a Guy

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Hi Cobra, I guess your words of wisdom were too little too late! Read through the thread and you'll see. Warm wishes.

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Negan

Negan

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You failed right up front. It doesn't matter if she gives you a 15 or a 3 date rule... you need to push her as hard as you can as fast as you can. The reason you do this is because it shows you both her true character and makes her more attracted to you.

 

By failing to push her phony boundaries she determined you were a chump and a loser. When a woman tells you that you have to wait a set period of time... it's a guarantee that other men didn't wait at all.

 

Sounds like you have an exciting dating life! Push her as hard and fast as I can? I am sorry, I but I am not in the race horse business and I am a little too tall to be a jockey.

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