What is this passive aggressive jealousy thing?

[heavenonearth]

This weekend, I was staying over at my boyfriend's. We live in different cities so I went to see him. Friday night we stayed in, cooked, played games. Saturday morning he told me he forgot about plans he made with his cousin to go to a concert at night. I urged him to go, and decided to just stay at home to cook for myself.

Then a friend texted me that he was also going to go to that concert but decided against it due to bad weather, and asked if I wanted to meet around the corner for dinner and a drink. I thought it would be nice, so we met.

 

2 hours later, my boyfriend and me arrived home around the same time, and my boyfriend asked me what I did while he was at the concert. I told him about meeting my friend, showed him a selfie we took during the dinner.

My boyfriend just said "Oh... he's cute."

I said "Why would you say that?".

And he said "You don't think he's cute?", to which I just rolled my eyes.

Nothing followed then, these were just comments he made and then we moved on from it. He did not ask about any details of my night and just continued to talk about the concert.

When my friend was texting me later about something we had talked about during dinner, my boyfriend was saying "Texting with *friend's name*, eh?".

 

I really find this quiet, passive aggressive commenting odd.

Either you're jealous, or you're not. Either you show it, or you don't.

But what is this in-between thing?

When I ask him if he is jealous, in that moment, he says "No! Why - should I be?"

 

I really do not understand this behavior.

It is really starting to piss me off, though, because this happens every time I spend time with a male friend.

He also never asks about details of what I did, but when I meet a female friend, he's always interested in what we talked about, what plans we had made, etc., as he always is with my daily life.

 

Thoughts?

[No_Go]

He's probably feeling jealous but doesn't want to express it... and that's why it comes off in passive aggressive form.

 

Does he have the tendency to bottle up other things in this way? There is a problem if he bottles up stuff and blows off later.

 

Btw male friends one-on-one while in a relationship will cause anxiety in many guys... It is not nice but quite normal. If you explain the nature of the relationship with the guy friends that you have, he'll slowly start getting more comfortable with it.

[carhill]

How included are your male friends in your couple's life? Dinner parties together? BBQ's? Group outings? Etc. How about him? Does he include his male/female friends in your couple's life? How does that go?

 

How long have you been BF/GF? Any other hiccups along the way?

 

IME, most of my male friends are pretty territorial about other males their wives may associate with. Not prohibitive but territorial. I wasn't and, heh, well wife became exW and ended up with one. The territorial instinct in the male is pretty innate and strong. Sure, some of us process it intellectually using modern societal conventions but the base mating covetousness is still there.

 

Is this style, which you term passive-aggressive, how he normally approaches relationship issues, or just this one?

[heavenonearth]

He's probably feeling jealous but doesn't want to express it... and that's why it comes off in passive aggressive form.

 

Does he have the tendency to bottle up other things in this way? There is a problem if he bottles up stuff and blows off later.

 

Btw male friends one-on-one while in a relationship will cause anxiety in many guys... It is not nice but quite normal. If you explain the nature of the relationship with the guy friends that you have, he'll slowly start getting more comfortable with it.

 

Mh, I think he can definitely bottle up things, but we haven't that that many moments where that was the case. Usually, if we have a small fight, we confront things right away. But I know from the past that he used to bottle up feelings a lot. I am not sure if he still does it, it seems he has been working on it. Maybe not in this case :?

 

Yeah, I have a lot of male friends I do one-on-one activities with. He doesn't, though. His friends are mainly guys, and the only girls he is close friends with are all the girlfriends of his male friends. He went to the movies with the girlfriend of his best friend two weeks ago (his best friend was sick so she asked my boyfriend to go), but this must be a very rare instance, because he never had one-on-one's with his female friends.

I on the other hand have A LOT of male friends. And since I am younger than him, I do not know many couples, and have more single friends.

 

The guy friend I went out with Saturday is someone I make music with, that is the nature of our relationship, but we also get along outside of our creative formation.

[heavenonearth]

How included are your male friends in your couple's life? Dinner parties together? BBQ's? Group outings? Etc. How about him? Does he include his male/female friends in your couple's life? How does that go?

No, he has not really met many of my friends at all. He has met my best friend, and two of my girlfriends. I have yet to meet his close friends, I only met one friend so far. He keeps wanting to plan a couples dinner with his best friend and best friend's girlfriend, but I am not so often in his city... there's always something up.

 

 

How long have you been BF/GF? Any other hiccups along the way?

6 months. Hiccups.. yes, but we mastered them fairly well. Nothing major so far.

 

IME, most of my male friends are pretty territorial about other males their wives may associate with. Not prohibitive but territorial. I wasn't and, heh, well wife became exW and ended up with one. The territorial instinct in the male is pretty innate and strong. Sure, some of us process it intellectually using modern societal conventions but the base mating covetousness is still there.

 

Is this style, which you term passive-aggressive, how he normally approaches relationship issues, or just this one?

 

I can see that, the territorial thing. He did mention that he can be very protective if he has a partner that he loves. And currently we are closer than ever, we really are not shying away at all anymore from professing our love for one another, and I can tell he's becoming more protective.

 

He can be passive aggressive in fights. We fight sometimes but the fights are usually short. His initial responses are often very passive aggressive, he then apologizes fairly quickly for that, though.

I tend to be very calm in fights, and rather quiet, and do not aggravate, but he can really rile himself up if he's got a stubborn thought in his head.

 

I don't know, I really can't tell, I find it just too weird that he acts so non-confrontational with his jealousy, because he is very confrontational whenever he has an issue pertaining to us, otherwise.

[smackie9]

He's jealous....don't have one on one dinners with that friend. Just sayin. Most guys, and your BF knows this, don't have dinner with women just for their sparkling personality.

[No_Go]

In that case it is probably worth it sitting down and having a mature talk about how you and him view friends from the opposite sex, what both of you find acceptable and what not etc. Otherwise I'm pretty sure it will cause friction down the line...

 

I have many male friends as well, and go to one-on-one activities with some. Men react differently to it:

 

* My ex was not cool with it - he thought even if I view them platonically, they probably want more if occasion permits. How I solved the issue back then was by taking my then-bf to meet my guy friends and if meeting them one-on-one - avoid date-ish situations (like dinners etc)

 

* A guy that I dated more recently was on the other end of the spectrum. He said he sees nothing wrong with friends from the opposite sex, and even his friends were predominantly female. If I were to transition into LTR with him, I'd not worry at all about meeting my guy friends.

 

Anyway your guy seems like scenario 1. It is better to set expectations early on so you can keep both your relationship AND friendships without too much complications.

 

Mh, I think he can definitely bottle up things, but we haven't that that many moments where that was the case. Usually, if we have a small fight, we confront things right away. But I know from the past that he used to bottle up feelings a lot. I am not sure if he still does it, it seems he has been working on it. Maybe not in this case :?

 

Yeah, I have a lot of male friends I do one-on-one activities with. He doesn't, though. His friends are mainly guys, and the only girls he is close friends with are all the girlfriends of his male friends. He went to the movies with the girlfriend of his best friend two weeks ago (his best friend was sick so she asked my boyfriend to go), but this must be a very rare instance, because he never had one-on-one's with his female friends.

I on the other hand have A LOT of male friends. And since I am younger than him, I do not know many couples, and have more single friends.

 

The guy friend I went out with Saturday is someone I make music with, that is the nature of our relationship, but we also get along outside of our creative formation.

[heavenonearth]

He's jealous....don't have one on one dinners with that friend. Just sayin. Most guys, and your BF knows this, don't have dinner with women just for their sparkling personality.

 

Well we make music together but sometimes it is nice to meet outside of a studio and just talk about things other than music. He knows i have my boyfriend and he would not try anything, it’s surreal to me. He’s like a little brother or something. I don’t even understand why my boyfriend would be jealous.

[heavenonearth]

In that case it is probably worth it sitting down and having a mature talk about how you and him view friends from the opposite sex, what both of you find acceptable and what not etc. Otherwise I'm pretty sure it will cause friction down the line...

 

I have many male friends as well, and go to one-on-one activities with some. Men react differently to it:

 

* My ex was not cool with it - he thought even if I view them platonically, they probably want more if occasion permits. How I solved the issue back then was by taking my then-bf to meet my guy friends and if meeting them one-on-one - avoid date-ish situations (like dinners etc)

 

* A guy that I dated more recently was on the other end of the spectrum. He said he sees nothing wrong with friends from the opposite sex, and even his friends were predominantly female. If I were to transition into LTR with him, I'd not worry at all about meeting my guy friends.

 

Anyway your guy seems like scenario 1. It is better to set expectations early on so you can keep both your relationship AND friendships without too much complications.

 

That’s be thing, he never said anything about me having male friends or meeting them. In the beginning he was cool with it too, and it even went without comment. Now lately these passive aggressive comments started popping up and it’s really freaking me out.

So i think generally he doesn’t mind i have male friends, but then i really don’t get why he is jealous.

[BluesPower]

Well we make music together but sometimes it is nice to meet outside of a studio and just talk about things other than music. He knows i have my boyfriend and he would not try anything, it’s surreal to me. He’s like a little brother or something. I don’t even understand why my boyfriend would be jealous.

 

This is where you are being naïve ...

 

Your BF knows that any male, and yes any, would jump into bed with you at the drop of the hat.

 

I know, I know, you are young and modern and your friends, are not like that... PLEASE.

 

I am a musician, work with a lot of females and if I was not in a relationship, I would bang any of them.

 

That is just the way it is, young, progressive, modern, creative, whatever, that is the way that it is.

 

You need to recognize this.

 

Don't allow yourself to have dinners alone, that should be out of bounds...

[heavenonearth]

This is where you are being naïve ...

 

Your BF knows that any male, and yes any, would jump into bed with you at the drop of the hat.

 

I know, I know, you are young and modern and your friends, are not like that... PLEASE.

 

I am a musician, work with a lot of females and if I was not in a relationship, I would bang any of them.

 

That is just the way it is, young, progressive, modern, creative, whatever, that is the way that it is.

 

You need to recognize this.

 

Don't allow yourself to have dinners alone, that should be out of bounds...

 

 

I do not see why this means I am being naive. If we'd assume the guy may want to sleep with me, I mean sorry, but I still have a say in this as well! There are probably a lot of people I meet everyday who want to sleep with me, does not mean it will happen. I have agency.

 

Do you think dinner alone is really that bad? I mean, we meet to make music at each other's houses, isn't that much more intimate than a dinner in a public place around the corner from my boyfriend's house?

 

Don't get the logic..

[AndreaRiley]

Well, Being passive-aggressive doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Often it’s “a strategy we use when we think we don’t deserve to speak our minds or we’re afraid to be honest and open..

[BluesPower]

I do not see why this means I am being naive. If we'd assume the guy may want to sleep with me, I mean sorry, but I still have a say in this as well! There are probably a lot of people I meet everyday who want to sleep with me, does not mean it will happen. I have agency.

 

Do you think dinner alone is really that bad? I mean, we meet to make music at each other's houses, isn't that much more intimate than a dinner in a public place around the corner from my boyfriend's house?

 

Don't get the logic..

 

That is where the naiveté comes in... It may not be you that he does not trust, it could be the guy.

 

And yes, being in his home is more intimate, but at least when you are going there, you at least have work to do, music. Where as, when you go to dinner you are on a date. It "looks" different, see what I mean?

 

And here is the deal, I am not saying that your BF is justified or right in what he is doing and the way that he is acting. I am trying to explain to you WHY he is acting that way.

 

It does not matter is it makes sense to you or not, it is the reason that he is doing it that is important.

 

You can talk with him, dump him or whatever, but at least you will have an understanding of why he behaves that way.

 

And here is another thing to think about... This and other boards are replete with stories of 'Friends" that work together or opposite sex friends that, once a relationship has a bad day, those "friends" end up sleeping together, which makes everything worse.

 

I am sure that you would never do that, but you need to be aware that it happens a lot...

[No_Go]

 

And here is another thing to think about... This and other boards are replete with stories of 'Friends" that work together or opposite sex friends that, once a relationship has a bad day, those "friends" end up sleeping together, which makes everything worse.

 

I am sure that you would never do that, but you need to be aware that it happens a lot...

 

As much as I’m for male friends (because I enjoy male thought process a lot), I tend to agree here... After I found myself single *many* of my male friends attempted crossing boundaries... It actually makes me sad since I would have never done it in the reverse case but apparently they have been thinking about it to some extent when I was coupled as well. Did I sleep with any of them? Nope, but it still makes me nervous they’re thinking about it (btw I’m zero-flirting type, so it’s not like I provoke them).

 

I think OP should introduce her BF to her male friends - this will make everyone’s role very clear. Male friends and BG can coexist but it takes some strategizing.

[heavenonearth]

That is where the naiveté comes in... It may not be you that he does not trust, it could be the guy.

 

And yes, being in his home is more intimate, but at least when you are going there, you at least have work to do, music. Where as, when you go to dinner you are on a date. It "looks" different, see what I mean?

 

And here is the deal, I am not saying that your BF is justified or right in what he is doing and the way that he is acting. I am trying to explain to you WHY he is acting that way.

 

It does not matter is it makes sense to you or not, it is the reason that he is doing it that is important.

 

You can talk with him, dump him or whatever, but at least you will have an understanding of why he behaves that way.

 

And here is another thing to think about... This and other boards are replete with stories of 'Friends" that work together or opposite sex friends that, once a relationship has a bad day, those "friends" end up sleeping together, which makes everything worse.

 

I am sure that you would never do that, but you need to be aware that it happens a lot...

 

 

Oh my, i would never dump him, he’s the man of my dreams. I want to have a family with him one day. But i don’t want to always be made feel guilty for wanting to spend time with my friends. And of course i don’t want him to feel he need to make these passive aggressive comments.

I always had the feeling he trusts me. So when he makes these comments it feels off.

[heavenonearth]

As much as I’m for male friends (because I enjoy male thought process a lot), I tend to agree here... After I found myself single *many* of my male friends attempted crossing boundaries... It actually makes me sad since I would have never done it in the reverse case but apparently they have been thinking about it to some extent when I was coupled as well. Did I sleep with any of them? Nope, but it still makes me nervous they’re thinking about it (btw I’m zero-flirting type, so it’s not like I provoke them).

 

I think OP should introduce her BF to her male friends - this will make everyone’s role very clear. Male friends and BG can coexist but it takes some strategizing.

 

Would like to introduce him to all my friends but it’s difficult with the living apart and work and school and timing. I feel priority is that i meat his best friends first. Hope that will happen before the New Year chimes in.

 

And i get what you mean. I had that happen in the past too, that a male friend started to hit on me once i was single. It was such a disappointment and kinda ruined the friendship for me.

[elaine567]

He is a 38yo man straight out of a 15 year LTR, he may want to appear cool and modern, but he doesn't want his 30yo gf meeting other guys for dinner.

 

Your bf doesn't really care that that is your "good friend", he doesn't want that guy to be in your life as he, and any others like him, is a threat.

 

You KNOW that everything is above board from your end anyway, but your bf doesn't know that and it is the not ever knowing that will kill him.

 

OSFs (Opposte Sex Friends) are great, but when a relationship gets serious, the OSFs very often need to go or need to be incorporated into the wider coupley group.

It is the way the world works, when young, people like to hang out in "gangs", but few in LTRs want to deal with the complications that OSFs bring.

As people age and get into serious LTRS, OSFs get ditched right left and centre as it is often boils down to a case of "It's me or the OSF, your choice".

 

If you want a man to accept all your male friends, then I guess you chose the wrong one, as he is as jealous as hell and is trying to swallow it. Your appropriateness as long term material for him I guess took a hit.

Trouble ahead here if you want to continue what you are doing...

 

Of course it isn't "right", people can be friends with anyone they want to be friends with, but IRL all that idealism doesn't tend to work.

[heavenonearth]

He is a 38yo man straight out of a 15 year LTR, he may want to appear cool and modern, but he doesn't want his 30yo gf meeting other guys for dinner.

 

Your bf doesn't really care that that is your "good friend", he doesn't want that guy to be in your life as he, and any others like him, is a threat.

 

You KNOW that everything is above board from your end anyway, but your bf doesn't know that and it is the not ever knowing that will kill him.

 

OSFs (Opposte Sex Friends) are great, but when a relationship gets serious, the OSFs very often need to go or need to be incorporated into the wider coupley group.

It is the way the world works, when young, people like to hang out in "gangs", but few in LTRs want to deal with the complications that OSFs bring.

As people age and get into serious LTRS, OSFs get ditched right left and centre as it is often boils down to a case of "It's me or the OSF, your choice".

 

If you want a man to accept all your male friends, then I guess you chose the wrong one, as he is as jealous as hell and is trying to swallow it. Your appropriateness as long term material for him I guess took a hit.

Trouble ahead here if you want to continue what you are doing...

 

Of course it isn't "right", people can be friends with anyone they want to be friends with, but IRL all that idealism doesn't tend to work.

 

 

I doubt that he thinks I am not 'long term material' anymore because i went for dinner with my friend, that's just ridiculous. As I said, he went to the movies with a female friend just the other week, and I did not make a big deal out of that either.

Besides, he has encouraged me to do this music project with my friend, he's really happy I am engaging with other people making music, since I only did it on my own in the past few years.

[BluesPower]

I doubt that he thinks I am not 'long term material' anymore because i went for dinner with my friend, that's just ridiculous. As I said, he went to the movies with a female friend just the other week, and I did not make a big deal out of that either.

Besides, he has encouraged me to do this music project with my friend, he's really happy I am engaging with other people making music, since I only did it on my own in the past few years.

 

Dear, you posted and... asked what the deal was with your BF. OK, we have all told you. Random people from the internet have all told you something very similar.

 

However, you just think that these people, people BTW that take time to try and help, especially younger people, just don't understand YOUR situation.

 

You have all these reasons why this or that is silly. OK, if you know all the answers, then why are you posting on the internet.

 

We are telling you the way things are based on life long experiences and lots of heartache. Trust me, we have a good idea how things work.

 

It may not make sense to you, but you would do well to try and understand what we are saying.

 

It is really kind of childish to ask for advice and then explain away everyone's advice.

 

No one is saying that you or your BF are right or wrong, we are saying that this is the way that life works in almost all situations, not every one, but most.

 

When I was young, I wish I would have listened to some of the advice that I got at the time, it would have saved me so many troubles along the way...

[heavenonearth]

Dear, you posted and... asked what the deal was with your BF. OK, we have all told you. Random people from the internet have all told you something very similar.

 

However, you just think that these people, people BTW that take time to try and help, especially younger people, just don't understand YOUR situation.

 

You have all these reasons why this or that is silly. OK, if you know all the answers, then why are you posting on the internet.

 

We are telling you the way things are based on life long experiences and lots of heartache. Trust me, we have a good idea how things work.

 

It may not make sense to you, but you would do well to try and understand what we are saying.

 

It is really kind of childish to ask for advice and then explain away everyone's advice.

 

No one is saying that you or your BF are right or wrong, we are saying that this is the way that life works in almost all situations, not every one, but most.

 

When I was young, I wish I would have listened to some of the advice that I got at the time, it would have saved me so many troubles along the way...

 

 

Not sure why you are getting so defensive. All I am saying is that I don't think my boyfriend is having doubts about me, that's all.

[kgcolonel]

I do not see why this means I am being naive. If we'd assume the guy may want to sleep with me, I mean sorry, but I still have a say in this as well! There are probably a lot of people I meet everyday who want to sleep with me, does not mean it will happen. I have agency.

 

Do you think dinner alone is really that bad? I mean, we meet to make music at each other's houses, isn't that much more intimate than a dinner in a public place around the corner from my boyfriend's house?

 

Don't get the logic..

 

 

Heaven, here are a couple of things that struck me during my read on your thread:

 

1. You talk of how he was earlier in your relationship but the relationship is progressing and he's trying to open up and not bottle things. You've labeled it Passive Agressive but one could also call it hinting at a discomfort. Things that were "okay" earlier in the relationship may not be so much as feelings begin to deepen.

 

2. Who paid for the dinner?

 

3. I think also you told him that you were going to cook for yourself but ended up going on what "might be construed" as a date.

 

4. The remarks may be related to his being taken off guard as well.

 

I am not necessarily saying you did anything wrong here but it might be worthwhile to have that talk to ask him if he has any issues with one on one dinners, movies etc with your single male friends. Also, as the relationship progresses be prepared for other things that change both for a closer R with him and with your single friends.

[heavenonearth]

Heaven, here are a couple of things that struck me during my read on your thread:

 

1. You talk of how he was earlier in your relationship but the relationship is progressing and he's trying to open up and not bottle things. You've labeled it Passive Agressive but one could also call it hinting at a discomfort. Things that were "okay" earlier in the relationship may not be so much as feelings begin to deepen.

 

2. Who paid for the dinner?

 

3. I think also you told him that you were going to cook for yourself but ended up going on what "might be construed" as a date.

 

4. The remarks may be related to his being taken off guard as well.

 

I am not necessarily saying you did anything wrong here but it might be worthwhile to have that talk to ask him if he has any issues with one on one dinners, movies etc with your single male friends. Also, as the relationship progresses be prepared for other things that change both for a closer R with him and with your single friends.

 

Thanks for your response. yes, it makes sense, i am not saying he is passive aggressive in nature, I am just saying the 'hinting at discomfort' comes across as passive aggressive, because he is not really voicing what is up, but making these little comments... usually he does not shy away from mentioning when something is not to his liking.

 

My friend and me split the bill.

 

I think he knows it was not a date, but just a 'catching up with a friend', obviously not a date, I was hoping he'd be happy I didn't just wait at home for him but did something active as well. (He initially wanted me to join to the concert, but I really did not want to go all the way there, as it was very far and the weather very bad, and he felt bad that he was going and leaving me home alone).

 

And regarding 4., i think i get what you mean. He may not like that he feels this way, and does not want to confront me with his jealousy, as he may think it's unattractive or possessive? I am indeed noticing how, as we grow closer, he is over all becoming more protective and a bit more possessive of me. There is much more affection and verbal professions of love, whereas in the beginning he showed it only through gestures.

 

I suppose when you fall deeper in love with someone, you are more afraid of losing that person. That's how I feel, at least.

[Gaeta]

2 hours later, my boyfriend and me arrived home around the same time, and my boyfriend asked me what I did while he was at the concert. I told him about meeting my friend, showed him a selfie we took during the dinner.

My boyfriend just said "Oh... he's cute."

I said "Why would you say that?".

 

I would have answered: Yes he's pretty cute and would not have turned this into a confrontation with *why would you say that* He did not accuse you of anything so why jump on the defensive? He made a comment the guy was cute so you agree or you don't agree he's cute and end it there.

 

When my friend was texting me later about something we had talked about during dinner, my boyfriend was saying "Texting with *friend's name*, eh?".

and I would have answered yep I am we're working on a very interesting piece right and he's got a new idea...Again answering the question and not jumping on the defensive, simply answer and share what the text is about.

 

There are ways to cool down passive-aggressive and ways to feed it. I think you fed his passive-aggressiveness without knowing it. If going out to dinner with that friend is totally normal and platonic than act as it is and don't get on the defensive.

 

When my bf ask me if I am chatting with my male friend I answer *yes, his gf just got a promotion and they're celebrating this over the weekend* I don't put any negative meaning into my bf asking, I simply answer and give him details so he feels I am an open book with him. Once he told me he had run into an old female friend and one thing let to another and I asked him if she was good looking. He answered honestly and he said yes, she's gorgeous and always well put together. Guess what? In never asked him again if so and so is good looking lol

[smackie9]

Well we make music together but sometimes it is nice to meet outside of a studio and just talk about things other than music. He knows i have my boyfriend and he would not try anything, it’s surreal to me. He’s like a little brother or something. I don’t even understand why my boyfriend would be jealous.

 

 

It's not you two grabbing a bite after a session, it was him calling you out of the blue to meet him for dinner and drinks.....what does that sound like to you? It sounds like a date. Your BF, and others on here, find this inappropriate. Funny how the weather was so bad for him to go to the same concert your BF had np going to....get what I mean? It may seem harmless to you, but to your BF it looks sketchy.

 

You and your BF need to set some boundaries by discussing what you both find what is acceptable when it comes to spending time with people of the opposite sex. Clear the air and get on the same page.

[heavenonearth]

I would have answered: Yes he's pretty cute and would not have turned this into a confrontation with *why would you say that* He did not accuse you of anything so why jump on the defensive? He made a comment the guy was cute so you agree or you don't agree he's cute and end it there.

 

and I would have answered yep I am we're working on a very interesting piece right and he's got a new idea...Again answering the question and not jumping on the defensive, simply answer and share what the text is about.

 

There are ways to cool down passive-aggressive and ways to feed it. I think you fed his passive-aggressiveness without knowing it. If going out to dinner with that friend is totally normal and platonic than act as it is and don't get on the defensive.

 

When my bf ask me if I am chatting with my male friend I answer *yes, his gf just got a promotion and they're celebrating this over the weekend* I don't put any negative meaning into my bf asking, I simply answer and give him details so he feels I am an open book with him. Once he told me he had run into an old female friend and one thing let to another and I asked him if she was good looking. He answered honestly and he said yes, she's gorgeous and always well put together. Guess what? In never asked him again if so and so is good looking lol

 

Thanks for the input, this is useful feedback. Will definitely change the way I react to his comments regarding guy friends. Good idea!