Still thinking about a girl who went back to her ex

[protonking]

It's my first year in college I started out with a girlfriend but ended up breaking up with her due to the long distance. I was gonna continue the semester single until this one girl approached me at lunch. We started talking and we hit it off pretty well. We ended up spending a lot of time together we went over to each others dorms almost everyday. At the time she told me that she was in a toxic relationship for over 3 years and was ready to get out, but didn't want to start over through the talking stages and all that. The more time we spent together the more attached I got, but instead of telling my feelings for her I continued to act like a single man I went to parties and kissed a few girls which I told her about and I regret doing those things. We had a real conversation about this one night when we were talking about how we felt towards each other. Even though I messed up she respected my honesty and we continued to spend lots of time together. From the minute I met her I was honest with her and I was gonna continue to do that if we were gonna be close. Then the weekend before we left for thanksgiving break I was at her dorm watching movies and she wanted me to spend the night and I did. We didn't have sex or kiss or anything all I did was lay with her till I fell asleep. We went to breakfast the next morning and she told me about personal stories about how her ex abused her and her rough upbringing in her neighborhood, she told me things that not many people know about, not even her roommates. Later that night I went to a party and ended up kissing another girl on camera and the video went around the school. The next morning she didn't talk to me all day and I got worried and I look on instagram to see her back with her abusive ex which pissed me off. The next morning I texted her that we needed to talk and I ended up telling her that I care about her and that I have feelings for her and that I didn't want her to go back into a relationship like that. I told her about the video and that it was a mistake and I was ready to leave that life behind me and move forward with a relationship with her. She told me that this puts her in a bad spot, but she been had feelings for me but was waiting on me to make a move. Truth is I was afraid that if I did tell her that, she wasn't gonna feel the same way and I was gonna lose her. I made her a promise that I would treat her better than anyone ever has in her life and she liked that. I walked her to the dorm gave her a hug and we left on good terms. We talked for a day after that and then after a day she blocks me on snapchat and I was left confused. She posts another pic of her and her bf on ig, I then realize that she choose him over me. When we get back on break I tried to talk to her but she got back on campus late and I never got the chance to get closure. Then finally one night I see her at the cafe and I sit down with her and my friends. For some reason they decide to show the video of me kissing the girl at the party to her and she gets up and leaves. At this point I'm thinking I lost my chance with her. But I decide to talk to her roommate about the situation and she tells me that at this point that I should back off and leave her alone, which I was gonna do in the first place cause I wasn't going to interfere in her happiness. I told her roommate that I still care about her and that if she needs someone I'll be there for her and I don't wanna date anyone else.

 

I know I made some mistakes, but I really care about and I'm not sure if I wanna move on from her. But at the same time she deserves to be happy and if not in the picture I'm just gonna have to deal with it move on. I wanna tell her this but idk if I should cause things are different because she's with her boyfriend I wouldn't want to cause problems between the two knowing that has abused her in the past. I would love to hear some advice on this situation.

[ByMyself01]

Back off dude. She barely knows you and she probably already feels you're a backstabber. At this point, the only thing you can give her is distance and time. And some people love to exaggerate their so called bad situations/relationships for sympathy or a way to ease the guilt when they themselves did something wrong. Clearly, the relationship with the ex wasn't that bad if she had a chance to move on yet she's back with him. She doesn't trust you and you probably shouldn't trust her either. I don't believe her relationship was abusive unless she's one of those who keep going back because they like it and confuse it with love.