Workaholics in a relationship together

[Popsicle]

Do you think workaholics do better with other workaholics? How do two workaholics maintain a relationship? How does that go?

[carhill]

Work hard, play hard and love hard. They fill up every second of the day with something.

 

I would never be married to one because, frankly, at my age they'd find me lazy. I did all that stuff back in the day and it's cool and all but life goes on and I changed my mind

 

As an example from today, I still like sitting down and spending a half day writing out Christmas card notes by hand. This would drive a workaholic nuts, and has on a couple of occasions.

 

I think high energy, driven people should either seek out like-minded people for R's or find someone who compliments them and only if they have an open mind about other styles of living besides high energy and driven.

 

I like the couple that lays their tablets next to each and syncs their schedules. That's cool

[Popsicle]

I like the couple that lays their tablets next to each and syncs their schedules. That's cool

 

Lol

I didn’t know you could do that.

[Popsicle]

I’ve taken on a second career and admittedly I’ve become a bit of a workaholic. But I’m not dating right now so this doesn’t bother me. So now this guy who’s a workoholic has expressed interest in me. I’m like, when in the world would we spend time together???

 

That would be so weird to me.

[OpenBook]

That is a good question. I would imagine that like any couple, you make adjustments as you go.

 

Hopefully an advantage right out of the gate is that both of you already know what it's like to be a workaholic. You "get" each other.

 

But then there's the potential hurdle of trying to match each partner's expectations to what the other is willing to do in response to their workaholism.

 

I guess no matter what, a relationship takes work from both partners. Feed & water it regularly, or it dies.

[Popsicle]

That is a good question. I would imagine that like any couple, you make adjustments as you go.

 

Hopefully an advantage right out of the gate is that both of you already know what it's like to be a workaholic. You "get" each other.

 

But then there's the potential hurdle of trying to match each partner's expectations to what the other is willing to do in response to their workaholism.

 

I guess no matter what, a relationship takes work from both partners. Feed & water it regularly, or it dies.

I’m thinking of a few cases I know of where both parties were workaholics WHEN THEY MET, and didn’t turn into one later (because that’s different). They had trouble connecting. I mean really connecting.

[SolG]

Hey Pops, I'm not just a workaholic, I also travel all the time. And my best relationships have been with fellow workaholics. IME they just get it. They understand that for some of us work/life balance is a misnomer; that for people like me work is PART of life and not some separate thing.

 

I actually find passion and commitment to something bigger fabulously attractive. It doesn't have to be some enormous money making endeavor. It could be making music, working for a multi nat NGO, flying, probono work...

 

I find it easier to connect with people who also love what they do and never want to stop doing it. It used to drive me nuts that my xH was always dreaming about retirement.

 

When you both have busy schedules, you both understand the value of time. And you make it work if it's important enough to you. I remember having two hour-long Skype calls one NYE across multiple time zones. One at his midnight, and one at mine.

 

However, I have a gf who's just broken up with a man because they're both workaholics. But in their case he always expected her to accomodate his schedule, and never vice versa. He believed his time was more important than hers, so there was an imbalance.

 

I guess it's really like any other R. Sometimes it works... sometimes it doesn't!

[Popsicle]

See that’s the thing........when you love your work so much there’s not enough room in your heart for anyone else. But it sounds good.

[SolG]

See that’s the thing........when you love your work so much there’s not enough room in your heart for anyone else. But it sounds good.

 

Oh contraire! My heart has infinite room for love for my career AND those close to me. And love means making time and effort. For example...

 

Last week I excercised most mornings, worked long days, Skyped my anchor partner at night and fell asleep with him. Except for Tuesday where he flew up here in the evening and spent the night. On Friday afternoon we chatted while he was waiting at the airport to fly out to see his W and kids for the weekend. Then I had one of my besties over for wine and takeout Thai (the gf who is also a workaholic that I refered to above btw).

 

Then on Saturday I went to another bestie's champagne Christmas luncheon, which carried on to a pizza dinner at local pub. Then on Sunday I had a pedi, then brunch with my daughter. Touched base with my Mum and xH on the phone. Then gardened and caught up on domestics and did some prep/catchup for work in the evening. Last week was somewhat similar except substitute a Christmas decoupage for gardening. I need me time as well!

 

And all of those interpersonal interractions involved heartfelt intimacy and love. My life is not conventional, but it doesn't want for love. Just as anyone can find excuses to NOT spend time with those they care about, they can just as easily plan to do so if they really want to. No matter how hectic or challenging life is, including work. It just takes the will and desire to do so.

 

Our plan for Christmas is a case in point. We're all working until the 22nd of December. Then xH, our daughter and I are having lunch on Christmas Eve. On Chistmas Day I'm having breakfast with my daughter and her best friend. She and her best friend are dropping me at the airport on the way to a late lunch with his family. I'm flying out to have a late lunch with my Mum. After lunch my daughter and her best friend are heading to my xH's to have dinner with him and his new partner (who is flying in after lunch with her adult children in the city she lives in). And my anchor partner, after having spent Christmas Day with his family will come and spend Christmas dinner and the night with mine.

 

I know that probably sounds complicated... but it's really not. When you all care... it just happens! Working around work, as with anything else, is as difficult as you choose to make it. And I find love makes it easier.

[SolG]

Oops. Double post.

[Chilli]

known a few and l think it's a pretty good deal really.

To work that hard or build a business or just love making money , takes a lotta hours and grit ,

You'd think it's gotta be a huge plus if you both love that stuff .

One of my sisters and her hubby are multi millionaires , both eat drink and sleep money and the business 24 7 quite happily .

No excuses or explanations needed , they both get it.

Edited December 11, 2017 by Chilli

[No_Go]

Do you think workaholics do better with other workaholics? How do two workaholics maintain a relationship? How does that go?

 

I think that works great, unless they are in the same field. If so - there is some bloody competition along the way who is better and who is the bigger workaholic and that poisons the relationship. I've seen this so many times in action...

[CptInsano]

I've never known anything different. Every woman I've ever dated had a career. This works rwther well if you don't need attention from your spouse all the time, anyhow. But it becomes a real problem if the careers diverge geographically, work-life balance goes completely out the window, or if you start competing against each other.