Broken3112 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 I think the reason why you have to 'move on' in a way and stop pining for the ex is this, and it is working for me. If you go the route of misery, and in the midst of all of it, devise certain ways to contact or let the ex know u exist or whatever (as in spend 80% of your time figuring out how to get the ex back), then if you somehow DO get the ex back, then what does the ex have to come back to? A wasteland of misery that you've built up while he/she has gone. I've stopped all contact and just found ways to fill up my time. These activities in turn make me a better more developed person. During my breakup, my ex came back once. Yeah, she came back to the mess of a house i had made, and I myself looked like crap from depression and to top it all off there just was nothing new about my life - the life she decided to detach herself from. Wasn't long before she left again. That's when i decided to ACCEPT that she was gone, and start over. I took up new hobbies, made new friends, saw a therapist, worked out etc. In my mind and heart, she was gone and there was NOTHING i could do about it. You HAVE to come to terms with this and get in that mindset- because thats the only way to pull yourself from the mud to become a better, more attractive person in case they do come back for a peek. She came back, not got back together, but came back. She saw. She doesn't know what to make of it all - the changes, but i'm pretty sure its intriguing her. She may ask to get back together, but the vibe i am giving (and honestly, not as a game) is 'look at me, I have grown and picked myself up' and I did it all myself and you are not so much a concern to me.' And if she doesn't come back, I am doubly more attractive and ready to take on someone better. Good luck to all the wonderful people here at Loveshack. Peace. BROKEN Link to post Share on other sites
jc Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Hey, I remember feeling like you do now...I think that the last time C and I broke up, it took me a couple of months to get to that nice place. Now we've broken up again and I'm starting NC again, and it's so hard. But I know that you are right, the fastest and best way to heal is NC. I did it the other way last time, calling every few days and crying, seeing him, etc. Did not help at all. So NC here I come (I have to start over today because I just sent him an email telling him exactly how he broke his promises to me and why I deserve better...just so he knows...I know, I'm retarded:) AGAIN Link to post Share on other sites
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